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Original poster

DD's teacher - mortified

289 replies

mortifiedmomma · 06/05/2023 23:01

I know I'm in the wrong in the situation, and this will teach me a lesson; but I keep thinking about it and I'm absolutely mortified.

We had planned a small 4 day vacation or long week end from this past Friday to Monday night away with DH, DD (6), ILs and me.

DD had school on Friday but we thought we would just take her out of school that day to have an extra day to enjoy ourselves.

I told DD who was very excited, but asked her not to tell her teacher and to just tell her, at the end of the day on Thursday, that she was feeling unwell, so that we could have an excuse and tell the school she was ill the next day (I know, I know).

On Thursday, when I picked her up, her teacher asked me if she could have a quick word with me.

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow". And following the teacher's confusion, DD proceeded to explain that "we're going on holiday, and mummy doesn't want me to tell you, so she said to tell you I would be sick tomorrow".

How do I recover from this?

OP posts:
OutOfMyPocket · 06/05/2023 23:52

Oh wow, asking kids to lie for you, shameful.

KittyAlfred · 06/05/2023 23:57

I can’t believe you thought a 6 year old could lie effectively!

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 06/05/2023 23:58

You don't, you just learn from it and next time just be upfront about it.

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6 year olds Families General education
AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 07/05/2023 00:00

Kid: miss I'm going on holiday.

Me: oh ,nice ,where?

Kid: can't tell you it's a secret.

GrinGrin

Jonei · 07/05/2023 00:10

That's funny 😂 I guess a lesson is learnt though.

Booklover40 · 07/05/2023 00:18

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow". And following the teacher's confusion, DD proceeded to explain that "we're going on holiday, and mummy doesn't want me to tell you, so she said to tell you I would be sick tomorrow".

🤣🤣🤣

I guess it kind of serves you right however the teacher is a right cow pulling you up on it, I bet she enjoyed that. What was her attitude like when she put it to you?

Just brazen it out op - and learn from it!

Original poster
mortifiedmomma · 07/05/2023 00:19

You guys are right. I don't know what I was thinking. I will apologise to DD.

OP posts:
Original poster
mortifiedmomma · 07/05/2023 00:24

Booklover40 · 07/05/2023 00:18

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow". And following the teacher's confusion, DD proceeded to explain that "we're going on holiday, and mummy doesn't want me to tell you, so she said to tell you I would be sick tomorrow".

🤣🤣🤣

I guess it kind of serves you right however the teacher is a right cow pulling you up on it, I bet she enjoyed that. What was her attitude like when she put it to you?

Just brazen it out op - and learn from it!

Her teacher basically said that my DD's explanation raised concerns about the truthfulness of the situation and the communication between me and the school and that when the school receives conflicting information or suspect that a kid may be missing school for reasons other than illness, she has a responsibility to follow up.

There was no fine.

The teacher did laugh it off in the end.
I can't even remember what I said, I just mumbled and then profusely apologised. Which makes me feel worse.

OP posts:
OutDamnedSpot · 07/05/2023 00:24

I guess the important question is why you felt the need to lie? Just tell the truth; she’ll be marked as ‘unauthorised absence’ for one day. Nothing bad will happen as a result of that (so long as her attendance is usually good).

CheezePleeze · 07/05/2023 00:28

Why is the teacher a 'right cow' for questioning the OP's lies?

Original poster
mortifiedmomma · 07/05/2023 00:28

OutDamnedSpot · 07/05/2023 00:24

I guess the important question is why you felt the need to lie? Just tell the truth; she’ll be marked as ‘unauthorised absence’ for one day. Nothing bad will happen as a result of that (so long as her attendance is usually good).

You're absolutely right. TBH I just thought "going on holidays" wasn't a good enough excuse. Will teach me right

OP posts:
ClairDeLaLune · 07/05/2023 00:32

Great lesson to teach your kid OP. Encouraging her to lie is awful. Hope she now starts lying to you. And that you get fined.

LaffTaff · 07/05/2023 00:38

DD told her "she would be sick tomorrow".

🤣🤣🤣

Bless her, what a wee dote she sounds. Laugh about it, then forget about it, and have a brilliant holiday.

Moveoverdarlin · 07/05/2023 00:46

Parents must think teachers were born yesterday. Even if she hadn’t have said anything, taking a Friday off before a bank hol weekend is pretty obvious.

An absolute twat of a mother at my child’s school is taking her child out of school for 3 extra days when it’s the half term at the end of May - rather than just own it, she’s planning on saying her child is ill. A) The teachers aren’t stupid and B) Saying your DC is unwell when they’re not is tempting fate IMO.

Mum1976Mum · 07/05/2023 00:47

Honestly, I’m a teacher and they do tell us everything. I properly know more about the families in my class than anyone. They tell us about family arguments, daddy farting all sorts. My most cringy moment was when I got a robo vacuum and lovingly called him ‘Dirty Derek’. My 5 year old told the music teacher that mummy loved Dirty Derek more than Daddy. I nearly died when he (my child) told me.

wildfirewonder · 07/05/2023 00:47

Oh don't worry about it, but I agree it was a bad idea to ask a 6yo to lie, both because they can't and it's a bad message.

The fine threat is too much, it has messed up the normal way of things. But unfortunately it is what it is, so you just have to take it on the chin and tell school the truth. It is rare/unlikely to get fined for a day.

DancingQueen2019 · 07/05/2023 00:52

Yeah no I have a child in reception and of course he's had one or two "sick days" where we have gone away but tbh I've either a) been honest if it's a weekend away (fri-mon) or if its a Friday sick day then I'll just say he's sick
By the Monday he will be wittering on about the weekend and forget about the Friday.

There's no need to tell your child who is 6 to pretend to be ill at the end of a day! Tummy bugs come on during the night and all of a sudden?

Pussycatbeen · 07/05/2023 00:58

I'm good at lying on the spot, as I learned in childhood through similar scenarios. So I would have said to the teacher something like, "oh no — what a mix up! DD looked a bit peaky this morning but I said she had to come to school today and if she was still feeling ill she could tell you and I'd keep her home tomorrow."

But what's done is done so perhaps just see it as a learning experience and a funny story to tell your DD in the future!

dropthevipers · 07/05/2023 02:10

your script is as follows-"It's a fair cop guv, you got me bang to rights and no mistake." You then write a bunch of grovelling apology letters blaming it on the cat, or something.

snitzelvoncrumb · 07/05/2023 02:15

It’s funny. This probably happens all the time.

Timetochangetheoil · 07/05/2023 02:17

This reminds me of when I was little, one of my mum’s friends was a smoker whose parents didn’t know (she would’ve been late thirties or so at the time). She told her daughter that Granny was coming to visit and “Remember, Mummy DOESN’T smoke.”

Granny arrives and little girl skips up to her and her first words are “Hello Granny! Mummy doesn’t smoke!” 🤣 Complete give away!

SinnerBoy · 07/05/2023 02:47

I've no sympathy, you shouldn't have made her lie and you should have filled a form in, requesting a day off.

Topseyt123 · 07/05/2023 03:08

You don't recover from it. You learn your lesson and move on.

Trying to get a 6 year old to lie for you was:

a) very poor parenting and gives the wrong message

and

b) doomed to failure from the start. It was always going to end similarly to this.

Mine could never have kept any secrets at that age. If they were going to a birthday party I even had to keep secret from them what I had bought as the present. If I didn't then they'd just blurt it out when handing it over.

MelchiorsMistress · 07/05/2023 03:39

This happens all the time. At least you know you got caught out. There are plenty of parents completely unaware that their children have grassed them up to school because the staff have just let it go for the sake of not creating a drama.

Hopefully other parents will take it on board and stop asking their children to lie to people they are supposed to respect. It’s a horrible, selfish position to put a child in.

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 07/05/2023 03:47

I'd also be mortified but they've probably dealt with much worse. When my Brother was younger, he was trying to get out of PE (no reason other than purely couldn't be bothered) and begged my mum to write a note. She wrote it and he took it to school and have it to the teacher and she'd wrote something along the lines of ' Dear Mr Smith, please excuse (name) from PE today as he is a lazy shit'

Didn't ask for another note again as far as I'm away

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