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Original poster

If you could have ONLY 1 child a boy or a girl which one would you choose?

246 replies

SleepDreamThinkHuge · 21/04/2023 15:56

Someone asked me this question hypothetically if you had no children and you were only destined for one child what would you choose if you had the chance?

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 21/04/2023 20:06

Men are funnier than women (to me), and take themselves less seriously. They’re less vulnerable than girls and are less likely to go NC with you over something minor, they’re just emotionally a bit tougher

Not my experience but ok.

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:06

@Colourmylifewith

You are instinctively drawn to your own sex though naturally. Daughters usually also stick around more in adulthood and usually you’re closer to your maternal grandchildren. I have sons and daughters so what will be will be, but I never truly understood women who would prefer a son over a daughter PRE kids. Clearly now as a mother of sons it’s evident I love them all the same.

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/04/2023 20:09

I have a boy so I guess a boy but I never had a preference and don't for next time either.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/04/2023 20:09

My experience is that many little boys are absolutely and utterly wonderful; but something happens, possibly in puberty, because many men are horrors.

Coffeeandbourbons · 21/04/2023 20:10

@aSofaNearYou I don’t have a ‘preference’ and have one of each. The reason I’m excited for my son (tiny baby) is because I find men funnier than women. Broadly speaking for deep friendship I go to other women, for a laugh and a good time at the pub I prefer my male colleagues. Too many women can make things a bit serious and emotionally draining. Look at which sex posts the most crying photos and inspirational quotes on Instagram…

Coffeeandbourbons · 21/04/2023 20:11

aSofaNearYou · 21/04/2023 20:06

Men are funnier than women (to me), and take themselves less seriously. They’re less vulnerable than girls and are less likely to go NC with you over something minor, they’re just emotionally a bit tougher

Not my experience but ok.

I was about to say ‘no doubt you’ll say it’s the other way round for you’ but didn’t because I thought it would sound a bit catty 😂

Weallgottachangesometime · 21/04/2023 20:14

Coffeeandbourbons · 21/04/2023 20:10

@aSofaNearYou I don’t have a ‘preference’ and have one of each. The reason I’m excited for my son (tiny baby) is because I find men funnier than women. Broadly speaking for deep friendship I go to other women, for a laugh and a good time at the pub I prefer my male colleagues. Too many women can make things a bit serious and emotionally draining. Look at which sex posts the most crying photos and inspirational quotes on Instagram…

Isn’t that just the way you’re framing it though. Someone else would frame it as “women can express their emotions and men hide them”.

I dunno. I think very very few things are innate characteristics of each sex. I think there is just as much variance in character between people of the same sex as people of opposite sexes.

Colourmylifewith · 21/04/2023 20:15

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:06

@Colourmylifewith

You are instinctively drawn to your own sex though naturally. Daughters usually also stick around more in adulthood and usually you’re closer to your maternal grandchildren. I have sons and daughters so what will be will be, but I never truly understood women who would prefer a son over a daughter PRE kids. Clearly now as a mother of sons it’s evident I love them all the same.

But that’s clearly not accurate, I’m not ‘instinctively’ drawn to girls, nor are a lot of others, as evidenced on here. Also there are plenty of men who are really keen to have a daughter, if your theory was correct we wouldn’t have countless people feeling differently

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:15

@Coffeeandbourbons

Well, me and my mum definitely now have a deep friendship in adulthood. We also have a laugh. I don’t see what’s so bad about a deep emotional bond with someone who is your child. You’re much more likely to attain that with an adult daughter. My sons will be (hopefully) more attuned and bonded with their wives rather than me their mother. It’s possible for adult daughters to be deeply bonded to their mothers and their husbands. It’s not quite so attainable for sons, neither is it healthy. Deeply bonded adult son and mother dynamics usually spells trouble in marriage. Adult sons have to cut those apron strings, it’s essential.

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:17

@Colourmylifewith

I don’t believe it though. I think it’s from defensive mums of sons. I haven’t met anyone in my day to day life who really, really had a preference for a son PRE kids. PRE being the important word here. Good for you and all that but I still think you’re in the minority.

Parentiam · 21/04/2023 20:17

This is a strange question to me

When I was pregnant I really wasn't interested in the gender of my baby and didn't want to know until the day they were born. Honestly had no preference in any case.

Weallgottachangesometime · 21/04/2023 20:19

@Easterfunbun I’m not sure I agree that it’s not healthy for men to have a bonded relationship with their them. I think toxic relationships between men and their mothers are obviously unhealthy. However the same can be said of toxic relationships between women and their mothers or fathers though. Plenty of women have toxic relationships with their mothers (passive aggression/silent treatment/expectations of care etc).
I personally don’t think it is the sex of the adult or child that determines that relation, however societal expectations of each sex might.

Coffeeandbourbons · 21/04/2023 20:20

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:15

@Coffeeandbourbons

Well, me and my mum definitely now have a deep friendship in adulthood. We also have a laugh. I don’t see what’s so bad about a deep emotional bond with someone who is your child. You’re much more likely to attain that with an adult daughter. My sons will be (hopefully) more attuned and bonded with their wives rather than me their mother. It’s possible for adult daughters to be deeply bonded to their mothers and their husbands. It’s not quite so attainable for sons, neither is it healthy. Deeply bonded adult son and mother dynamics usually spells trouble in marriage. Adult sons have to cut those apron strings, it’s essential.

I agree. I didn’t say there was anything wrong with a deep bond. Just that women do tend to be more emotionally draining than men in general.

ellesbellesxxx · 21/04/2023 20:20

motherstongue · 21/04/2023 16:27

A wise person once said to me “it doesn’t matter their gender, you will get what you always wanted, you just didn’t actually know that’s what you wanted until you got it”.

I love this!
I have one of each and I wouldn’t be able to say which… they are both so wonderful

CakesAndCookies · 21/04/2023 20:21

Boy. I adore boys.
Even as a child I could only imagine myself as having boys.
Faith had it that I had one, and he's everything and more ..
Having said that , my sister has two girls, and I love them as if they were mine.

NewNovember · 21/04/2023 20:22

Girl

Colourmylifewith · 21/04/2023 20:22

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:17

@Colourmylifewith

I don’t believe it though. I think it’s from defensive mums of sons. I haven’t met anyone in my day to day life who really, really had a preference for a son PRE kids. PRE being the important word here. Good for you and all that but I still think you’re in the minority.

Why would people lie. I was so hopeful for a boy ( pre kids) and was over the moon that’s what I got, I had a very strong feeling it was a boy anyway whilst I was pregnant, I feel so blessed I was lucky enough to have him 🥰

Sorryyoufeelthatway · 21/04/2023 20:23

Not going to read this thread will be full
of stereotypes and sexist bullshit

Napoleandynamite · 21/04/2023 20:37

Hmm if I knew I could only have one I would have a boy. But given the option to have more than one I’d have two girls or a girl and a boy. I’d worry less about a boy only than a girl only if that makes sense

lucylucyapplejuicy · 21/04/2023 20:42

Girl

SoupDragon · 21/04/2023 20:43

Easterfunbun · 21/04/2023 20:17

@Colourmylifewith

I don’t believe it though. I think it’s from defensive mums of sons. I haven’t met anyone in my day to day life who really, really had a preference for a son PRE kids. PRE being the important word here. Good for you and all that but I still think you’re in the minority.

how many people have you met in your day to day life and quizzed about this?

itsgettingweird · 21/04/2023 20:45

Boy.

And that's what I got!

DietrichandDiMaggio · 21/04/2023 20:47

I don't think many parents who only have a child/children of one sex would choose the opposite sex, because that would suggest dissatisfaction with their own child which they were basing on the sex of the child.

I only have boys and it would be strange to say I'd choose a girl - as it would suggest I'd take any female child over my sons!

ThreeLocusts · 21/04/2023 20:51

cptartapp · 21/04/2023 16:21

Boy.
Stats show men are far more likely to leave the family unit when their offspring are solely female.

Interesting, my father is a case in point. Can you specify these stats?

ThreeLocusts · 21/04/2023 20:53

PS I'm not sure that a man who would have left if there had been a daughter is worth keeping...