Tired of partner with ‘Influencer’ job

[BitterSweetheart]

I just wondered if anyone can relate to this. Obviously I want to try and keep this as anonymous as possible to protect our privacy.

I’m finding myself increasingly resentful about my partner’s ’influencer’ type job. They left their 9-5 a few years back as they were unhappy and I tried to be a supportive as possible. They are now making a living of sorts with something related to their interest - it just about brings in a similar wage but a lot of it feels like smoke and mirrors (brand deal exposure type things rather than salary increases). Looks very glamorous online, lots of gifts/trips away and they’ve amassed an adoring following. In real terms it seems whilst they are happier and working less at something they enjoy, I find it all hard to take seriously. There is limited career progression, they live in a bit of a bubble and are quite detached from reality - enjoying all the ego stroking from their followers, believing all the hype. I’m finding it increasingly hard to respect them as it all feels quite narcissistic.

I am for them happy and proud of them, but I’m also finding myself more resentful at working normal hours for normal pay, no perks and certainly no glitz, gifts and trips away. That life doesn’t appeal to me and I do get job satisfaction for a role in healthcare that I’ve worked and studied hard for. However I get burned out for long hours, poor working conditions (pressures on service etc) and not much reward. They seem to swan about with everyone telling them how wonderful they are, and assuming we are rolling in it- but we’re not - we’re struggling with the CoL increases like everyone else!

I just worry I guess about how resentful I feel, how precarious their work is and that they seem quite happy to ride this train with what seems like no realistic plan on how to future proof it- what happens when the brand deals dry up?

I have tried speaking to them a bit about this but they only can see the here and now, and don’t see the point in worrying about what may happen. They are clearly enjoying riding this wave and believing their own hype, which is great I guess?

I would be grateful to hear from anyone who has experienced anything similar - how to manage my feelings and be supportive of partner without letting this impact upon our relationship.

But ok - you agree with the Op and follow them. Fair enough!

@Bamboozleme To assume that someone saying that they find the influencers they follow vacuous (as they say they agree with the OP!) and then to suggest that perhaps they just don’t follow them…. Well seems a pretty reasonable assumption and suggestion to me 😂

That's what you took from the OP? That's not the way I read it, I didn't see the word "vacuous" anywhere. And I enjoy the people I follow on SM, that's why I follow them. I just said it "might" be hard on their partners. What is so hard to understand there? And why do you feel you have to justify your incorrect opinion? If I don't enjoy, I just don't follow. But then I don't tell other people what they are feeling, when I don't know anything about them, and they haven't asked for my opinion. But you do you @Bamboozleme. 😂😂

How strange.

All I said was if you find annoying, unfollow 🤷‍♀️

You seem to taken enormous offence at the suggestion that if you find annoying, unfollow 😐

But you (so far as I can see) said that in response to a post which didn't at any point suggest that she found the people she followed annoying, just that it was probably annoying for their partners to get roped into videos.

People do tend to get pissed off (you can term it "offended" if you like) when others respond to their posts with no indication of having read them properly.

I’m not an influencer but I am a freelancer and I pay for a pension, pay NI, pay for insurance in case I get ill…all these ‘benefits’ are just things that your employer pays for out of the value you create as a worker, same as I do. I also think this idea about progression, stability etc is an illusion. Anyone can get made redundant or burnout and not be able to work - even if they are in a regular job.

However I will say that I find that I feel quite emotionally attached to my work, I get ‘likes’ and respect and thanks there that I don’t get in the same way at home and I imagine that must be even more amplified as an influencer. What do you do together in the real world?

@ProtectorExtraordinaryOfTheCantonsOfNim Thank you!! You explained it perfectly. I had given up trying to explain it to @Bamboozleme. It was like dealing with the rantings of a controlling partner who thinks they know what you think better than you do! Gaslighter extraordinaire