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Original poster

My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

592 replies

Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 10:59

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Whydidyou · 01/05/2023 12:08

Not read full thread but

Read sociopath next door and the sequel
how to outsmart a sociopath

SerendipityJane · 01/05/2023 12:11

He really has to pay sick pay, that's an obligation if you are signed off by a doctor.

This is the UK. As P & O have proved, it's entirely possible to piss all over workers rights with no comeback.

Minniliscious · 01/05/2023 12:14

Is it Lord Sugar?

babyproblems · 01/05/2023 12:15

Go off sick and find a new job. The only power people have as employees now is to vote with your feet.. you definitely don’t have to tolerate this. Also I suggest when you do leave you tell some of his followers why!! Really hoping you don’t work for Andrew tate!!!!! Sounds like a class A twat

RoseRobot · 01/05/2023 12:15

Dwightlovesmichael · 01/05/2023 11:11

Honestly, I would stand up to him and tell him what a cunt he is.

I’d also tell everyone else too.

I’d also end up jobless and homeless so it wouldn’t be the best solution. But this is how people like him act the way they do. No one calls them out on their shitty behaviour.

I agree with this. People like this are never confronted. Next time he behaves like a tosser, say, "Stop! Are you aware how damaging your behaviour is to the people who work for you? When you scream like this, my nerves are in shreds. Please treat us with respect and calm consideration." If need be, get a work group together to approach HR and publicly demand that the bullying tactics stop.

Or secretly film the sleb on a number of occasions to keep a record of the intolerable behaviour.

Viviennemary · 01/05/2023 12:17

Sell a story about him if he is a celeb.

RoseRobot · 01/05/2023 12:19

I'd also start behaving with a lot more self preservation. Line up interviews with other companies and just go to them, even if it means skipping a meeting. Don't work beyond your scheduled hours. Ensure that someone above you in the company can act as your referee, not him, given that your old boss has already left and you don't trust him to give a fair reference. Can HR prove your working track record? Would a reference from your old boss be acceptable if they have recently left?

pinkyredrose · 01/05/2023 12:19

Do you work for Gordon Ramsey?

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 12:20

Thank you @Whydidyou I read the first one but way before I got this job. Will look out the sequel. This and some of the early posts are the sorts of advice I was hoping for. This is about coping emotionally with a situation I cannot change until I can leave.

OP posts:
ukgot2pot · 01/05/2023 12:21

How big of a celebrity is he?! Is he somebody everyone would know, or is he more internet famous?

Outdamnspot23 · 01/05/2023 12:22

You’re doing all the practical stuff to get out of there. I think you just need to emotionally distance from it and him. Keeping a journal of his behaviour as PP suggested is a good idea. Some of it is probably quite funny in a bleak way. And just remember it’s not you, it’s him. It’s not you, it’s him.

He’s a toddler in a large body by the sound of him. Realising someone who’s a bully has all the emotional maturity of a very small child who doesn’t like the toast they just asked you to make them can help.

You’ll be out of there really soon, he’s stuck being a total shitfuck forever.

Outdamnspot23 · 01/05/2023 12:24

Also by the sound of him he’s in the US or Canada so NICE AND FAR AWAY. One day you’re going to resign and he’ll be left to clear up his own shit.

have you been networking for a new job?

SlashBeef · 01/05/2023 12:24

James Smith jumped into my mind as soon as I read the OP.

Crucible · 01/05/2023 12:24

I'd be recording him. Best of luck.

Whydidyou · 01/05/2023 12:25

Out of the fog website has a forum with a coworker section

Outdamnspot23 · 01/05/2023 12:26

i have to say, 100s of 1000s of followers isn’t THAT big a deal. There are billions of people in the world and most have never heard of him.

Isheabastard · 01/05/2023 12:27

I understand why you need tactics to get through the next couple of months.

Other posters recommendations of keeping a diary, grey rock and bogus flattery etc are good.

The only other thing would be to plan small petty acts of revenge. Or plan something suitable for after you leave. You don’t even need to carry them out. But thinking about them will help you put up with your situation.

user1492757084 · 01/05/2023 12:29

It's three months and you will get a better reference if you do your best until then.
That is all you can do - your best - while remembering that he is a nasty beast.
Can you instigate one nice thing in the office that makes you more able to cope during this terrible three months ..
marshmellows
music
photos of dogs or pets
Friday pizza for lunch day
fresh flowers in a vase
a lunch time quiz or word puzzle
cup cake rewards for best ideas for projects

Some lateral thinking might lift the workplace morale and also offer you the odd bright distraction.

SaveMeFromForearms · 01/05/2023 12:29

Minniliscious · 01/05/2023 12:14

Is it Lord Sugar?

Why ask? The OP obviously can't say. The thread isn't for us to get gossip.

Sundaefraise · 01/05/2023 12:29

whatisheupto · 01/05/2023 11:36

I think I'd be clever about this. Ask for a meeting with him where you tell him you're struggling to cope with the way he makes you feel. That it is pushing you away. But here's the clever bit... flatter him and stroke his ego in the process. So tell him you admire and respect him and think he's wonderful and would love to continue working with him. But you need him on your side. Make him feel in control and that you do anything for him as long as he has your back. So you need his help.

He probably won't want the hassle of losing you. He might love the new dynamic of having a tight little team with you. But he needs you to be the one to ask for it as he won't ever want to show that he needs you.

I worked for someone veeeeery similar, extremely wealthy, very powerful. This tactic worked for me (short term cos I didn't like the falseness and I left anyway). It might work for you to make the next 2 months bearable. You've got nothing to lose. I bet they have no one to confide and trust in so showing some vulnerability on your part might encourage them to see you as an ally to them.

I did something similar with an unbearable boss. I actually think they had some kind of personality disorder, but also very privileged and wealthy so never going to be called out for anything. I tried to treat it like a game, working out what insincere flattery I needed to use to get by. I still occasionally have to deal with them and even if the interaction is relatively mundane I immediately feel incredibly stressed.

Original poster
Niceseasidetown · 01/05/2023 12:30

Yes some of it is really funny. I felt so bad last night I called the Sanaritans and said some if the things he'd said. We actually ended up laughing.

I think writing things down will help.

It could also help as I can remind him of what he said later...when his brilliant ideals fail.

Example (made up so as not to out myself): why are we buying ingredients BEFORE we've sold the meal to the customer?? That's eating up our fucking capital. Shoot me now maybe someone here is a genius that can fucking explain this.

Me: because if we wait til the customer orders to buy ingredients then we need loads more staff to run to a supermarket, we pay more for ingredients, the customer has to wait ages. It's not going to work.

Him: so you're right and I'm wrong so how come I'm the millionaire then? When I set up this business we NEVER bought ingredients til the customer paid for the meal. You changed that and you wonder why profit is down.

Typing that really cheered me up. Thank you so much everyone.

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 01/05/2023 12:31

The people asking who it is, just fuck off please.

Morph22010 · 01/05/2023 12:31

Quitelikeacatslife · 01/05/2023 11:14

He really has to pay sick pay, that's an obligation if you are signed off by a doctor. Do you have a contract? What full pay sick days are you granted before statutory? Does not one person get one day of sick pay? ?

Anyway that is side issue. You know you are going to leave, put every effort into getting a great new job (even if have to take a small pay cut for a good company) you keep that in your head and once discussions and interviews start you will feel better I'm sure. Keep building up your team and being the best manager you can be

My dh only gets ssp, lots of places don’t pay enhanced sick pay

TheCatterall · 01/05/2023 12:31

@Niceseasidetown how long have you worked there? Either way please ring ACAS (presuming you are in the U.K.) for some advice. Massive squishes and hope you get something soon.

Pipsquiggle · 01/05/2023 12:32

You have an exit plan which is good.

All I would say is try to get to the 'not giving a fuck' stage ASAP

I had a horrible boss, sounds similar to yours. Threw so many people under the bus, 50% of the team resigned. I was signed off sick for 6 weeks. It was then that I thought I don't give a fuck and soon after that I got a new position in the same organisation.

Good luck

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