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Original poster

My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

592 replies

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 10:59

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

OP posts:
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Findyourneutralspace · 01/05/2023 11:00

How difficult would it be to find another job? He sounds unbearable.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 11:02

I think it will take up to two months to get another job. I can't afford to quit until I have this new job.

OP posts:
TheABC · 01/05/2023 11:05

If the only barrier is money, work out your exit budget and if you can get a stop gap through credit cards or freelance work. You can then sign off on sick leave with stress.

Even if you don't go through with it, just knowing there's an option will help. It does sound like workplace bullying and I wish you luck in getting away from it.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 11:08

Thanks. He won't pay sick pay and he's a multi millionaire who will pay his lawyers to use my money up trying.

And I don't want to leave without a jo lined up because since Covid I've had several gaps in my CV.

Hence why I'm trying to cope emotionally for the next 2 to 3 months as sadly any practical solution is not without problems.

But thank you your advice is sensible.

OP posts:
stbrandonsboat · 01/05/2023 11:10

Can you go sick for a couple of months?

You should name and shame on social media. Do it anonymously.

Dwightlovesmichael · 01/05/2023 11:11

Honestly, I would stand up to him and tell him what a cunt he is.

I’d also tell everyone else too.

I’d also end up jobless and homeless so it wouldn’t be the best solution. But this is how people like him act the way they do. No one calls them out on their shitty behaviour.

MumofTwins234 · 01/05/2023 11:12

Bless you this sounds awful.

So you've got your exit strategy in place - good luck and i hope you find another job very soon. In the meantime, try and stay away from him as much as possible. Keep doing your job as best you can, and record and report any of his nasty behaviour. Tell yourself that even if HR won't do anything about him this time - having your reports on file may help the next person he does it to, as the pattern of behaviour will become impossible to ignore.

Do you have any friends at work who can help support you?

thedevilinablackdress · 01/05/2023 11:12

Emotional detachment. The Grey Rock technique I think they call it in the Relationships board.
It sounds awful OP.

Soozikinzii · 01/05/2023 11:13

Look for another job work for another month then take any time off owed and sick for the rest if he doesn't pay he doesn't pay .

Quitelikeacatslife · 01/05/2023 11:14

He really has to pay sick pay, that's an obligation if you are signed off by a doctor. Do you have a contract? What full pay sick days are you granted before statutory? Does not one person get one day of sick pay? ?

Anyway that is side issue. You know you are going to leave, put every effort into getting a great new job (even if have to take a small pay cut for a good company) you keep that in your head and once discussions and interviews start you will feel better I'm sure. Keep building up your team and being the best manager you can be

NurseCranesRolodex · 01/05/2023 11:14

Yes, grey rock.
Plan your next job then anonymously name and shame. Sounds like a prick.

Quitelikeacatslife · 01/05/2023 11:15

Definitely whistle blow when you leave

DancedByTheLightOfTheMoon · 01/05/2023 11:15

Yes l agree, name and shame him.
Film him undercover so nobody else wants to work for him. Let his fans see his true colours.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 11:17

Thanks. I'm crying now you're all so nice.

I think there's some good advice there on emotional detachment. Logging the crazy would also help me feel less crazy so thanks for that idea.

I'm single and my friends are good but I have no one to just list the crazy to...which would help.

He works in a different country so I'm expected to do 5 hours extra every day to be available. But if I'm leaving soon I could stop doing this....I'm just scared he will fire me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 11:18

There is one work colleague who knows how hard this is. But he's too scared to do anything about it.

OP posts:
Dwightlovesmichael · 01/05/2023 11:19

You just have to remember that no one has any power over you. No body should be afraid of a boss.

Have you got any of his shitty behaviour documented?

Quitelikeacatslife · 01/05/2023 11:21

Collect evidence now that you are doing the job you are paid for, get evidence of your achievements etc stashed away and also of any unfair treatment, get him to put things in writing, and if he fires you then take him to tribunal for unfair dismissal. It sounds like someone needs to stand up to him. He won't want the publicity of that

Jellybebe · 01/05/2023 11:22

Try and protect yourself as much as you can - save any bullying emails or texts etc. keep a diary of his behaviour. I'm sure you won't be the only one who is impacted by his behaviour.

And get out as quickly as you can! I hope he gets his comeuppance. Big hug to you!! X

Gwdiwho · 01/05/2023 11:22

Good luck with the job search, OP. Life is too short to put up with shit like this.

There’s some good advice above- log all his behaviour (with evidence if possible, emails etc). Try to emotionally harden yourself, keeping in mind that you will be free from this soon and that this is his problem, not yours. His behaviour is a reflection of his insecurity, not on your ability.

I hope you find a job that makes you much happier soon. You will. And then you can come back and tell us who he is…😜

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/05/2023 11:23

I'd accidentally leave my phone on record when he's being obnoxious..

WildFlowerBees · 01/05/2023 11:23

Is he a narcissist? If so, work out how to play him to get you through the next couple of months.

I worked with a boss who was such an arsehole made my life very difficult I felt anxious all the time around him but loved my job. I stood up to him and it made things far far worse for me I was painted as a trouble maker, bad apple. After that I gave him enough rope and behaved in a way that made him believe I was towing the line. I wasn't and I struggled at first to 'play' this part but things got easier, he left me alone but his rope ran out and he was shown for being exactly who he was and it was nothing to do with me.

Namechange224422 · 01/05/2023 11:25

If he owns the company it’ll be impossible to do anything about this.

Do you work in the office or from home? If you’re usually in the office I would develop a “hurt foot” which means that you need to work remotely and allows you to miss some of the worst meetings for “doctors appointments”.

Id manage my team as separately from him as possible and protect them from his behaviour if you can. I’d also make sure that I had anyone who I rated on my personal social media so that I could poach them to my next job.

Id try and leave on good terms - lots of regret about how you’ll miss the company etc - so that you get a good reference. Then consider your position once you’re settled in a new job.

ResetFuture · 01/05/2023 11:30

I've just quit my job with a 'god' boss.
After giving a few friends examples once I actually quit everyone said congratulations.
During my mental exit period I stopped thinking of work in terms of diligence, motivation, etc and purely thought of it as money earning. I calculated the money, thought about my savings, my earnings.
I was firmer when dealing with god because I had mentally checked out.
I clocked every example of unreasonable behaviour and noted it as such in my head and occasionally with a colleague.
I made the most professionally of contacts, forms, procedure details etc before anyone knew I was leaving.
I hinted at family needing my support so they could blame that and we could part on better terms.
I've really enjoyed the last couple of weeks, I'm sure you will feel happier too. Best wishes.

DyslexicPoster · 01/05/2023 11:32

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/05/2023 11:23

I'd accidentally leave my phone on record when he's being obnoxious..

Yes, me too. Unfortunately with bullies who hold power your on a hiding to nothing waiting for them.to see justice. Concentrate on survival and protecting your back. Log with HR for the next victim

AtrociousCircumstance · 01/05/2023 11:33

Until you’re free and have a new job, you can use this thread to document what happens and how you feel.

Detachment and grey rock is the golden ticker here, practice it - when people are high drama/high stress/aggressive we get pulled into mirroring their levels of alarm BUT we can learn to detach that energy matching instinct and stay centred. Also maybe try to laugh at some of his stupid pantomime behaviour. And remember - it’s very temporary.

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