How much do children actually cost?

[Woodstocks]

Hello all, this is my first post on Mumsnet after reading along for a while. There have been lots of threads recently about cost of living and CMS and a lot of people claim that “CMS is categorically not enough to raise kids on”. I don’t have kids yet but am planning, so completely out of curiosity about what kind of cost is coming my way, how much do your children actually cost per month? I imagine it varies massively by age of the child but they can’t be that expensive surely? My sister for example receives £400 for two kids, plus gets the child benefit from government which I guess would cover all their food and extra uplift for electric, laundry, clothes, petrol for school runs etc. it worries me that people say CMS wouldn’t even cover the dads half of costs- what about kids is so expensive?

Childcare is the biggest factor. It has cost me my career progression and future earning potential. And it's cost the future me in reduced pension contributions, too. Expenses that are often overlooked.

Then there is the increased utility bills and housing capacity. We are considering moving as we can't work out how to create an extra bedroom in our current home - so that will cost stamp duty and fees for agents surveys and moving, storage etc and higher mortgage repayments.

Furniture and equipment needed for children. Baby equipment is pricey!

Regular ongoing costs e.g. hobbies and activities, Christmas and birthday gifts etc etc.

Clothes, food - these are probably the last things on the list when costing out children!

Two secondary aged DC here, so no child care.

Higher utility bills, higher food costs. I have an underweight, fussy child I have to encourage to eat.

Two sets of uniform, including school shoes, bags and trainers is easily £300 every August.
And those £55 school shoes you buy, they either will fall apart two terms in, or the DC grow out of them.
School bus £25/week for 2 DC.
Annual new clothes/shoes/underwear. Once they hit teens they are adult sized, so adult prices. And fussy.

Dentist, optician, glasses/contacts. Hair cuts.

Clubs, phone contracts, allowances - and I am stingy because I don't earn huge amounts.

Electrical device repairs, school trips, socialising with friends, swimming for pleasure, taxiing them around.

Initial outlay for phones, chrome books, tablets. If they like gaming then that can get expensive too.

Saving for foreseeable expenses:
Driving lessons, birthdays & birthday parties, holidays, university.

Plus, additional redecorating or cleaning costs from grubby mits/spillages!

It feels never ending, and I do as much as I can on the cheap! (Second hand uniform, hand me downs, charity shop for bits, taught myself to cut hair etc, etc.)

Primary school aged child, SE London (so cheap for London but still expensive, as London).
After school wrap around: £15 daily;
Breakfast club: £7 daily;
School music lessons and orchestra club: £160 a term (one instrument);
Gymnastics club (outside school): £20 pw;
Toys / books / home study materials / craft materials / gifts for friends parties / birthday parties for your child / Christmas presents / presents from Santa: £££!
School trip: £240 this year, been told min £300 next year, secondary school friends say it’s at least £1k pa for ONE school trip a year PER CHILD;
Catchment of decent school: about £200k premium, plus more than one bedroom is needed, so need a bigger house/flat;
Food - a 9-10 y/o eats as much as a small adult, and mine needs special foods for allergies, so more expensive than food for me;
They lose stuff ALL THE TIME, so a new water bottle every couple of weeks etc.;
Plus all new clothes and shoes 3-4 times a year, can’t keep last years winter clothes as they’ll be too small, so a whole new wardrobe every summer and winter plus every growth spurt.
And it’s still cheaper than when they were at nursery and using umpteen million nappies a day…

The actual stuff you buy directly for them isn't expensive, they don't eat much and when young are perfectly happy in supermarket cloths and hand me downs. It's the wider related costs that add up.

First you have lost earnings, starting with maternity leave (per child) which you might be on £140/week for at least part but possibly most of, so considerably less then most peoples pay. Then after that you either stop working, drop hours or pay extortionate amounts for child care. Even if you manage to stay in a career, it's impossible to be as focused and will need to request more flexibility at times, which tends to slow down progress and future earnings.

You will also need a bigger house, which means more rent/mortgages, costs more to heat, higher council tax, water etc. This may also mean moving further from your job, so add in all the travel costs, and the extra cost of more childcare while you travel.

We've had to start running a family car instead of getting public transport, so have to pay for purchase, insurance and car maintenance, not just the actual petrol for the school run or kid related journeys.

If you want to suport them through uni/collage when they're older, start saving now, for us that's another £50/month each into savings.

If you still want to go on holiday that's will cost at least double, and once they're school age, easily 4 or 5x more for a holiday outside term time. For any outings you will need to pay for multiple tickets, travel, food.

'Stupidly expensive food because your kid won’t eat 20p apples so you have to pay three quid a pop for raspberries in order to get some Vit C into them'

Yes my entire food shop is now all stuff for the kids and it's stuff I would never buy without them like babybel and small cartons of apple juice and smoothies, expensive fruit...anything to try to get them to eat SOMETHING with even a small amount of nutritional value.

Shoes - their feet grow so every time they go up a size they need new school shoes, trainers, football boots etc etc

Same goes for clothes: school uniforms, jeans, tops, coats

If they take up a sport you might be lucky and find they do something cheap, but same goes in terms of outfits, equipment etc

Car seats

There are so many things that you HAVE to replace regularly because they grow out of them.

You still aren't really getting it.

Kids growing/wrecking things isnt the cost. Its a drop in the ocean.

Childcare is the big cost, and is a factor for all of primary school as well.

Before school age, childcare costs are brutal. Depending on where you live £40-£80 a day. Its expensive to thr extent its often cheaper for someone to be a SAHP, and lose their income, than pay childcare for 2+ children.

3+ funding helps, but not as much as you'd think.

Then they reach school age! You get to choose between doing part time 'school friendly' hours (so 28 weeks a year, 25 hours a week), which is usually limited to fairly low paid work, or get wrap around childcare.

School wrap around childcare hugely varies. I'm lucky as its pretty cheap -. 8.15-5.15 x 5 days a week is £160 a month. However, that's still going to be tricky even fitting in a local 9-5 job. So then your are looking at childminders, or finding a job that 'fits'.

Then you are fitting in reading, homework, clubs etc, having to feed them and get them to bed at a decent time. Frankly, unless you have a nanny, having 2 demanding full time jobs isnt feasible. So someone's career is going to have to take a hit

Full time nursery at my DS's nursery js £890 a month. We've paid that for 2.5 years, then got the 30 free hours and now the bill is £550 a month.

When DS starts school, DD starts nursery at £890 a month. That's £10,700 a year for the next 2.5 years (unless the new childcare plans come into play).

DD uses around 6 tins of formula a month - £66. Plus I buy ready made formula for when out and about, approx £15 a month.

Nappies cost us around £20-25 a month (cheap Asda ones for baby, Pampers for bedtime for DS).

DD is 3 months and growing rapidly, so I'm spending around £30-50 a month on clothes (on Vinted) for her (she's 98th centile so growing through sizes quickly).

DS is constantly growing so I've always purchased a few items each month in his next size up - an outfit, or shorts and tee set, pjs, underwear etc., so it's not a big spend all at once when he sizes up. Another kiddo over 100th centile so grows quickly. Approx £20-30 a month.

My DS's snacks alone cost around £10 a week. Things like his yogurts, fruits, Peperamis, crackers, cheese. That's without the uplift in cost for his meals.

He'll start swimming lessons soon which are £25 a month.

We average 1 birthday party a month (we've had 4 this past fortnight!) - £10 for a gift, a card, drinks at the party.

We usually go to a soft play once a week, which admittedly is a luxury and could be cut, and he has a kids meal there. That's around £15 per week.

My DS's hair products cost a fair whack. He has Afro hair and I won't compromise on the quality of products we use to maintain his hair. His cleansing wash is around £18, his leave in conditioner is £20 and his curl cream is £22 I think. So £60. These so last us a number of months though.

I'll have all of these costs for DD too in the future.

Our fuel bills are double what they'd be for just us. We can tolerate feeling cold and layering up but we won't have the children cold at home so had the heating on a fair whack over winter.

They are expensive little beings!

Oh. I forgot that when DS starts school, on days I'm in the office and not WFH, it's £7 for breakfast club and £15 for after school club, so for two days a week, that's another £44 per week.

@Iamnotthe1 Interesting, on these threads people always list loads of individual expenses which are overwhelming and impossible to interprate.
Is that on average to 18 in todays money, ie no inflation? So if the total is £200,000 we should expect on average a little under 1000 a month per child

I was quite horrified. Go to a babyshop and take a look amd you'll soon get an idea. Just the set up with thr carseat, crib etc for the first 6 months is several thousand. If you're lucky enough to BF at least that's free, but even nappies and wipes add up, not to mention all the extra electricity due to washing etc Cost of baby classes, swimming things like that. It all adds up. And mine is only a toddler, and I'm SAHM so not even childcare costs yet

One of the biggest expenses is the bigger house - 3 bed with a garden on a quiet road cost more than twice as much as my child-free friend's 2 bed city centre flat for example.
Reduced earnings due to having to drop hours or be more flexible.

With the NHS falling apart private medical or dental costs are becoming more common too - I've paid a couple of grand for speech and language therapy and autism assessment for one of my children because the NHS wait would have been years.

Footwear alone.
They grow fast

At first
Nappies, bedding, extra washes, clothes they grow out of every X3 months.
If not breastfeeding bottles, steriliser
Car seat, buggy, moses basket, cot, baby monitor, baby carry,sunhats, sun cream, teddies, toys.

Then you need baby steps, potties, reins, ride ons, bikes.

As they get bigger swim class, or sporting activities, more bikes bigger ones, shoes and shoes, school uniform, lunches, you might want music lessons, instrument, swim suits, goggles, cycling helmets,

Reading books, art and craft bits, board games, panto tickets, Santa, all Christmas magic shit.

Cinema, bowling, ice creams, buckets and spades, crabbing sets, drinks out, snacks, pancake toppings, Easter eggs, birthday presents, Christmas presents, school dress up day, donations to PTA.

Clothes, trainers, rainjackets, wellies, bedding, Lego. Harry potter wands, plastic dinosaurs.

Then phones, trips away.

Driving lessons

Help with uni costs

Might have to help with housing deposit.

Holidays during school holidays so not just more travellers the costs skyrocket

You are right the bit of extra food and extra electric isn't that much extra. But it's single digit percentage of what kids costs.

This is without childcare. Or drop in household income to accommodate no childcare needed.

And they break stuff, just playing, but they break stuff. Doors, seat belts, beds, shelves, toasters, bikes, school bags, wands, they break loads of stuff.

But you love them

But fuck me they are expensive.

It's averaged out (including childcare) about £250k (net) per child, 0-18. So grand a month for 18 years per child.

This is no where near a full list.

Prams/car seats/cots all cost a lot.
We had a silver cross travel system and that was £1k.
They never stop growing so there are 4 seasons a year, all of which they'll need different clothes and shoes for (due to weather changes) and you'll have to keep going up a size.
Parties/presents/clubs.
Food and snacks (and if they're like my kids, so much of that will be wasted)
Toys upon toys!
Childcare - ours is £60 a day
School - the never ending themed costume days, milk for the term, school lunches, after school clubs, donations etc
The extra price of holidays
Things to do on weekends/days out at the zoo/farm/arcade etc

It is literally never ending. We have more than likely spent tens of thousands on our kids so far and they're 3 and 5.

About tree fiddy!

It has cost us about £400 to get the equipment for our eldest first DofE camp.

Rucksack, good walking boots, sleeping bag &mat, decent rain jacket and walking trousers plus some smaller bits.

It cost £180 for his branded school uniform this year, so 1 blazer, X2 jumpers and a pe kit, this doesn't include shoes, astro turf boots, gum shields, trainers, bag, trousers, shirts, pencil case and books. All this another£200 approx so that's £380 kitted out one child before you add in travel, lunches, trips replacement stationery. £800 this school year just for basic clothes, shoes, bags and a sleeping bag.

And we have a second coming up the ranks who has more interests, hence not cheaper.

Teenage girls have underwear and sanitary products expenses.

Yeah it's fuck loads OP.

But totally worth it what else would we enjoy spending money on as much eh!

Childcare is a huge expense. It doesn’t go away when they start school. You still have to cover before and after school, days off, and school holidays.

I would be surprised if 400 even covered wraparound care for an entire month for 2 children.

Childcare costs if you work are the biggest expense especially if they are pre school or in primary school so wrap around care. Obviously food, clothing, school trips etc

CMS is surely variable though and worked out according to ability to pay and other commitments. So your sister may get £400 but that will have been worked out on your BILs ability to pay and other commitments he may have like housing costs or children from other relationships.

It seems an odd thing to worry about given you do not have children and if you did presumably you have a partner so CMS is not the thing you should guage as being the actual cost of bringing up children. Once you factor in University, hobbies, presents, driving lessons as well as childcare and actual living costs it will be a lot more than £200 each child.

kids are expensive. I got 2 boys and i spent around £700 for their activities, hobbies and clothing. Not including food. Also when you go holiday its triple the price. I dont get any child benefit either. I’m from indonesia used to go back home once a year before i have kids. Now i have two kids and just the ticket for 4 of us ( me, dh and 2ds) its cost me £5000 so yeah kids its expensive but sooo worth it.

Well you would only need cms if you weren’t planning on staying with the Dad, or broke up with the Dad.

Children are bloody expensive but people make it work and most parents make sacrifices to make it work.

Some of the costs involved having a child:
Nappies, wipes, nappy creams - lots and lots of nappies
Baby clothes that they grow out of sooo fast
Cot, Moses baskets (if you go that route), bedding
Prams (ridiculously expensive)
Car seats which need upgrading as child gets bigger
Bottles, sterilising equipment
Formula if you don’t breast feed
Safety equipment (baby proofing a home) when they start crawling and walking.
Toys and development toys like baby walkers…
School uniforms
Clubs & activities (swimming, football, gymnastics, cubs etc..) uniforms or equipment to go with them
Upgrade of bedrooms
Birthday and Christmas’s which are expensive especially when they start wanting specific toys & then computer & technology
Birthday parties, then the ones you kids are invited to
Bikes, scooters
High school uniforms
Travel costs - bus passes
Holiday prices increase, especially if you have multiple children and especially when you are limited to school holiday times.
Pocket money
Dental care which if braces are needed is expensive
Then extra food, heating, bigger home, bigger car…

The list goes on

Some costs can be saved if your happy with second hand or don’t care about brands.

OPs forget childcare costs which was the reason I gave up work because they were so expensive.

For first baby we spent about 3.5k (pram, furniture, car seat, bath stuff, clothing, yadda yadda)

Costs up to 3yrs per year
Clothing: £500-600 (Next/M&S)
Xmas/Bday/Easter presents/party/activities: £1000
Childcare 2 days pw: £5000
Total: £6,500 - £6,600

Costs 3-12yrs
Clothing: £500-600 (Next/M&S)
School Uniform: £150-250
Haircuts/Toiletries: £150
Xmas/Bday/Easter presents/party/activities: £1000
Holiday schemes (childcare): 9wks @ £65 - £125 = £585 - £1,125
Footie/After school/Swimming: £1000
Total: £3385-4,125

Am presuming the teens are going to be expensive… and gov expects you to top up their Uni grant by about 5k per annum if you have decent income so the whole thing carries on until they’re about 23.

Fucking loads! And more the older they get.
Spent a clean fortune this year:
car, insurance for car, fuel for car, foreign school trip, driving lessons, pocket money, clothes. Well over 10k already this year and it’s only May!

For 0-3
I forgot about all the nappies and general day to day stuff needing replaced, formula if you’re not breastfeeding so whack another £1000 on for that.

For 3-12
We also pay £200pa for dental and have had to pay some private medical costs. And bday parties - about 10pa £15 a pop, so there’s another £150!

By the way this does not include increased housing/utilities/petrol/holiday costs. That’s all on top, and I haven’t quantified it!

You’re a good Mum. I’m making DC work summer jobs from 16 to buy their own cars… I will pay insurance and lessons though.