How much do children actually cost?

[Woodstocks]

Hello all, this is my first post on Mumsnet after reading along for a while. There have been lots of threads recently about cost of living and CMS and a lot of people claim that “CMS is categorically not enough to raise kids on”. I don’t have kids yet but am planning, so completely out of curiosity about what kind of cost is coming my way, how much do your children actually cost per month? I imagine it varies massively by age of the child but they can’t be that expensive surely? My sister for example receives £400 for two kids, plus gets the child benefit from government which I guess would cover all their food and extra uplift for electric, laundry, clothes, petrol for school runs etc. it worries me that people say CMS wouldn’t even cover the dads half of costs- what about kids is so expensive?

It really depends on how you chose to raise them 🤷‍♀️ If you breastfeed, use supermarket nappies and wipes, stay home with them, only do cheap or free activities and get all of their clothes second hand then it can be pretty low cost

On the other hand if you formula feed, use pampers or Huggies nappies and wipes, need to pay for daily childcare, want to do all the expensive classes and activities and buy all new clothes ect. Then it will definitely add up 🤔

Even most of this isn't remotely hard and fast. Staying at home is only the cheaper option if you wouldn't earn more than childcare and any other work costs. There are women on here who reckon they spent more breastfeeding than they would've with formula, whereas if you take to it really quickly, don't need stuff for pumping etc and do it for eons it may well cost less. Baby clothes have a resale value, so you might well redeem a lot of the costs of new.

As you say, it really depends. So very hard to generalise.

Babies and toddlers don't cost much imo other than childcare if you need it. I mean, they can if you choose to spend £2k on a pram and £££ on special classes and designer clothes etc but none of that is necessary.

Babies and toddlers have no desires other than being fed, clean and having their favourite face staring back at them. They don't care about what they wear, whether they go to special activities or on holidays, it makes no difference to their 'outcome' iyswim. But if you so go somewhere, free entry often anyway. I never felt any stress or 'obligation' to spend money on mine when they were small.

Older dc are a whole different matter though. They need adult sized clothes and shoes, my teen boys eat far more than me, there are school trips, they need tech (laptop and decent smartphone for comp). Then not essentials but things like extra curriculars, tutoring if you need/want it.

We pay for 4 adults and a child for every meal, every flight, every holiday, every theme park or zoo entry. It's never ending.

its childcare , school spends , scooters, bikes , days out , clothes , sunscreen , memberships, hobbies , iphones , ipads , ipods, MULTIPLE bicycles. PCs, Laptop . ISA for first car . Uni savings . Nike , adidas hoping this will facilitate from about 9-13 years before they really want designer.

The lists of ipads, iPhone, ipod, designer gear just blows my mind to be honest.
DD has my 2nd hand Android phone, a generic device and no designer gear. We rent the laptop from school for a yearly fee as you get their IT support and school level firewalls etc.
Kids don't NEED top of the range for everything at all.

Actually if you cut the fake "I need to work" act and look after your own children, the first few years are surprisingly low cost. Especially if you breastfeed and buy own brand nappies.

They cost all of your money, however much that is.

Are bills and mortgages fake too to go with the fake need?

Ffs.

Actually if you cut the fake "I need to work" act and look after your own children, the first few years are surprisingly low cost. Especially if you breastfeed and buy own brand nappies
This make no sense.

Surely some people need to work to pay bills! It’s really hard to survive as a family on a single salary even if on decent money. I gave up work after my second as it made no sense with childcare costs etc. Then I got divorced further down to the line and the impact on my pension/ earning power has been immense.

I think you have to consider the impact of opportunity cost for SAHP

I reckon the sweet spot is around 4/5 to 8. At school so childcare drastically reduced (but have to save for holidays) and you can still fob them off with free days out to the park and stuff plus they go free or cheap on most public transport.

The rest of the time they cost a fortune one way or another.

Are you a troll?

There's a school of thought that mothers parents choose to work because they want to /go on holiday/fancy cars/big houses etc .rather than staying home with their children. So purely for vanity/superficial reasons.

The fact that plenty of families with two working adults still need to use food banks for example completely passed them by.

£15 on fruit pouches for a week that's insane buy a bag of pears bag off apples peel then boil and mush them up, banana mush up alot cheaper than them Pouches.

I've just now transferred a four figure sum to pay for the summer terms dance lessons for my girls. 🫣

The irony is, I wouldn't dream of doing my own activity that costs £100 per week.

So, I would add to the poster way up thread who detailed that you're funding an entire humane life and everything they do in it; and say, but more because you'll buy them things, you wouldn't buy yourself.

It’s not just the financial cost @Woodstocks … they also drain the life out of you 🤣 the cost to my body has been high 🙈

@arethereanyleftatall how many kids and how much dance is that?!

Not even that many @Rolloisthebestpony !!

2 kids - tap, ballet, jazz, lyrical, musical theatre each.

£10 per class, so £100 per week, 13 week term, £1300.

And that's group classes. Many of their friends do private lessons (£30 a pop) and then the costumes and entrance fees for events are staggering.

No just someone who points out facts. Let's be honest now. Very few jobs makes the high cost of childcare worth it.

On my DC primary school report they are marked on how they are able to use an iPad.

They have been using them since reception and it’s expected they have them.

(my mind was blown too)

@Betterbear if you are in the position where most of you income (collectively) is swallowed by childcare then you get child tax credits or UC the former covers 70% of it and the latter is more generous covering up to 85% of it. Then there is tax free childcare.

If you earn so much that you are not entitled to any of this then you are probably wealthy enough to handle childcare and still have a good wage.

Many people do need to work to pay bills, to save for their children’s future or upcoming costs associated with the child/ren. Or most importantly for their own sense of self worth and sanity it may be crucial. Not to mention that it can be difficult to get back into the work place after a prolonged break and the career may be pretty damaged by that point.

Can't afford childcare, can't afford to stop working. 🤷‍♀️ Luckily I qualify for benefit top ups and do a couple of shifts a week. Can't really afford to do without that wage. It isn't fake.

My point precisely! You are on benefits! which means you are costing the tax payer more than your contributing. You would be just as well to look after your own children. But this is the absurdity of the benefits system, that forces professionals to take years off from their careers, because they don't get handouts, whilst encouraging non professionals to go back to works because they get free money and help towards childcare.

We pay £2302 a month in nursery fees for a 5 month old. It's worth it because we're thinking about the long term such as career development, pensions etc and the fact that nursery fees aren't forever.

It isn't all about finances either, I also work because I love my career and I don't want to give it up or take out several years and not continue at the level I'm currently at.

@Betterbear seriously, get a life!