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Original poster

If you could have ONLY 1 child a boy or a girl which one would you choose?

246 replies

SleepDreamThinkHuge · 21/04/2023 15:56

Someone asked me this question hypothetically if you had no children and you were only destined for one child what would you choose if you had the chance?

OP posts:
PanettoneMoly · 21/04/2023 20:55

Three years ago, I would have said a boy. Now I have DD, I look back fondly and wonder what on earth I was thinking.

tillytoodles1 · 21/04/2023 20:58

I have one of each, but I'm much closer to my daughter.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 21/04/2023 21:02

SoupDragon · 21/04/2023 17:26

I think some people are missing that this is hypothetical and not related to the children you already have. Obviously no one is going to want to change or pick from the children they l ready have!

But if you already have children you can't answer hypothetically, because your lived experiences of being a parent inevitably will influence your choice.

Stressfordays · 21/04/2023 21:05

Pre kids I'd of said girl. Because of pretty silly reasons like wanting to dress them up etc.

I have 2 boys and a girl and the boys are far easier to parent and I love them so much. I do love my daughter but she is challenging compared to them.

However, I would still say a girl because of the dynamics of adult relationships. I'm extremely close to my Mum and in turn she is very close to her grandchildren. My brothers barely bother with my Mum and she isn't as close with my niece despite desperately trying. It really hurts her that she is kept at arms length. I see this amongst most of my adult friends and I really want that relationship with my grandchildren.

CatherinedeBourgh · 21/04/2023 21:08

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:17

@Colourmylifewith

I don’t believe it though. I think it’s from defensive mums of sons. I haven’t met anyone in my day to day life who really, really had a preference for a son PRE kids. PRE being the important word here. Good for you and all that but I still think you’re in the minority.

I think it's to do with your own experiences. I wanted a boy as I had a crap relationship with my mother, and was a nightmare teenager, so I thought I was more likely to have a good relationship with a son.

Dh wanted a daughter, because he had a crap relationship with his father, and thought he was more likely to have a good relationship with a daughter.

As it happens we had sons, and both have a great relationship with them. So wouldn't want anything else.

CatherinedeBourgh · 21/04/2023 21:09

And my mum is much closer to her son than all her daughters (in fact he's the only one who lives in the same country as her)

IsabelaYourBoyfriendsHere · 21/04/2023 21:13

Girl. I always wanted my own little girl, I used to daydream about having a daughter.

I have three now!

JaninaDuszejko · 21/04/2023 21:17

Before we had DC I'd have said girl and DH would have said boy. I think that's because it's easier to imagine a mini-me rather than areal preference based on genitals.

Now we have 3DC (both sexes represented) and can say that personality is not based on sex. I love them all and get infuriated at them all an equal amount.

Groundbreaking · 21/04/2023 21:22

Weallgottachangesometime · 21/04/2023 18:43

I find this thread so confusing 😂 because I just don’t get it. Why do people want one sex more than another. Is it about sex or the things that people assume come with that sex (eg buying clothes aimed at the sex/doing activities stereotypically associated with that sex).

Before now I don’t think I realised so many people had an absolute preference.

The only preference I had came from having roughly 8000 girl names I loved and 0 boy names!

Mummyof287 · 21/04/2023 21:26

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 21/04/2023 15:59

I always wanted a girl and ended up having two DDs so I was very happy. I would choose girl if given this choice.

Same here!

CoffeeChocolateWine · 21/04/2023 21:26

Boy.

Before I had children, I always thought I would like two DC, but at least one boy. If my first two were girls, I'd probably try for a third.

Anyway, I have 3 DC now, even though my first was a boy! My other two are girls and I love the bones of all of them!

Livingwitheyesclosed · 21/04/2023 21:27

Boy

RoeK · 21/04/2023 21:30

I had a very very very strong preference for a boy when I got pregnant. The only reason I found out the sex was because I was worried if it was a girl and I didn't already know then I'd be disappointed at the birth.

Anyway, in the end he was a boy. I can't really imagine myself with a girl now if I'm honest.

RoeK · 21/04/2023 21:30

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:06

@Colourmylifewith

You are instinctively drawn to your own sex though naturally. Daughters usually also stick around more in adulthood and usually you’re closer to your maternal grandchildren. I have sons and daughters so what will be will be, but I never truly understood women who would prefer a son over a daughter PRE kids. Clearly now as a mother of sons it’s evident I love them all the same.

I'm not instinctively drawn to my own sex.

Spinningaround18 · 21/04/2023 21:41

Girl 100%, I have a girl and don’t want a second child as I can’t imagine having a boy…

Orangery21 · 21/04/2023 21:50

A girl. But would love both equally.

seething1234 · 21/04/2023 21:51

Boy! I have 4 boys, no girls. They are good fun. I find their girl pals a bit draining when they come over on playdates - they talk a lot, lovely kids but when they go home I think 'thank God I have girls'

DeathWinsAGolfish · 21/04/2023 21:57

Girl

thehappyhaggis · 21/04/2023 22:00

Pre-kids I would have chosen to have a boy. I can't really explain why, it just felt instinctively more natural to me. I was brought up with brothers and a lot of male influences so maybe that.

Although I would have chosen a boy, in all reality I just wanted a healthy baby. As it turned out, I got my beautiful son and he will be an only.

user922218 · 21/04/2023 22:10

Girl.
As I was always told 'a sons your son to he takes a wife a daughter is your daughter all your life'

Very old fashioned view however I can't help but notice in my family how the boys don't stay in touch the same way the girls do.

Clevs · 21/04/2023 22:37

I always wanted a boy and that's what I got.

KylieKangaroo · 21/04/2023 22:55

I'd say boy although I have 2 girls, they are so intense!

Holly60 · 21/04/2023 23:13

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:15

@Coffeeandbourbons

Well, me and my mum definitely now have a deep friendship in adulthood. We also have a laugh. I don’t see what’s so bad about a deep emotional bond with someone who is your child. You’re much more likely to attain that with an adult daughter. My sons will be (hopefully) more attuned and bonded with their wives rather than me their mother. It’s possible for adult daughters to be deeply bonded to their mothers and their husbands. It’s not quite so attainable for sons, neither is it healthy. Deeply bonded adult son and mother dynamics usually spells trouble in marriage. Adult sons have to cut those apron strings, it’s essential.

Bloody hell your poor boys.

My brother and my mum still have an amazing relationship - he is married to a lovely woman and he is fully aware that one is his wife and one his mother.

I'm really close to my brother, is that ok in your world??

I also have an adult son and I'm still close to him- he has a wonderful gorgeous wife who I adore and beautiful kids but we still share our bond.

My relationship with him is just as special as the one I share with his sister (and yes I won't lie sometimes it's less complicated..)

Have you mentioned to your boys that they aren't allowed to be close to you once they grow up??

joyfuljelly · 21/04/2023 23:49

We would honestly be happy with either, I think. No strong preference. If I had to think and think I would say girl, just because of the usual dynamics in adulthood I think and I’d like to have a daughter to share things with

ssd · 22/04/2023 00:16

This thread would be interesting in dadsnet

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