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Original poster

Pregnant at 43?!

317 replies

Stripypillow · 19/05/2023 10:44

I haven’t actually taken a test yet because I’m a bit scared to. Mostly because it would be an amazing but terrifying thing to be pregnant! I am 10 days late, and feel pregnant (headachey, sore boobs, sort of strange feeling that I had last time).

DH and I thought we couldn’t have another dc, we were told we had secondary infertility and conceiving naturally would be highly unlikely. DS is 10!

I know I might not even be pregnant. But if I am… anyone else had a baby at 43?! How did it go? I’m terrified for so many reasons! One that I’m not pregnant and have let myself fantasise about it for the last couple of days, another that I am and would miscarry because of my age, another that I am and would feel like an old mum…

I live in an area where women having babies in their 40s is normal. I have friends with babies and toddlers, so wouldn’t be completely left out.

Anyone had a baby at 43? How did it go?

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 19/05/2023 13:01

i had my son at 43. Totally normal pregnancy. I was fit and healthy to start so maybe that helps but the way I see it, at this age you wouldn’t be able to get pregnant and deliver if you weren’t healthy enough to. Test!

SemperIdem · 19/05/2023 13:02

Not me personally but I do know a few women who had babies in their early 40’s. A couple had tough pregnancies (sickness etc) but the others didn’t. All the babies were fine.

MumLass · 19/05/2023 13:03

Oh this is exciting OP! When are you going to do a test?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy
Redlarge · 19/05/2023 13:07

littlemissalwaystired · 19/05/2023 12:29

As a midwife let me reassure you it's sooo common nowSmile I honestly feel like I have more mothers in their 40s in my caseload than I do 20s.

Omg really?

JulesJules · 19/05/2023 13:08

I was pregnant for the first time at 40, and the second time at 43. It was fine. Best of luck, OP.

Backhometothenorth · 19/05/2023 13:13

Yes I had my fabulous DD2 at 43 and a half. DD1 at 39 and we thought we'd missed the boat for a second child. Great pregnancy and birth and she's coming up to seven years old now. An absolute blessing Star fingers crossed for you OP!

Lwrenagain · 19/05/2023 13:14

When are you doing a test? I'm already invested 😂

Whiskeypowers · 19/05/2023 13:15

I had my third at 42. Do a test! Good luck

AncientQuercus · 19/05/2023 13:20

I was 2 months short of 44 when I had DD. She is currently taking GCSEs.

MayMi · 19/05/2023 13:20

I used to work with a woman whose mum had her when she was 50 - her mum thought she couldn't conceive any more so she and her husband didn't use contraception.

The age gap between her and her older brother was about 20-25 years as well. Big surprise for all of course but everything went well.

willWillSmithsmith · 19/05/2023 13:40

I had a child at 43 (not my first). He’s eighteen now. Elective c section. Dream of a baby, very well behaved. Very smart and funny. He still lives at home and I really enjoy his company.

willWillSmithsmith · 19/05/2023 13:43

willWillSmithsmith · 19/05/2023 13:40

I had a child at 43 (not my first). He’s eighteen now. Elective c section. Dream of a baby, very well behaved. Very smart and funny. He still lives at home and I really enjoy his company.

Did forget to say though that I had horrible morning sickness for the first three months (for both pregnancies). I don’t know if that was linked to age but apparently morning sickness is a good sign.

spiderlight · 19/05/2023 13:46

My mum had me at nearly 47. It was so uneventful that she thought I was the menopause until six weeks before I was born!

Whyishewearingasombero · 19/05/2023 13:46

I was 42, pregnancy fine, all great!

fatsdominospizza · 19/05/2023 13:47

My sister had a baby at almost 45, perfect pregnancy, healthy baby and child is now 10. My sister has been mistaken for her grandmother a few times at the school gate which did upset her but I suppose a 55 year old with a 10 year old it's going to happen. The child was also made fun of in school with kids saying her Mum was "old" and was going to die soon which was very upsetting. My sister looks her age but is slim and healthy but does tire easily. My niece is a very full on, active 10 year old and some days my sister is run ragged trying to keep up with her but she adores her and they have a great relationship.

daisydalrymple · 19/05/2023 13:49

I was pg with dc3 at 42, gave birth just turned 43. Uneventful pregnancy, unitil 34 weeks, when I started contracting, so had steroids, then went into labour 36.5 weeks. Ds2 is now 8. Ds1 is 16 and dd is 14. Mostly they get on brilliantly. Exam stress and hormones have rocked the boat slightly 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣
fingers crossed for you.

GreyTS · 19/05/2023 13:49

@Stripypillow This sounds probably a bit dramatic, but (assuming I am pregnant and all goes well) mainly I’m worried that if this DC has a baby at 43 also, I’ll be too old to be a helpful grandma! That sort of thing"

Mate, to be fair you could die at 50, that is no reason to either have or not have a baby at 43 or any other age. As an example my grandmother had her last (14!) child at 45, that child had her last at 43, that child is now 12, my granny is 100 and a very involved and amazing great grandmother to my daughters who overlap with my cousins age wise. Maybe it's because irish people are more used to these overlapping generations but it's so weird when people base their choices on these what ifs...who the fuck knows?!?

Cityzen74 · 19/05/2023 14:04

I had my DS at very nearly 43. Looking back the pregnancy was fine (although I worried a lot due to earlier losses but no physical problems at all) and DS is a lively and lovely 5 year old now. Best wishes to you Flowers

AlligatorPsychopath · 19/05/2023 14:05

Stripypillow · 19/05/2023 12:08

This sounds probably a bit dramatic, but (assuming I am pregnant and all goes well) mainly I’m worried that if this DC has a baby at 43 also, I’ll be too old to be a helpful grandma! That sort of thing.

Show quote history

Um, do you not think you're getting a little bit ahead of yourself? Like, 44 years ahead of yourself? 😉

Do a test, take it from there. Incidentally, I was a "surprise" conception when my mum was 42, and she went on to conceive my healthy little sister at 44.

Original poster
Stripypillow · 19/05/2023 14:06

Oh I am really enjoying reading all of these replies!

I have told myself I will test first thing in the morning if still no period (I haven’t bought a test yet otherwise I wouldn’t have this kind of willpower!)… I feel incredibly nervous!

I will definitely report back!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Stripypillow · 19/05/2023 14:09

GreyTS · 19/05/2023 13:49

@Stripypillow This sounds probably a bit dramatic, but (assuming I am pregnant and all goes well) mainly I’m worried that if this DC has a baby at 43 also, I’ll be too old to be a helpful grandma! That sort of thing"

Mate, to be fair you could die at 50, that is no reason to either have or not have a baby at 43 or any other age. As an example my grandmother had her last (14!) child at 45, that child had her last at 43, that child is now 12, my granny is 100 and a very involved and amazing great grandmother to my daughters who overlap with my cousins age wise. Maybe it's because irish people are more used to these overlapping generations but it's so weird when people base their choices on these what ifs...who the fuck knows?!?

You’re so right!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Stripypillow · 19/05/2023 14:11

AlligatorPsychopath · 19/05/2023 14:05

Um, do you not think you're getting a little bit ahead of yourself? Like, 44 years ahead of yourself? 😉

Do a test, take it from there. Incidentally, I was a "surprise" conception when my mum was 42, and she went on to conceive my healthy little sister at 44.

Show quote history

Yep you’re right - I really am getting waaay ahead of myself!

One thing at a time: first a test!

OP posts:
Meezer2 · 19/05/2023 14:14

Shamelessly placemarking! Need to know! 💕x

MeridasMum · 19/05/2023 14:20

I had my twins at 42. Planned pregnancy but totally floored to have twins!

Remember it's more likely at your age.

I worried constantly that I'd lose one or both and really struggled with double pregnancy symptoms (sickness, in particular, was considerably worse than with previous pregnancies), but all was well and I wouldn't change any of it.

I'm older than most of their friends mums - 20-odd years older than the youngest of the mums and 5-ish years older than the next oldest, but there's such a mix of ages I don't feel DH and I stick out.

I also work hard to stay as fit as possible for them (and their children).

Good luck OP 🤞🤞

MakesMeFeelSad · 19/05/2023 14:23

I had my last at 34 so no advise there but my oldest was 18 at the time.

By the time ds4 was 4 he was an uncle. I'm 45 now and have 4 grandchildren, 2 under 2 and im in the odd position of feeling knackered when I look after them all as I still have 2 pre teens of my own 🤣

Good luck with the test , also as some people worry about age gaps there's pretty big age gaps between my ds1 &2 and again between ds2 and 3 and they all get on fantastically. It's actually ds3 &4 who are less than 2 years apart who done get on

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