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Original poster

DD's teacher - mortified

289 replies

mortifiedmomma · 06/05/2023 23:01

I know I'm in the wrong in the situation, and this will teach me a lesson; but I keep thinking about it and I'm absolutely mortified.

We had planned a small 4 day vacation or long week end from this past Friday to Monday night away with DH, DD (6), ILs and me.

DD had school on Friday but we thought we would just take her out of school that day to have an extra day to enjoy ourselves.

I told DD who was very excited, but asked her not to tell her teacher and to just tell her, at the end of the day on Thursday, that she was feeling unwell, so that we could have an excuse and tell the school she was ill the next day (I know, I know).

On Thursday, when I picked her up, her teacher asked me if she could have a quick word with me.

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow". And following the teacher's confusion, DD proceeded to explain that "we're going on holiday, and mummy doesn't want me to tell you, so she said to tell you I would be sick tomorrow".

How do I recover from this?

OP posts:
Rockbird · 07/05/2023 03:49

🤣🤣 That would highly amuse us in school. We always always know when people are going away and it does piss us off when people aren't just honest. But that's funny.

We had a fair few kids off school that Friday and, although we can't condone taking your kids out of school we really couldn't blame them for that one. Marked as unauthorised and then forgotten, for most families no big deal.

dontmakefun · 07/05/2023 04:15

And I bet you won't be happy when you have a teenager who thinks it's ok to lie to you about where they are!

Leapintothelightning · 07/05/2023 05:42

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 07/05/2023 03:47

I'd also be mortified but they've probably dealt with much worse. When my Brother was younger, he was trying to get out of PE (no reason other than purely couldn't be bothered) and begged my mum to write a note. She wrote it and he took it to school and have it to the teacher and she'd wrote something along the lines of ' Dear Mr Smith, please excuse (name) from PE today as he is a lazy shit'

Didn't ask for another note again as far as I'm away

🤣🤣🤣

I remember my mum wrote a note because I didn't want to do PE - "please excuse x from PE today, she is claiming she has a sore leg"
I remember being mortified 🤣

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VisionsOfSplendour · 07/05/2023 06:05

Why did you even get into the situation in the first place? The school can't stop you going on holiday, why didn't you tell the truth?

ohfook · 07/05/2023 06:22

Don't worry about it. I'm a teacher and every single child always tells when they're going on holiday and have been asked to either give or not tell anybody. It'll happen to her a few more times this year.

Roselilly36 · 07/05/2023 06:27

My two would have done exactly the same, they would have dropped me in it too. The worst occasion when DS2 told his teacher and the whole class that I had violent diarrhoea, couldn’t just say mum wasn’t well!

PurpleFlower1983 · 07/05/2023 06:32

This is funny! Just be honest in future, it will go down as unauthorised absence but better to be honest!

KitKatLove · 07/05/2023 06:41

It’s happened, draw a line under it and move on. You didn’t ask your child to tell some awful lie, it was harmless. Take comfort that she knew it wasn’t right and told a teacher. There’s a few holier than thou responses on here, ignore them.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 07/05/2023 06:45

Not funny.
But probably not true either, so it's all good.

On the minuscule offchance This Happened (#) then you should be mortified. You've made your daughter humiliate herself.

Sleepdeprived42long · 07/05/2023 06:45

For all you guys saying don’t lie-I take it you don’t do Santa, or the tooth fairy? Or have never made an excuse to avoid hurting someone’s feelings with the truth? Life isn’t so black and white!

OP-next time just don’t tell your child they’re going to be unwell. Beauty of kids is that they can literally be fine until they’re walking out the door for school 😜

Ginandrosemary · 07/05/2023 06:46

Teacher here- I honestly wouldn't have judged you if she'd come in on Tuesday saying she'd been away. I think holidays are so pricey and don't blame parents for needing to miss a day for a more affordable trip. Life experiences are valuable however- asking her to lie is something else. By the sounds of it, you know it's wrong. The teacher will forget about it so move on but teach your child that you were wrong to ask her to lie.

itsgettingweird · 07/05/2023 06:49

1 day is fine.

No fines for a day.

Either next time ring in on the morning and say she's not going to be in - I love the phrase "not for enough to attend today".

Or ..... if your absences are high send them in for registration in the morning and collect later in day for medical appointment. This works really well when your leaving later in day as gives you time to pack in peace without child asking "are we leaving yet" a million times an hour!

itsgettingweird · 07/05/2023 06:50

But yes. NEVER get a young child to lie. They'll throw you under a bus quite happily and innocently 🤣🤣🤣

Twiglets1 · 07/05/2023 06:59

mortifiedmomma · 06/05/2023 23:01

I know I'm in the wrong in the situation, and this will teach me a lesson; but I keep thinking about it and I'm absolutely mortified.

We had planned a small 4 day vacation or long week end from this past Friday to Monday night away with DH, DD (6), ILs and me.

DD had school on Friday but we thought we would just take her out of school that day to have an extra day to enjoy ourselves.

I told DD who was very excited, but asked her not to tell her teacher and to just tell her, at the end of the day on Thursday, that she was feeling unwell, so that we could have an excuse and tell the school she was ill the next day (I know, I know).

On Thursday, when I picked her up, her teacher asked me if she could have a quick word with me.

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow". And following the teacher's confusion, DD proceeded to explain that "we're going on holiday, and mummy doesn't want me to tell you, so she said to tell you I would be sick tomorrow".

How do I recover from this?

I'm a Teaching Assistant and honestly, we get pupils all the time who tell us (and the teacher) that they have just been to a wedding/holiday when the parents have phoned in sick for them. It's not a big deal if it's just the odd day - sometimes we even laugh about it.
And this is a secondary school! A 6 year old was never going to convincingly lie for you. I wouldn't worry about it though, just move on.

primoseyellow · 07/05/2023 07:04

I think your teacher most likely finds it quite funny, and im sure you are not the first parent to take kids out.

I would not have an issue with kids missing the odd day for a holiday. But I would never ask a child to lie like that though, I would worry about child starting to think lying is normal.

coodawoodashooda · 07/05/2023 07:06

Don't worry about it.

coodawoodashooda · 07/05/2023 07:06

You got it wrong and you know it was wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.

Dibbydoos · 07/05/2023 07:24

You have to laugh it off.

You are going on holiday and she won't be in on Friday.

Lesson learnt, out of the mouths of babes....

Karwomannghia · 07/05/2023 07:28

Happens all the time! Don’t worry about it, but lesson learned about asking kids to lie!

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/05/2023 07:30

roaringwater · 06/05/2023 23:06

You don't.
But if it makes you feel better, we're pretty good at spotting strategic sicknesses.
Plus, children usually tell us where they've been when they come back.
Just don't ask your child to lie for you. School staff will judge you far more for that than for just taking her out for a couple of days.

100% true. We can always tell. It's better to be honest and teachers themselves have no say on fines or any of that.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 07/05/2023 07:34

Lol! At a similar age , a friend of ds's was off school for a week. When he got back the teacher welcomed him back, and said she hoped he was feeling better. He replied with "Absolutely fine Miss. I've not been I'll, I've been in Spain".

Dressertv · 07/05/2023 07:48

I have friends that are teachers and they honestly don’t care if you take your kid out of school. Just don’t lie and it’s all fine.

Only time teachers do care is if you’re not an engaged parent, low attendance and the child is more on a deprived pathway. More for the effect on the child and risk of abuse etc.

TheFluffiestHobo · 07/05/2023 07:51

Same happened to me when we decided to sneak off and see Father Christmas at Eden Project. The only available date was on the last day of school before Christmas. I didn't even tell ds that he'd be missing school but he worked it out and told EVERYONE, his teacher, friends, the ta, the dinner lady, everyone! His teacher even waved us off the day before saying "enjoy meeting Father Christmas!" 🤦‍♀️

Fivemoreminutes1 · 07/05/2023 07:58

@mortifiedmomma Did you take the Friday off in the end?

rainbowstardrops · 07/05/2023 07:58

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 06/05/2023 23:18

I work in a primary school and all of our teachers would think that was hilarious and wouldn’t hold it against you at all.

Honestly, there’s never any point asking young children to lie - 1. They can’t 2. We know. 3. They always tell you what they are doing. (And 4 which I’m sure you know anyway, it’s not a great idea to encourage children to lie)
Don’t worry about the teacher though, it will be an amusing anecdote in the staff room, no more than that.

Absolutely this!!! We always have a giggle at some of the gems the kids come out with.

You really shouldn't teach your child to lie though.

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