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Original poster

DD's teacher - mortified

289 replies

mortifiedmomma · 06/05/2023 23:01

I know I'm in the wrong in the situation, and this will teach me a lesson; but I keep thinking about it and I'm absolutely mortified.

We had planned a small 4 day vacation or long week end from this past Friday to Monday night away with DH, DD (6), ILs and me.

DD had school on Friday but we thought we would just take her out of school that day to have an extra day to enjoy ourselves.

I told DD who was very excited, but asked her not to tell her teacher and to just tell her, at the end of the day on Thursday, that she was feeling unwell, so that we could have an excuse and tell the school she was ill the next day (I know, I know).

On Thursday, when I picked her up, her teacher asked me if she could have a quick word with me.

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow". And following the teacher's confusion, DD proceeded to explain that "we're going on holiday, and mummy doesn't want me to tell you, so she said to tell you I would be sick tomorrow".

How do I recover from this?

OP posts:
roaringwater · 06/05/2023 23:06

You don't.
But if it makes you feel better, we're pretty good at spotting strategic sicknesses.
Plus, children usually tell us where they've been when they come back.
Just don't ask your child to lie for you. School staff will judge you far more for that than for just taking her out for a couple of days.

Battlecat98 · 06/05/2023 23:07

Honestly I don't know what you were thinking asking a 6 year old to lie. I think you need to own this and be honest.

KatherineofGaunt · 06/05/2023 23:07

In all honesty, I would be amused at your daughter's candidness! But that's as far as it would have gone. I wouldn't have asked to speak to you and I wouldn't do anything other than record your daughter as absent on the register.

If it's a child with no attendance issues and no safeguarding concerns, one day off "sick" before a BH weekend wouldn't bother me.

I'd love to know what the teacher said to you about it, though. Did she just tell you what your daughter had done? Seems an odd thing to do.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds Families General education
CheezePleeze · 06/05/2023 23:08

You don't recover.

You learn (hopefully) not to force your child to lie to people.

Cakeandcoffee93 · 06/05/2023 23:08

Ahahaha come on this is cute! So what a few days of school is missed. Don’t know why they are so strict about it

PaigeMatthews · 06/05/2023 23:08

Dont have your children lie for you. What was the gain and what have you taught your child?

Honestly what was the point?

TurmoilDreams · 06/05/2023 23:09

You don't ever, ever, teach a child to lie for you. It's disgusting. Sorry for honesty. You are supposed to be the parent and teach them right from wrong, lying is wrong. End of

Itsnotmyplace · 06/05/2023 23:10

Sorry but it is kind of funny 😅. I have let my kids bunk now and then to get a long weekend. I just don't tell them anything. They have no concept of time. By the time the weekend is over they don't know if they went away on a Friday or Saturday.

Your post reminds me when my dd told Mt she can't go to school I'm the morning. I asked why she said because I'm going to be ill 😁

CheezePleeze · 06/05/2023 23:10

And you need to apologise to your child for putting in that terribly uncomfortable position.

Nimbostratus100 · 06/05/2023 23:12

dont tell your child to lie

VashtaNerada · 06/05/2023 23:14

OP, this exact situation has happened to me several times in my teaching career! 😁I’ve always turned a blind eye, I’m not sure why the teacher put you in that position. Don’t worry about it. Depending on the school you could get a fine, but so be it.

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 06/05/2023 23:18

I work in a primary school and all of our teachers would think that was hilarious and wouldn’t hold it against you at all.

Honestly, there’s never any point asking young children to lie - 1. They can’t 2. We know. 3. They always tell you what they are doing. (And 4 which I’m sure you know anyway, it’s not a great idea to encourage children to lie)
Don’t worry about the teacher though, it will be an amusing anecdote in the staff room, no more than that.

Blondey2023 · 06/05/2023 23:21

Serves you right. Encouraging your child to lie is terrible.

Rycbar · 06/05/2023 23:33

Haha. We always know - they tell us everything. We know what you’ve gone on holiday or out for the day, we know that you all went to the pub at the weekend, we even know when you’re pregnant before you tell us (if you wanted to obviously). Just learn from it, don’t make your kids lie to school because the odds are well find out.

LateOnTheBandwagon · 06/05/2023 23:36

The staffroom would be a sadder place if we didn't have daft stuff like this to laugh about. If your primary child knows, or even thinks they know, the school staff know. This doesn't just apply to sneaky days off but any and all parts of family life .... gulp.

Thequeenofwishfulthinking · 06/05/2023 23:38

I agree with others upthread that getting your child to lie is wrong. Why on earth would you think this is ok? You should have been honest with school as after the bh weekend your child will likely say you all went away anyway, I’m a teacher and they tell us alsorts, speaking freely as a child should.
I don’t understand your mentality regarding this. It’s not an example of good parenting. I’m sure your a good parent OP but I would judge you on this if I was your child’s teacher,

Annoyingwurringnoise · 06/05/2023 23:38

Meh, who cares? As long as it’s not all the time it doesn’t matter. The kids seem to have spent more time out of school than in lately, so clearly it’s fine for them to be off school when it suits.

anon12093 · 06/05/2023 23:39

Sorry op but that's really funny

PriamFarrl · 06/05/2023 23:42

Don’t get your child to lie. We can see straight through it. If it’s a one off then no one is going to be bothered.

I remember a girl who was made to lie about having had a term time holiday to Disney. She was so desperate to tell everyone but was tying herself up in knots trying to keep the lie.

Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:42

I'm surprised the teacher bothered to take you aside and tell you.

NortieTortie · 06/05/2023 23:43

I'm dying to know what you said.

Just grin and bear it. It'll be a funny story with your DC in a few years.

Flowertight · 06/05/2023 23:45

It was really really wrong asking her to lie to someone she trusted. Children need to learn they can be honest with those they trust - otherwise things like sexual abuse get hidden.

however, the teacher won’t give a fuck so don’t worry about that

EarringsandLipstick · 06/05/2023 23:45

Pineda · 06/05/2023 23:42

I'm surprised the teacher bothered to take you aside and tell you.

Me too.

I don't find it funny. That was a horrible thing to do to DD - did you really expect her to effectively feign illness with a view to being absent on Friday? It's a shit thing to do.

NoSquirrels · 06/05/2023 23:47

What do you need to recover from? Shame? Embarrassment? You’ll just learn to get over it with time. Hopefully you already apologised abjectly to the teacher so now you just carry on, as if it didn’t happen.

And next time just tell the truth.

BertyMyrtle · 06/05/2023 23:47

😂😂 this reminds me of several years ago when I got my young daughter ready for school in the morning and saw she had a couple of spots on her forehead. I flippantly said ‘it better not be chickenpox as I have to be in court today (work wise)’, and thought no more of it, thinking she had a sweat rash. Later that day I got a call saying it actually was chicken pox and my daughter had told the staff I knew and had said she had to go in as I was busy at work 🙄