How much do children actually cost?

[Woodstocks]

Hello all, this is my first post on Mumsnet after reading along for a while. There have been lots of threads recently about cost of living and CMS and a lot of people claim that “CMS is categorically not enough to raise kids on”. I don’t have kids yet but am planning, so completely out of curiosity about what kind of cost is coming my way, how much do your children actually cost per month? I imagine it varies massively by age of the child but they can’t be that expensive surely? My sister for example receives £400 for two kids, plus gets the child benefit from government which I guess would cover all their food and extra uplift for electric, laundry, clothes, petrol for school runs etc. it worries me that people say CMS wouldn’t even cover the dads half of costs- what about kids is so expensive?

If you have no children, why is CMS worrying you? Seems like a pointless exercise.
And "can't be that much surely" is naive and goady.

Single person - one bed flat
single person, two teens - three bed flat

I think some of it is indirect costs. Like having to find more flexible work to cover holidays etc. I work term time only for this reason which obviously is much lower pay. Even as it is we pay £100 a week in wraparound care. We need a bedroom per child (boy and girl so they do need their own rooms really) and we wanted them to go to a decent school where houses are more expensive. I couldn't put a price on it, but I imagine we would be extremely well off if we were childless! But we are very glad we aren't.

Regular dentist appointments (really hard to get on nhs lists these days), swimming lessons, childcare is £50-£60 a day, holiday club, birthday parties, gifts for their friends when they go to birthday parties, diet specific foods such as non dairy, medical items that you don’t get on prescription such as calpol or for the skin, child proofing items for the house.

Nursery is £80 a day around me. If you went back full time that's £1600 a month... I'd say that's very expensive!

All the baby stuff costs quite a lot. Day trips are expensive now.

It doesn’t worry me, I was just referencing people saying it’s never enough and I was trying to judge from the sums being mentioned, what I should plan for? Why is it goady to say that I don’t know why they cost a lot? They eat food but apart from that surely if I heat the house or turn the tv on for two people, it doesn’t cost more to have an extra child sat in the room? I am honestly looking for experiences and insights I might not have considered yet

You don't seriously think the only cost of a child is the extra food????

Ah 😑 five replies in and I have clearly already missed lots of stuff. Didn’t clock the birthdays and friends birthdays or swimming or medication at ALL…

Well childcare is the most obvious one, you don't need to have kids to know that you need childcare or you won't be able to hold down a job.

They grow constantly, we went up a shoe size every month for a while. Loads of washing. There are tons of costs

Mine cost me my entire salary - one is disabled so I can’t work. That’s the massive cost to us. For others it’ll be nursery or childcare.

We needed a bigger house, so bigger mortgage. We bought a bigger car than we otherwise would, so there’s that. Plus they eat about two thirds of an adult amount each, use probably the same amount of water if not more and waste stupid amounts of electricity on leaving consoles on. They need clothes constantly, toys, shoes, more shoes, school uniform and gear and trips, lots of school “bring in a pounds”, they want to do activities which cost, they cost for entries etc on days out, they have endless birthday parties to go to, their own birthday parties, their Christmas presents, equipment that starts as baby seats and cots and prams and turns into helmets for scooters and bikes and craft materials and electronics…

I’ve never added up what they cost because I just don’t want to know.

They’re priceless though.

They are free. It's the running and maintenance that adds up.

No of course I know there’s more than food. Top of my head I have food, clothes, school items and materials, petrol for school runs, activities and hobbies, books toys and crafts stuff etc. did not contemplate the surrounding stuff though such as moving to more expensive area for better schools etc though

My DD is 10, me and my ex split costs 50/50 directly relating to her. An expensive month is around £150 each when we have trips, extra uniform etc to pay for. Usually it's around £70 each.

But I don't keep a running tally and have a great career so don't rely on anyone to pay my mortgage, bills etc. I do think some people on here do expect hundreds every month and I'm not sure why.

this is fully Caveated that I use limited wrap around care and no holiday cover needed as my ex is retired and has her lots.

My daughter just for basic costs -

Around £10 per week on milk approx £5 on nappies and wipes approx £15 on fruit pouches etc £80 childcare that isn't even considering clothes, extra activities clothes etc so £110 per week before we even start and we get no benefits.

You're funding a whole person, an entire life. They have hobbies and interests, friends and needs and wants just like we do.

Honestly we are pretty frugal and fortunate enough to be financially pretty stable but I am surprised by how things add up.

Issue with CMS really is that it's fixed to their income and not representative at all of how much things actually cost, whereas for a resident parent if they need x, y and z they have to find the money somehow or invariably be the one to deal with them missing out.

I'm pregnant, and taking the "la la la not listening approach".

For now, I'm focusing on the fact that we're going to save a lot on holidays for the first couple of years, as we go away a lot, and we're looking forward to a holiday simply being a week off work.

Childcare is the most expensive bit.

£50-60 per day for nursery between 12 months and when they start school can be a huge hit. Government funding doesn’t make much of a dent.

Wrap around care is about £14 a day in my area for 8-6pm.

School holiday childcare is costing me about £27 a day this summer for primary aged child.

The first year is pretty expensive, kitting out a nursery with cot and wardrobe, baby monitor, then the pram, sets of clothes every couple of months as they grow so quickly, one off purchases to make life easier like a Moses basket, bouncer, jumperoo, breast feeding kit, first pair of shoes etc. Then the odd desperation purchases like a sling or side by side cot because they Just Won’t Sleep!

Kitting out a kid’s room as they grow too - toddler bed or big bed, a desk to do homework.

The experiences you might want to give them - books, bike, computer/tablet, activities/classes like karate, swimming, dancing, whatever. School trips are cheap until they start going on residentials. Trips eg to petting farm, theme parks

Then they grow so need a new bike, bigger clothes, a new coat as they’ve lost one at school….

School uniform… In primary I’ve paid maybe £200 a year. (2 pairs of school shoes a year as they get wrecked, logo school jumpers, supermarket trousers/skirts/shirts, logo PE kit). High school will cost more as bigger bodies need bigger clothes/shoes.

Saving for their future as much as you’re able… university, car, driving lessons, house deposit.

Birthdays and Christmas - a party out somewhere can cost about £200.

Fundamentally OP the trouble is CMS isn’t calculated on the basis of what a child costs, for even a basic standard of living. It’s based on income, and takes account of eg other children. So you can absolutely raise kids on some people’s level of CMS, but not on the bloody ridiculous £5 a week type figures CMS calculates in some situations.

I’d forgotten about the nappies and wipes! Big add on to a usual grocery bill. And formula if breastfeeding doesn’t go to plan. That was about £8 per box per week when my boy was tiny, must be more now.

Babies don't cost (that) much initially especially if you have a good maternity pay package and breastfeeding and have a second hand items stream (eg slightly older cousin etc - we have a nice neighbour with older kids who essentially emptied her garage out into ours! Literally everything from clothes to jumparoo)

But then when you go back to work, BAM. Nursery is well over 1k per month for us for 3.5 days a week. I've dropped a day at work so immediate, significant pay cut.

When they are young then childcare is the biggest cost. Once they start school you have: uniform, clothes, shoes, hobbies, driving them to hobbies/friends, birthday parties + presents and everything starts rising in price.
Starting some form of savings for your child from birth.
Teens are the most expensive age due to gadgets, phones, clothes, friends, hobbies, driving lessons, car etc
Then you have to start budgeting for Uni as the government expects parents to contribute.

Best not to think of it all really.

DH works 4 days a week and me 4.5, just those 1.5 days we could have worked cost us as a couple something like 700 pounds per month. Then you have af

By the time they are teens (if not sooner) they are eating adult quantities of food and need adult size clothes and shoes, things like swimming lessons and other hobbies are expensive, they need computers, phones, their own rooms on holidays, putting them through university can cost a fortune unless you are on a low income. Not to mention all the childcare until secondary school unless one parent gives up work, either way a huge hit on finances.