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Original poster

My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

592 replies

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 10:59

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

OP posts:
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Inkpotlover · 01/05/2023 12:58

Also, just seen your update where he's belittled your comments online. Screenshot the lot!!! That's part of your case to take to HR.

TheBrokenCracker · 01/05/2023 13:00

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 12:52

Thank you @Bramshott you are right.

The other thing he has done before is taken something I've said, post it online and say "what idiot says things like this". It inevitably gets 1000s of likes and is another aspect to the bullying.

You are very right that reminding myself that LOTS of people hate their job is actually a good strategy. It stops me feeling g I'm in a uniquely horrible situation and strengthens my resolve to cope better emotionally

Ok this is very shitty behaviour and I would be tempted to call it.

i would say “if I May be honest with you Bob, I was quite shocked to see your post re (subject) quoting what I had said and found it quite hurtful. If you have feesback about what I am doing I would ask you to raise with me in private. trust is so important with work relationships”.

kingtamponthefurred · 01/05/2023 13:00

Start writing your memoir, lightly fictionalised for safety.

MrBit · 01/05/2023 13:03

You're setting up your escape, you won't be there forever
Christ I don't envy you, it's shit but soon you'll be out of it

Maze76 · 01/05/2023 13:06

Grey rock until you are able to leave, then spill to Deuxmoi. No one should have to work in those conditions.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 13:07

I feel awful not tagging everyone who has written something helpful. I'm actually writing these things down.

Just had direct report question a perfectly good decision that old boss and peer signed off. Saying we should present it to guru. I've nicely told him to do it. But this kind of thing is as stressful as dealing with the guy himself.

OP posts:
AdamRyan · 01/05/2023 13:07

Try this

http://www.davidbonham-carter.com/selfcoaching/fogging.html

Also some mindfulness techniques to calm yourself when he's being a knob - I.e. you can use one finger to trace round the outside of the other hand and focus on how that feels while he's talking

Fogging

http://www.davidbonham-carter.com/selfcoaching/fogging.html

GoneTillNovember · 01/05/2023 13:08

That's awful. How dare he treat you like that! I'm furious on your behalf. Fingers crossed you get another job asap.

I had an awful boss for a few years. I used to cry all the time and spend Sundays feeling sick and tearful knowing I was working the next day. I eventually went part time and changed my working hours so that our paths almost never physically crossed. I also stopped, as much as I could, the meetings in her room where she belittled me. Everything was via email. Any time I couldn't escape an in-person meeting I'd follow it up with an email immediately afterwards detailing what had been said. I had to steel myself to do it but I needed it written down in black and white to know that I wasn't crazy, it wasn't all in my head, and me being oversensitive and unable to take feedback and overly emotional etc.

That was a really tough time. My boss now is laid back and kind and thoughtful but very knowledgeable and supportive and I LOVE working for him. Same job, same organisation, different boss, different life.

Good luck OP

KathyLoves · 01/05/2023 13:08

You need to protect yourself and build up your energy reserves! You're doing great writing down helpful things!

polkadotdalmation · 01/05/2023 13:13

Is it lord sugar?

Candidate987 · 01/05/2023 13:14

Trigger warning

For those sending e-mails on a non-working day/outside of working hours, a warning. I came a cropper sending a perfectly reasonable explanation to a very senior manager after hours.
I now believe she was drunk when she read it and between HR and her flying monkeys, she nearly drove me to a nervous breakdown.
Despite one employee taking the trouble to go into the office to end their life and her drunken decisions costing the taxpayer millions, she continues to be enabled.
Be kind to yourselves - grey rock is your friend.

QuintanaRoo · 01/05/2023 13:14

Write everything down. Screenshots of everything, record what you can.

dont let it get to you, remember it’s him not you. Find another job asap. Then take him to an employment tribunal……would acas give you some free advice?

ShandaLear · 01/05/2023 13:14

pinkyredrose · 01/05/2023 12:19

Do you work for Gordon Ramsey?

That was my first thought!

Totalwasteofpaper · 01/05/2023 13:15

wildfirewonder · 01/05/2023 11:59

  1. Keep a detailed diary
  2. Speak to a solicitor about your rights (an initial appointment will not cost much)
  3. Practice detachment - observe what he says and then write it down.
  4. Apply for everything you possibly can, including via agencies

This also record the bad calls.

Super useful for leverage / agreeing garden leave when you resign

Go via HR as they are much more likely to see sense vs nutter boss.

Begsthequestion · 01/05/2023 13:16

Sorry you're going through this. Must be really hard.

Could you distance yourself emotionally a bit by viewing these next two months as research and observation for an eventual exposé? Like, keep a strict diary of how he behaves each day and how abusive and ridiculous he is, and then speak to a solicitor about making it public (anonymously perhaps) once you've left? If you're in the UK I believe that libel law requires the person who thinks they have been libeled to prove that the statements made are not true - so if you have a timely written record of what he does then that could be a solid defence if he ever tried to make any case out of it.

Obvs get good legal advice before you do anything with the diary. Even if you don't do anything with it, I think journalling can really help process negative emotions, strengthen your resilience and help remind yourself that you are not the problem, he is.

Good luck and hope you find a great new job very soon.

Lou197 · 01/05/2023 13:20

What does your contract say? If you are entitled to sick leave please sign off sick with stress, he will have to pay you.

Kfjsjdbd · 01/05/2023 13:21

I’ve had almost exactly the same situation. ‘Celebrity’ boss with millions of insta followers (think the wellness industry). I ended up on anti depressants and had to leave before it destroyed me. A job is never worth your sanity.

Katieandthekids · 01/05/2023 13:23

Is it Elon Musk 🤣

Kfjsjdbd · 01/05/2023 13:24

In fact, I’m wondering whether it’s the same person. Are his initials ‘M.M.’?

doglikescheeseontoast · 01/05/2023 13:24

Candidate987 I wonder if you and I have had the same boss.

Humanbiology · 01/05/2023 13:26

Is his name Dhar Man his actors protested because he didn't pay them enough.

Humanbiology · 01/05/2023 13:26

Is his name Dhar Man his actors protested because he didn't pay them enough.

jazzybelle · 01/05/2023 13:27

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Humanbiology · 01/05/2023 13:29

Kfjsjdbd · 01/05/2023 13:24

In fact, I’m wondering whether it’s the same person. Are his initials ‘M.M.’?

I wonder why before she became a royal no one had a bad word to say about her?

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 13:29

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