MN oldies, what do you wish HQ would do differently?

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I'm not putting this in site stuff because I'm not addressing it to HQ, I'm addressing it to people who've used the site for a few years. By oldies I mean people who've been around for a bit - maybe a couple of years?

For me - it's still that they will NOT housekeep AIBU so that the site doesn't look like nothing but AIBU for everything.

Some people post really serious stuff in AIBU (paraphrasing but AIBU to be upset at this devastating cancer diagnosis/violent relationship/being made homeless/dire poverty/dog poo on the streets/state of the NHS/genocide in x country/shall I abort or not) etc. There is nothing unreasonable about what they are posting.

I've moaned about it for years and years and, yes, I'm still here - there aren't many alternatives and I enjoy the food, travel, S&B, TV, property and chat boards and have received and given loads of useful info over the years. But I probably missed a lot because threads on those topics were posted in AIBU.

And also, I think outside of Mumsnet it makes us a bit of a laughing stock.

So that's my biggest petty gripe. What is yours?

Bonus 100 points for every "if you don't like it you can fuck off" post.

Absolutely. It's hard to post anything with any sense of personal 'tone' (deadpan humour etc) on the main boards - you need to caveat and explain and spell out LIGHTHEARTED!!!! at everything lest people get the hump.

I do enjoy looking back through old Classics threads - the wry spirit was far more concentrated then.

I have requested a TFMR header/option for years. I realise its not relevant to most mumnetters, but for those of us going heartbreaking pregnancy news- speaking to others who have gone through similar is comforting. Having to start a thread in 'pregnancy choices' just isn't right nor the same in those circumstances!

I moved over from netmums several years ago- and even they had such a header option!

Heyyyyy Bibbers me old mucker. How you doin'?

@Ragwort wow! I didn't realise it's been going 22 years, that means it was really quite new when I joined pregnant with DS who's now 20!

I joined on my SIL's recommendation for <whispers quietly> Netmums, only I misheard her and found myself here. I tried the other site but didn't fit in with all the Huns, so have never left.

The only things I would change is to add voting buttons to the app, add PM's to the app and add a like button (I know that's not a popular request, but I'd really like it). 😁

Yes there has been, femvox if you want to google it. It doesn't have the drama or nastiness of MN ... yet.

Me too but I actually think that's true across real life now also

Clear out AIBU - just shift anything that's touching on Relationships by summarily moved it there.

And get rid of the stupid voting. It's now got to the point where posters are taken up for not enabling voting when it was always an option.

I don't like the ads that are now everywhere, especially the 'tell us your opinion on prams' or whatever

They didn't used to be there

Just realised I've been on here for nearly 20 years as DS will be 20 in August. I can't think of anything specific that MNHQ has or hasn't done, although obviously much has changed since I joined - mostly in the past decade.

Haha! I had fogotten about MN Oldies and moldies when I did the thread title.

I have to agree - even though I have an adblocker it seems a little bit excessive to have 10 ads on each thread page.

Because you can name change so easily is exactly why it gets scammers. There have always been trolls/scammers on MN , just think posters are more aware of them. I found MN because i tracked a school uniform fetish troll across parenting sites back in about 2012 and MN was naive enough to be the only parenting site not to ban them when reported at the time.

2007 and 2012

Take off the AIBU voting, as people are using that facility as poll taking, not even remotely an AIBU. It really annoys me when they explain what the YABU/YANBU are as well. Just make a poll section.

Also, immediate ban for anyone using asterisks when swearing. If you can't use a swear word without using them, then don't bloody swear! Or go to nethuns.

You can change your default view to all posts in settings but you can no longer toggle between a shorter default posts per page and all posts which is really annoying, I have complained several times and been told categorically its not coming back.

Been here about 15 years, was part of a spin-off for a long while but never left MN. I get round the ads thing by rejecting all cookies.

I hid AIBU years ago and rarely go there. But I agree that the overall tone is meaner, less humorous. Obviously lighthearted threads get slammed, people who pick maybe a slightly unwise choice of words in their OP get ripped to pieces, people making points that are generally known to be true get demands for "source please", it's hard work.

@bibbitybobbityyhat is that Paloma Picasso in the air?

I suppose I don't want it to go back to how it used to be...19 years here too, because I used to spend far too much time here.

I'd like to see:

Trolls banned rather than posters who out trolls being banned.

It takes a person with a fairly low moral bar to slag off someone who has pointed out that a troll is lying on the health/grief threads and not the lying troll themselves. And it takes a person with the intelligence of a turnip to spout "but what does it matter if they're lying" It matters, and they should be told it matters.

I didn't like the silly in-joke stuff despite my longevity so don't want to return to that.

I'd love a decent RoundUp back. But with the user base being what it is now, that's not going to happen.

Hope you're well @bibbitybobbityyhat (I never did get to that place in Spain...)

there used to be a link to the articles that made it into the newspapers
but that's gone now.

Same here, but as someone said, I think this is true IRL too.

For me, it all went a bit downhill after penis beaker but there's not a lot that HQ can do about that.

It was Just the talk I came from, not Not the talk! Name fail there!

Been here heading for 19 years (under various names and with a couple of longish breaks) and also loving the idea of an oldie being here a 'couple of years' (also thinking of the recent thread over the meaning of 'a few' and 'a couple')

Like others, the AIBU voting, the commercialisation, the emails with the titles of 'interesting' (and sometimes upsetting) threads get on my nerves. I find all that rather icky tbh. A lot of people now seem to feel very comfortable gratuitously sticking the boot in to others and/or expressing a wide variety of racist, ableist, xenophobic and/or classist views. I'd be firmer on that sort of thing and less willing to pull threads on a poster's say-so because they didn't get the response they wanted (obviously genuine privacy concerns are a different matter).

There's still a lot of intelligent straight talking and empowerment for women (particularly those in awful relationships) here which I do value.

MN is a roundabout for me. I come for the humour, and leave because of the bitchiness. Nothing much HQ can do about that though.

Ten or eleven years ago we used to get the laugh out loud funny posts highlights weekly emails from Aitch at HQ. They were brilliant and made me want to spend more time on the site. Staff and users felt like a joint enterprise to have fun or support each other on the site. Staff used to post on random lighthearted or practical threads like any other posters. Not the serious heavy threads in general but maybe sometimes on parenting issues. Staff were MNers.

Ive been here over 10 years (had a different name at the start, changed it thanks to the Jeffrey debacle).

I agree with you about AIBU becoming a catch-all, and other posters about the adverts.

I feel like there are a lot more trolls and right-wing bots around. Recently there have been a number of posts clearly written by ChatGPT. I think certain sections of society have latched onto MN and are using it to drive some unpleasant agendas.

The main example for me is the Feminism / Sex and Gender topic, which used to be much more intelligent and thoughtful. Now it's very combative and frankly nasty, and threads designed to goad / bouy certain views leak onto AIBU and Chat a fair amount. I think this is due to fewer genuine intelligent feminists posting and more bad-faith actors who see a chance to stir up anger and hate. More and more I read threads which sound like they're straight out of the Daily Mail comments section - MN never used to be like that.

I agree with this. I also think posters have become much more aggressive and nastier.
Many really well informed and witty people have left and the tone in general is much less enjoyable:
We’ve been pleading for an edit button which never seems to be considered. I don’t like the endless advertising either but suppose it’s a necessary evil.

Completely agree about the Feminist board.