Adult children and use of the shower

[Bluemuf]

DS1 22yo, employed in a good job, pays his way, does his bit around the house, good company to have around, no bother to anyone.

However, he's just spent 45 monutes in the shower. That was a "quick" one, as he needed to be at work. It can't carry on, apart from the cost, the bathroom is always wet, the condensation is causing paint to peel and woodwork to rot, despite daily use of a dehumidifier.

We live in the SE so no realistic prospect of him having his own place soon, which I know would be most people's solution, but he is otherwise a model housemate.

I've obviously tried talking to him, tried getting mad. He's always sorry and understands but then does it again next day. Mostly I can't even yell at him because I'll be at work so I dread to think how long he's in there when I'm not here.

Has anyone found a solution?

In that case sounds as if will just have to let it go. Perhaps ask him to pay for bathroom to be retiled including very efficient extractor linked to the light so have to turn it on.

@Bluemuf I'm staying in a hotel, saw this sign and thought of you. Perhaps an alarm that goes off just outside the bathroom door if there's too much water vapour, so he has to get out of the shower to turn it off? Could get old quite quickly :-D

But you don't need water running all that time Shampoo hair and rinse. Turn off water. Put conditioner on. While it works shave legs. Then turn water on again to rinse

Haha @wildfirewonder I've wondered the same! Today was 25 mins but I particularly took my time. It takes ages to get my hair thoroughly wet so that's first then deep clean with shampoo or conditioner giving it a really good scrub and wash my face at roughly the same time, rinse, condition and squish in then wash myself twice, shave legs then rinse. Legs generally then need another wash as I shave using conditioner or shaving gel which needs a rinse. Tbf the water is only on when rinsing but still longer than 4 mins I reckon. The only person who is regularly in for 4 mins is my oldest son but he's not very hygiene conscious 😆

I know we all know but don't want to say. Tell him to jerk off in his room. Be upfront about it, the embarrassment should solve it. If not tell him to find roommates to move out with

If a 22 year old needs 45 mins to jerk off he probably needs a docs appointment 😂

Tell him he can’t take his phone in the bathroom when he’s showering and see if that solves it.
I’ve got a sneaking suspicion he goes in, turns on the shower, sits on the toilet with his phone and waits for it to warm up… then 30 minutes later actually gets in the shower.

Don't schools have equipment that blocks mobile phone signals? Do something like that in the bathroom. Make sure he has no control over the signal jammer.

I mean, I know a tech solution doesn't get to the root of his behaviour, but it might make the bathroom a less appealing place for him.

It isn't unusual for me to take a 45 minute shower. I promise than I'm not watching porn or doing anything else in there other than just enjoying the hot water!

We've never experienced peeling paint in the bathroom and it's been a few years since I last painted it. We don't even have an extractor fan in there, just a small window. I realise the paint might not be your main issue but are you sure you're using appropriate bathroom paint?