How much do children actually cost?

[Woodstocks]

Hello all, this is my first post on Mumsnet after reading along for a while. There have been lots of threads recently about cost of living and CMS and a lot of people claim that “CMS is categorically not enough to raise kids on”. I don’t have kids yet but am planning, so completely out of curiosity about what kind of cost is coming my way, how much do your children actually cost per month? I imagine it varies massively by age of the child but they can’t be that expensive surely? My sister for example receives £400 for two kids, plus gets the child benefit from government which I guess would cover all their food and extra uplift for electric, laundry, clothes, petrol for school runs etc. it worries me that people say CMS wouldn’t even cover the dads half of costs- what about kids is so expensive?

I look after my youngest most of the week. We also don't claim the childcare element at the moment. Guess only wealthy people are allowed to stay at home I guess. How would you know how much tax I pay or that I am non professional?

Another very deluded comment.
Nope it is not right people on benefits get help towards childcare however way you dress it up. I know dentists, gps and architects that have taken four year career breaks because being hammered for childcare at full cost was just not feasible for them, whilst their local hairdresser was encouraged back to work with handouts and top ups!

I think your anger is directed at the wrong people.

How so? When everything I have said is factual!

Three I'm childcare 10 years ago=£2000 pm plus nappies mill etc
Now, new school shoes-£150, school uniform swimming lessons music lessons etc etc -£4-500 plus food
I love them more than anything in the world though

Did they take career breaks because they had to or because they wanted to anyway and not having nursery fees was a bonus?

I didn't want a career break so we pay the nursery fees, take the hit and know it won't be forever.

I think, on reflection, my one cost about £120,000 over 21 years.

@Betterbear you do realise that by staying home the hairdresser would get even more benefits?

Your arguments make no sense. People don't actually need to work,handouts and an "it's not fair "rant.

How long is a piece of string 😂? Some months aren’t too bad, others are crazy. At least my oldest doesn’t need childcare as I work mostly from home and have family nearby. If you work full time and have 2 in nursery, it can be really tough. this is what my 11 yo and 2 yo have cost in the last month:

Extra bedrooms x 2 - £££? Depends on area etc and whether you’d live in a 3 bed (say) regardless.

extra electricity, gas, water etc - maybe £100?

food - £150 between them?

2yo nursery 3 days a week, I pay half and dp pays half - my half £380

2 yo clothes £12

trampolining - £25

11 yo (lots became due this month but there’s always something!):
residential for school £145
birthday £500 (extra generous one but still)
coach travel to swimming for school - £17.50
sports equipment - £140
scouts weekends x 2 - £65 and £15
school trousers -£12
waterproof trousers, wellies and head torch for scouts - £45
pocket money - £15
school leavers hoody - £25
hairbrush - £8

ds now likes to wear more branded clothes but I get 99% from Vinted and they look great. He’s totally happy with that and loves a bargain 😁.

Interesting thread and I might actually take note and advise my kids dad who thinks a certain amount a month to raise his kids on his behalf is good cos he never sees them, never takes them overnight and sure as shit never pays towards anything bar his 'maintenance' that he pays which is a pittance but hey ho I will raise all three teens on it myself.

Aside from food, there is school costs, clothing, social occasions, holidays, days out, braces (im in ireland and they cost me 4k per kid for these) let alone mortgage and bills. Birthday presents, xmas presents, parties etc are all my cost too as he provides nada towards any of them.

………… a very confusing response.

It’s not “people on benefits”…… Many are working people on low income. However, we know a couple who are teachers - TEACHERS - who are getting help towards childcare for their two. It depends on your circumstances.

Your assertion was that it was fake that people needed to work when they have young children.

I pointed out that people very much do need to work due to financial/career circumstances. And help is available for the vast majority so need to sit at home.

You only become ineligible for Tax free childcare etc when ONE of the parents makes in excess of £100,000pa………………..

So you’re telling me a family on well in excess of this (as the other partner’s income is on top of the 100k+) cannot afford childcare. Pull the other one.

From what I’ve seen of dentists, Drs and architects - who often have partners in similar roles - they do very well on 30hr contracts, which means they can largely work the childcare between them, with only a couple of days for childcare, very often grandparents! ie free!!

@Betterbear see above.

Kids don’t cost less if you choose not to work to save on the childcare - the cost is then your lost wages. I was a SAHM until my youngest started school. I had 7 lovely years at home with them. I loved every second of that time but the cost of it? Around £200,000 in lost income !!

Actually it would probably be more than that. I’m basing that on my salary now. If I’d have stayed in the work place those 7 years who knows what I’d be earning now (I’m a chartered accountant)

Not the point of the thread but just to correct some points about Architects.

The majority of female architects I know who have children go self employed to try and get some kind of work life balance, they’d probably qualify for universal credit because they aren’t going to be earning much when they first set up.

Part time work for employed technical staff in an architects office is almost unheard of, unless the architect is spending their non working day studying or teaching at a university, in which case they would still be expected to pick up emails and any urgent work on the day.

Enhanced maternity leave in architecture is also very rare. I have never known a practice offer more than statutory maternity pay. Maybe big London practices do but I wouldn’t count on it.

I work full time as an architect with a 2yp DC. He’s in full time nursery and we can afford it. The practice I work for don’t expect work out of hours and it’s works for us right now. I enjoy the work.

I have another maternity leave coming up and will qualify for universal credit and some payments towards childcare when I’m on leave because SMP is so low. We fully intend to use it! Once I’m back at work we’ll break even with 2 in childcare.

I echo this, Dr & Achitect 2 parent family here. Yes I could easily work LTFT throughout the nursery and primary years, DH was unable to continue in a salaried position and indeed has had to start his own practice. I have seen his female colleagues' careers go down the toliet so many times. We would absolutely have qualified and used the tax break.

it's a bit how long is a piece of string, the costs have to fit income, if you have a low income certain things are unaffordable like school ski trips some people live in a 3 bed house before kids so housing costs are not really increasing, most cars accommodate 2 kids so a car change is not necessary just car seats
childcare varies on whether you pay for it full time 5 days a week, pay for some as both parents work different days, or don't pay at all as grandparents siblings etc help
for some people on near minimum wages it is of doubtful benefit to work unless have at least some free childcare, some folks are not going to get promoted so time out of workplace doesn't affect long term career progress
you can't spend 10,000 per year on a child if you have 2 children on an income of 20K
some people feed a family of 4 for £70 a week others it would be £200 plus
some people can only afford a few pounds a month on activites that is just how it is

Ans it's not like childcare assistance is limited to those on the lowest incomes anyway. There are higher rate taxpayers who qualify for UC, and afaik they'd have to be paying childcare for that to be the case.

Well, I would have lost any potential way to go back into the same kind of job I had prior to DD if I would have stayed at home for several years. I would have started at the bottom again, most likely full time instead of a good part-time position with a very family friendly company.

So, I may have saved on childcare but I would have lost income for all the years from DD being 9 to retirement, that's around 20+ years. Oh, and obviously no private pension as well.

It's not that I just love my job, it's financial security which is so dam important.

Yeah, generalisations about childcare costs vs cost of not working are stupid. People earn vastly varying amounts, are entitled to very different levels of childcare support, don't all have the same number of children, the same age gaps or the same jobs. It's pointless, even if we could agree the parameters. The only correct answer is, it depends.

@PinkCherryBlossoms @Neurodiversitydoctor @PinkPlantCase

Thank you for giving more information specific to architecture and for backing up my point that the majority of people will be eligible for some sort of childcare support (that it is not just for those on low income, but for working parents).

There is plenty of support to help people continue their careers and do the work that they very much want and need to do.

@Hoppingmad231
I missed a comma and was a bit miss leading there.
I meant to give them as examples. So fruit, pouches (dinners etc) when an avocado is £1 and a mango £1 it soon adds up.