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Original poster

DD's teacher - mortified

289 replies

mortifiedmomma · 06/05/2023 23:01

I know I'm in the wrong in the situation, and this will teach me a lesson; but I keep thinking about it and I'm absolutely mortified.

We had planned a small 4 day vacation or long week end from this past Friday to Monday night away with DH, DD (6), ILs and me.

DD had school on Friday but we thought we would just take her out of school that day to have an extra day to enjoy ourselves.

I told DD who was very excited, but asked her not to tell her teacher and to just tell her, at the end of the day on Thursday, that she was feeling unwell, so that we could have an excuse and tell the school she was ill the next day (I know, I know).

On Thursday, when I picked her up, her teacher asked me if she could have a quick word with me.

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow". And following the teacher's confusion, DD proceeded to explain that "we're going on holiday, and mummy doesn't want me to tell you, so she said to tell you I would be sick tomorrow".

How do I recover from this?

OP posts:
Lulu1919 · 07/05/2023 08:50

I'm a teacher ...we had a child who was off sick for a week ...
Came back the following week with an amazing tan
Teacher will be giggling in the staff room...it's fine
Maybe dont ask your child to fib in further though !!

Elmo230885 · 07/05/2023 08:51

I doubt school care about you taking your DD out for a day but teaching your daughter that lying is OK is out of order

PuppyMonkey · 07/05/2023 08:52

Oh blimey, all the very concerned serious people on the thread are making me Grin even more.

OP, this is a funny incident you’ll be dining out on for many years. It’s what life is all about.

And this:

' Dear Mr Smith, please excuse (name) from PE today as he is a lazy shit'

Bloody brilliant.Grin

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6 year olds Families General education
clarepetal · 07/05/2023 08:55

Oh OP I laughed out loud at this! Just learn from it. It's not fair to ask a 6 year old to lie, but I understand why you did it.
I bet you'll be surprised how many people take their kids out of school unauthorised. Daffodil I wouldn't worry.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 07/05/2023 08:56

I'm a teacher as well. And yes, it happens all the time. And no, we don't blame the children. Nor do we giggle. We just roll our eyes at the parents.
When other episodes happen, as they invariably do, we just say "well, what do you expect with parents like that".

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 07/05/2023 08:56

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lavenderlou · 07/05/2023 08:57

I teach KS1. This happens every time. Usually followed by "but I'm not supposed to tell you."

SweetSakura · 07/05/2023 08:58

Your mistake was asking DD to lie. I couldn't ask mine to lie. If we take them out of school for fun I am just upfront and tell school why

ShinyShite · 07/05/2023 08:58

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lalaloopyhead · 07/05/2023 09:01

It's embarrassing but I would just laugh it off. Next time just be truthful...DD (14, so prob could have successfully fibbed) missed a day at school for her sisters graduation...I emailed the head and said DD wouldn't be in school on X day and why and they replied back with 'have a lovely time'!

CwmYoy · 07/05/2023 09:05

Shameful to encourage a child to lie.

Emotionalsupportviper · 07/05/2023 09:08

roaringwater · 06/05/2023 23:06

You don't.
But if it makes you feel better, we're pretty good at spotting strategic sicknesses.
Plus, children usually tell us where they've been when they come back.
Just don't ask your child to lie for you. School staff will judge you far more for that than for just taking her out for a couple of days.

Just don't ask your child to lie for you. School staff will judge you far more for that than for just taking her out for a couple of days.

This.

Making a liar of your child - that's shameful, even if you can't see it.

Butchyrestingface · 07/05/2023 09:11

Fancy asking a 6 year old to lie, and expecting a different result.

Iwasafool · 07/05/2023 09:14

BertyMyrtle · 06/05/2023 23:47

😂😂 this reminds me of several years ago when I got my young daughter ready for school in the morning and saw she had a couple of spots on her forehead. I flippantly said ‘it better not be chickenpox as I have to be in court today (work wise)’, and thought no more of it, thinking she had a sweat rash. Later that day I got a call saying it actually was chicken pox and my daughter had told the staff I knew and had said she had to go in as I was busy at work 🙄

I had similar. My 6 year old had rubella, back before they were vaccinated for it, and it was rife round the school. Older one was better and back at school, Younger one was in preschool and he went off happily to school. I got a phone call at lunch time to say they had noticed he had a rash and I went to pick him up. Head was waiting for me and was really unpleasant as DS had told them I knew he had rubella. I pointed out he now had a rash but no one had noticed it for 4 hours, that was because 4 hrs ago he didn't have a rash. I got a lecture about how I had endangered unborn babies.

We changed schools a year later as I became a target and hand on heart I did not know he had rubella.

pleasehelpwi3 · 07/05/2023 09:19

This always happens. It's funny. Teacher won't hold it against you or your child. Please don't be the parent though once found out, who accuses the teacher of being aggressive towards their child for asking where they are going , and that teachers have been on strike anyway so it's one rule for them, and another for parents...

dig135 · 07/05/2023 09:22

If it makes you feel better, my friend was going through an acrimonious separation. We all went into school at the end of the year for an organised looking through their books session and her (primary school) son had documented every saga in detail in his 'what did you do at the weekend' diary. She was mortified.

We'd gone to visit friends one weekend and my son had written that in his diary followed by a (large and detailed) drawing of three adults in a bed with a child at the foot of the bed watching them. I should have said nothing but kept digging myself into a deeper hole talking about threesomes.

pictoosh · 07/05/2023 09:23

BertyMyrtle · 06/05/2023 23:47

😂😂 this reminds me of several years ago when I got my young daughter ready for school in the morning and saw she had a couple of spots on her forehead. I flippantly said ‘it better not be chickenpox as I have to be in court today (work wise)’, and thought no more of it, thinking she had a sweat rash. Later that day I got a call saying it actually was chicken pox and my daughter had told the staff I knew and had said she had to go in as I was busy at work 🙄

This btw, is hilarious! It's a read out loud to the fam one. Thanks for the laughs...nightmare for you though. How did you explain that one away?

CheeseAndOnionIsMyFav · 07/05/2023 09:27

The 'best' way to have a couple of unauthorised days without the kids saying anything is to not tell them Grin

We rarely take the children out of school anyway, but we're honest about it and would take any fine on the chin.

Rainallnight · 07/05/2023 09:28

OP If I was in your shoes, I’d just count my blessings were nearly at the end of the school year so you don’t have to feel embarrassed with this teacher for too much longer. It would have been unbearable in October!

But agree with all the PPs who said you shouldn’t have asked her to lie in the first place.

Crunchymum · 07/05/2023 09:30

Urgh, my now 10yo did this when he was in reception.

We had decided to let him have a day off as his granddad wanted to take him into London for a flypast (was VE day celebrations I think?)

He must have overheard me talking to daddy about it but he went in the next day and told his teacher / TA and half the class in show and tell that he 'was going to have a temperature tomorrow so he could go and see some planes'

Teacher and TA both took great pleasure in recounting that to me (separately!)

This was back before a temperature meant you had the plague* 😂

GhostBridezilla · 07/05/2023 09:42

You don’t tell your child when you’re leaving until Thursday after school!

BertyMyrtle · 07/05/2023 09:45

pictoosh · 07/05/2023 09:23

This btw, is hilarious! It's a read out loud to the fam one. Thanks for the laughs...nightmare for you though. How did you explain that one away?

Show quote history

I just profusely apologised and said that I’d only noticed a couple of spots and genuinely hadn’t thought it was chicken pox however even I didn’t believe myself and I was telling the truth!

slowquickstep · 07/05/2023 10:04

Don't get your child to lie. Just take her out of school for the day. She is your child not the schools.

ShinyShite · 07/05/2023 10:16

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 07/05/2023 10:00

Well obviously all countries will have legislation governing school attendance but in reality, very few schools bother about holiday absences and are only concerned with actual truancy.

In the U.K, the rules applied in some schools are draconian and divisive.

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