My celebrity boss is a lunatic I'm losing the plot

[Niceseasidetown]

My boss is a celebrity in our industry. Think: 100s of 1000s of social media followers, his own podcast...and all the ego that goes with that.

He is also rude (telling people their ideas are fucking shit), a huge micromanager and a bully. Everyone at work says this, not just me. His adoring fans don't see this side of him.

When I took the job he wasn't my boss. He fired my boss publicly saying he wasn't up to the job and now I have to work much more closely with the celebrity boss. My stress and anxiety are through the roof. I am criticised for everything and publicly. Literally not one thing is right (even obvious achievements). I'm mocked and ridiculed. I'm very experienced and well paid and in my 40s. I'm good at my job.

I'm obviously looking for a new job.

Spoke to HR who just sighed and said he is like that. He owns the company.

How do I cope. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. I also have to manage a team who he undermines me in front of.

Literally every hour is miserable and terrifying.

I can't do anything legally or practically. I need emotional coping tips because I am a wreck. I worry what this is doing to my physical as well as mental health.

I would cope by plotting revenge, I would make sure he was exposed and ruined.

Jamie Oliver. He’s a very different person off screen.

This is really unbelievable.

Unfortunately some bosses are like this. The one I had before my current one drove me to a total breakdown where I was seriously considering taking my own life. It's taken a good few years to be in some semblance of where I was before.

I'm thinking Joe wicks.

@Humanbiology - the poster clearly said HIS initials.

Record him even if you can't use in court, the court of public opinion can ruin him.

"Why am I the multi-millionaire?"

Because you're a fucking gobby prick who got lucky, when what you actually needed was repeated bogwashing.

I don’t see that speculating as to the identify of the boss is in any way helpful to the OP.

Honestly, no job is worth making you feel so bad that you need to talk to the Samaritans! My advice is to hand your notice in immediately rather than put up with this treatment.

If you want to protect your team's mental health, could you try something along the lines of:
"Yes, it looks like an obviously shit idea, but nobody's tried it because it looks so obviously shit. Bonkers Boss wants to be the brave one who finds out whether it really is shit, and I'm happy to help him explore that. It's his money."

But in better language, obviously.

Might protect you all a little from over-investment and the emotional rollercoaster.

Only on MN are you told to "sue for constructive dismissal" against an arrogant rich narcissist who'll delight in charging his legal costs to the company while the bullied employee comes away with a bloody nose and an empty bank account.

You're winning already by already having made your mind up that it's intolerable and you're going. Some people suffer for years in jobs that are killing them, you're not going to! Just think how different your life will look four months from now 😊

And narcissists don't care what other people think of them. Their reputation will probably be enhanced!

Yeah, if anything it's just going to stress the OP out more. I think they told us so we'd understand the context not to kick up a bunch of extra stress and drama...

You won't be the only person who feels like this about him OP, I don't know if it would be possible to find and collaborate with the others?
Problem is there are some who will always be loyal to him because of his wealth and success.

She's said she can't afford it.

It's taken me a while but I've realised, having twice experienced working for extreme twats, it won't last forever and you can get through it.
Others have made loads of helpful suggestions but one that worked for me was just to continually remind myself that they're a twat and will continue to be so once I've left. I've been told I come across as unflappable in the face of idiots but don't tell them it's because in my head I'm singing my little 'you're a wanker' song that has got me through some testing times. To look at me you'd never imagine I even knew such words although I need to be a bit careful because I have almost sung it out loud 😀 Hope you find a new job soon.

OP's response was appropriately direct, not 'extremely nasty'. You're the one needlessly being an arse to someone who has stated that they're in emotional/mental distress.

OP can start a thread here if she likes. You are not obliged to hang around if you think she is 'moaning'.

Mine too

OP I feel for you. When I did my legal training my boss was a fucking lunatic. He spoke to the other partners like shit so trainees had no chance. I was pregnant for the last six months of my training contract as well, it was horrendous. There’s nowhere to go in these situations and nothing you can do, except leave which isn’t always an option for various reasons x

Not sure if this helps but I found I was able to cope much better once I was actively looking for another job. My own little act of rebellion and subversion. It was still awful but I cared less because I knew my foot was already out of the door. Good luck, it’s horrible.

Sometimes 'moaning on an internet forum' can help stop the suicidal thoughts. It did for me.

These bosses are impossible, they can't be shamed, reasoned with, changed. Glad you've had some advice about how to cope until you can leave. Maybe consider yourself an actor in a sit com about your boss, he is actually so ridiculous it's funny.

I had a temporary contract with a boss who caused the whole team a massive amount of stress, I never bonded with a group of co-workers so quickly. I was covering 3 months until the permanent member of staff was able to complete a house sale and move to the area. A week after I left I heard he had put his new house back on the market and was going back to his old job!

Wishing you the very best of luck in moving on and your diplomatic skills should stand you in very good stead in whatever you do next.

good point made by pp about learning skills that will stand you in good stead. I had a boss who had some kind of personality disorder (sociopath maybe? Way beyond narcissism) and while sadly I left that job and was unable to work for a few years because of her, I am now in a very senior national role precisely because I am now completely unmoved by bad behaviour in the workplace. Nothing will compare to the torment this woman put me through but now, many years later, it’s given me incredible coping skills which has meant I am given a huge amount of responsibility.

you just need to be able to do is get through the next few months.

For your team I would do as you’ve suggested but also work in the background to protect them. So make sure that you have the decision in writing from guru, cc him into some of the process, make sure work is collective and don’t let individual team members “shine” etc. I’m sure you’re used to it.

With your close colleague if they’re onside I’d be a bit more candid - but not in writing - “yes it’s a shit decision but it isn’t but not my shit decision. I can’t fight every battle”

Without knowing what industry you’re in it’s hard to know if this suggestion would be possible. But if you, burnt out manager and close colleague were running a company together would it be successful? Just a thought…..