How much do children actually cost?

[Woodstocks]

Hello all, this is my first post on Mumsnet after reading along for a while. There have been lots of threads recently about cost of living and CMS and a lot of people claim that “CMS is categorically not enough to raise kids on”. I don’t have kids yet but am planning, so completely out of curiosity about what kind of cost is coming my way, how much do your children actually cost per month? I imagine it varies massively by age of the child but they can’t be that expensive surely? My sister for example receives £400 for two kids, plus gets the child benefit from government which I guess would cover all their food and extra uplift for electric, laundry, clothes, petrol for school runs etc. it worries me that people say CMS wouldn’t even cover the dads half of costs- what about kids is so expensive?

*darn accidentally posted.

After school club alone is 300 a month. So 1000 quid a month and then my daughter hasn't eaten anything, no clothes or other supplies. Children aren't cheap!

Having a child means the heating needs to be on more. You use much more water(baths,clothes, washing). Electric is higher. You move to a new place your mortgage/rent is higher.
Your food bill is higher. In the baby stage it’s the cost of nappies and pushchair, car seat, cot. They get bigger it’s a bed, the clothes that need replacing fairly regularly. Shoes that last a few months. Toys,books, bikes, school aids.

the days out to entertain them. Cost of school trips, childcare. Cleaning products.

It’s everything really. My salary was a lot lower than it is now before baby. Now I have more but feel like I’m scraping the barrel. My son is only 3 but once he starts school it will be trips, clubs. Everything!

Are you totally naïve?

We had lots of unexpected costs ... DS was born with a medical condition that needed hospital treatment (thankfully made a full recovery) but just things like petrol to get to a specialist hospital, overnight accommodation (only one parent allowed to stay overnight in the hospital), food and other expenses whilst he was in hospital, additional expenses when he was rushed back due to getting an infection ... being able to 'afford' to take time off work at extremely short notice ... I know that's an isolated experience but you need to factor in the possibility... and all that before he was 8 months old.

All the costs mentioned in previous posts .. plus then you get into the expenses involved with school ... most parents want their DC to have the best possible experience so that includes school trips, sports kit, maybe musical instrument ... then you get into needing (possibly) extra tuition costs to get through exams ... then it's Uni contributions. Our DS is now 22 and from next month our expenses finally go down when he (hopefully) graduates .

It's one of those 'how long is a piece of string' questions. You can buy everything brand new, or get things second hand. Some people spend a grand on a pram, some people spend much less on a second hand one. Some may just buy a sling. Baby does need somewhere to sleep, clothes and bedding, a car seat, high chair. Breastfeeding is free but you might need to buy a few new items of clothes to make it easier. Formula and bottles are an oncoming cost. Nappies, wipes, changing mat. Money to furnish a nursery/bedroom. You will take a massive financial bit on mat leave. Some people stay off longer or go part time for the first few years. Otherwise you pay a fortune on nursery costs.

Children grow very quickly so need new clothes and shoes a lot for each season. Children's activities can cost a lot. Toys and books, days out, enriching experiences, holidays, birthdays and Christmases. When they start school there seems to be a birthday party to attend every other week so you have to buy a gift for those. If you want a night off you need to pay a baby sitter. You to out as a family and lay extra for each child. School uniforms, swimming lessons, dance classes, football kits etc etc.

There is going to be a wide variation on what different families spend but there is certainly more than just an extra mouth to feed.

OP I think you've had some silly responses and some good ones but I have one young child.

For a newborn up to about 1 year old you're paying for (off the top of my head) clothes every month or so, nappies, wipes, a pram, a cot, a car seat, a white noise machine, a play gym.

At about a year you're buying clothes less often but possibly more toys and books, a new car seat, probably a pushchair (as the travel systems most people get for a newborn are great but not that practical for putting in the car), shoes...

I wouldn't say they're that expensive, in that, obviously a lot of people manage on various incomes.

If you need childcare then that's often the biggest expense - easily £1250+ for full time nursery.

A fortune.

My kids (upper primary age, not babies) each cost me per month: £150 food, £200 wraparound childcare, £30 swimming lessons, which pretty much hits £400 PER CHILD with just the bare minimum costs (I know not everyone would count swimming lessons as essential, but living where we do, it's essential to me)

Direct extras: clothes, school uniform, shoes, haircuts, dentist, Christmas, birthdays (their own, and also buying presents for friends' parties), activities, days out, occasional treats. Anything from £100-500 per child depending on the month.

Indirect extras: bigger car, more petrol, higher energy costs (I would put up with the house being even colder if it were just me) bigger mortgage (although technically this is an investment I suppose)

I forgot to mention milk / food of course!

Housing is obviously the biggest cost. If there's just you or you and partner, a one bed flat is enough. If you have two kids opposite sex then at the minimum you're going to need three beds - which probably means a house.

So what's the price differential where you live between a one bed flat and a three bed house? That's a cost. Plus full time childcare/or the cost to your career working part time or not at all.

I'm guessing hundreds of thousands.

Do you work OP? A lot of mothers give up work when they have a baby. Or they go part-time. So they lose their entire salary or a portion of it. If they continue working, they have to factor in the cost of childcare.

Then there's the cost of food, nappies, clothes etc. Not so much if you just have a tiny baby and you're breastfeeding. But if you have five children and three of them are teenagers, you'll be spending quite a bit on food, clothes, shoes etc. Your electricity costs will be significantly higher due to six/seven people taking showers and washing/drying clothes for six/seven people. If you want to take them on days out, sign them up to clubs or classes, take them on holidays etc., those costs quickly mount up.

When they hit their late teens, you'll have to consider costs like driving lessons, maybe buying them a small car or insuring them on your own car. And helping them out with their living costs if they move away for university.

Swimming lessons £50 per month per child, football subs, gymnastics lessons , days out - you are paying 4x the cost of tickets. A trip to the theatre can cost us £300 as a family of four. Holidays are probably 3-4 times the cost of a child less couple (paying for the child’s place plus the extra to go in the school holidays)

Music lessons- £17.50 per week, drama lesson- £6.50 per week (joint lesson), sport lesson £10
per week, snacks at school £10 per week on top of pack ups, laptop/textbooks/iPhone etc for secondary school (state) at least £500 and that’s second hand, school trips about a grand a year. Mine likes a charity shop and Vinted but others want fancy trainers and tracksuits (skys the limit). Adult shoes by age 10. Adult clothes by age 12 unless yours is tiny. Adult food portions by about 8. Extra rooms for holidays. Bedroom each unless you want loads of arguments. Travel costs- larger car, fuel for all the taxiing, bus passes, season ticket depending on where you live. Private school fees if the state options are shit and/or house prices if you move to a better catchment area. Babies are cheap, toddlers upwards are not!

Monthly
Full time nursery for 2 yr old - £1100
breakfast & after school club for 8 yr old: £550
swimming lesson £45
gymnastics £40
new clothes/uniform/ shoes (there’s always something): £50ish
socialising with friends (softplay, zoo, other): £30
music lesson: £40
school dinners for elder: £75

so that’s approx £1950 before you factor in finding work that will allow flexibility for ill health or pick ups, added bedrooms on your living accommodation, and semi-optional extras like toys etc.

For us it was the loss of a salary or childcare x 3.

Their clothes and food and entertainment can be done cheaply.

My eldest is 3 but absolutely so far it’s childcare / going part time. Even at school next year the wrap around care and holiday clubs will cost thousands still.
The rest so far is pretty discretionary - breastfeeding and a mix of cloth nappies and cheap Tesco ones. Clothes this time I have from before.
I’m going to go back to work after mat leave 3 days a week, which will be a 1k/ month drop compared to full time, £800 on nursery fees for DS (after the tax free childcare), £200 wrap around care for DD plus holiday clubs…

It varies a bit age to age but the big costs are childcare and housing a child.

So where you could get away with a studio or one bed flat for just you, really you need a two bed place for you and a child, who will be a teen very quickly.

The food/toileteries cost added about 20% to the bills when little and then by teens they double the costs.

Little children are easier to clothe second hand and there toys are easy to get second hand. Wheras teens have expensive school uniforms and more likely to have hobbies that cost..

Oh I forgot the music lessons- £70 a term.
Haircuts, dentist, kids party presents, books, supplies to help with homework etc, new bikes, scooters etc. Yes not everything I’ve listed is essential but you do have to entertain kids. And not everything is free. Even going to a national trust place a round of ice creams and the odd drink can come to over £20.
Kids clubs in the holidays on my working days if family can’t cover.

Lack of income while on maternity care is a big expense.

DS born 2008.

2008 - loss of earnings = -£36k cash + child benefit £1k
2009 - made redundant on return to work = -£36k cash + child benefit £1k
2010 - child care = -£9,000 + child benefit £1k
2011 - child care = -£9,000 + child benefit £1k
2012 - wrap around care -£1950+child benefit £1k
2013 - wrap around care -£1950+child benefit £1k
2014 - wrap around care -£1950+child benefit £1k
2015 - wrap around care -£1950+child benefit £1k
2016 - wrap around care -£1950+child benefit £1k
2017 - wrap around care -£1950+child benefit £1k
2018 - wrap around care -£1950+child benefit £1k

Cost £92,650 to the end of primary school, excluding clothes, shoes, toys, books, outings & leisure, and an extra bedroom.

So starting in 2008, basically it cost me £100k to get ds to the end of primary school, in market town, south. I dread to think what it would cost today and in a big city..

All the above, plus the things in the house wear out much quicker. We need to repaint because they keep getting dirty hand marks on the walls (adults just wouldn't feel the need to drag their hands on the wall up the stairs!)... carpet stains that are hard to get out. Window trim for some reason they felt looked tempting to pull off. Stamper from a party bag on the walls in another room needs a repaint. accidents from potty training. endless wash loads for wet sheets. school shoes inexplicably wrecked at the toes within months. hats and gloves and water bottles lost at school all the time. Going part time at work when I went back was the biggest hit though.

childcare cost me just over £10,000 a year in nursery fees, Only ever received a very small contribution from UC, also the free hours is taken into account with this cost. So in total will cost me just shy of £80,000 , around £40,000 for each child, I have 2, before they start school.

I am aware other parents will be paying a hell of a lot more

then when they get to school, uniform , after school clubs, wrap around childcare as well, normal everyday clothes, omg the list is endless lol

We do loads of shit that we wouldn’t do if we didn’t have kids. Visits to stately homes, farms, theme parks, soft play, theatre visits and pantos, going to kid friendly places like Center Parcs that cost a fortune. Gymnastics, football, etc. A Santa experience that costs £50 or a Winter Wonderland day that costs £100. Not to mention we can only take holidays during the school holidays when prices are sky high.

Then there’s the stuff that pp have mentioned. The insane cost of childcare which exceeds some people’s salaries. Constant clothes, toys, birthday parties at a tenner a pop. Putting the heating on, especially for a baby. Stupidly expensive food because your kid won’t eat 20p apples so you have to pay three quid a pop for raspberries in order to get some Vit C into them. A bigger house, higher bills. Then when they get older it’s tuition, financial help with university, deposit for a house, etc.

You can raise a child very cheaply if you buy them nothing, take them nowhere, and do very little with them. Your main cost will be childcare. But I was raised like that and frankly it’s shit, your life isn’t worth living until you’re old enough to earn money to pay for your own stuff and things you want to do.

I have teenagers this week:

Ds :

uni loan top up £100

Meal out when we meet up £35

Helping him out with a rail fare £20

So £155

DD:

Shoes for prom £120

Train ticket for school £35

Pocket money/ lunch money £40

Total £195

Together this week £345
That's just the up front costs doesn't include utilities or food for Dd.

Several posters have said this but childcare is a big one. You are looking at a bill of £900-1400/month until they start school. Fancy a date night? Add £10/hour for babysitting...

Constantly need clothes (Vinted hand me downs etc is great though but still a cost) - plus it's not just the food but cooking it. My LO will ask for something different than we eat, so might have the oven on for them but not always us. Hard to plan.

Want 3? New house, new car

Baby stuff (cot etc) £300
Nappies and milk £20 per week for a year then £10 a week after 1.
Clothes £150 per year
Childcare £1000 pcm if full time from ages 1-3 (mat leave 0-1, then free hours from 3).

School uniform £50 per year primary, £300 per year secondary

Clubs and classes £50pcm (eg swimming football)

School meals £2.50 per meal from year 3 onwards

School trips £50 pa in primary, £300 per residential (1 at primary). £900 secondary ski trip.

Birthdays and Christmas, £50 each when under about 8. More when older.