MN oldies, what do you wish HQ would do differently?

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I'm not putting this in site stuff because I'm not addressing it to HQ, I'm addressing it to people who've used the site for a few years. By oldies I mean people who've been around for a bit - maybe a couple of years?

For me - it's still that they will NOT housekeep AIBU so that the site doesn't look like nothing but AIBU for everything.

Some people post really serious stuff in AIBU (paraphrasing but AIBU to be upset at this devastating cancer diagnosis/violent relationship/being made homeless/dire poverty/dog poo on the streets/state of the NHS/genocide in x country/shall I abort or not) etc. There is nothing unreasonable about what they are posting.

I've moaned about it for years and years and, yes, I'm still here - there aren't many alternatives and I enjoy the food, travel, S&B, TV, property and chat boards and have received and given loads of useful info over the years. But I probably missed a lot because threads on those topics were posted in AIBU.

And also, I think outside of Mumsnet it makes us a bit of a laughing stock.

So that's my biggest petty gripe. What is yours?

Bonus 100 points for every "if you don't like it you can fuck off" post.

Here

you get just the link www.facebook.com

Yes Xenia was fun. Did she get banned? I think a lot of issues could be solved if they had a like button and allowed sorting by likes, because it would probably give less air to the arsy people trying to kill a thread or go off on a tangent. I also slightly wish people weren't so obsessed with every marital issue being domestic violence because the OP says her husband is tired (or something equally innocuous). Cheapens the serious issues somehow, but you can't help what conclusions people jump to I guess.

A wide range of very interesting replies - thank you everyone.

For myself I find the FWR boards more usable now than they were 10+ years ago when there was an extremely rigid toe-the-line atmosphere, IMO.

I know there's nothing to be done about the generally more depressing atmosphere on here. It seems like Active Conversations is 90% bad relationships threads these days and I agree with Floaters that this is perhaps inevitable in the current Zeitgeist.

I defined "oldies" as a few years posting plus because I didn't want to be accused of cliqueyness (sp?) and I think after a few years of posting you do get a general feel for a forum. I definitely didn't want to create a Mumsnet was better in the old days thread because that's been done to death. Just wanted to see other people's petty gripes about the site (which we all acknowledge is pretty good otherwise we wouldn't be here).

I have been here all along, btw - just had loads of name changes like most of us these days.

She's still here. On a thread in HE with her yesterday or Monday.

I do think nowadays we have less "Queens" of boards where one or two set the agenda and nobody was allowed to go against it
Thankfully only one board like it now that I can think of

I never understood the "Queens" thing. How could anyone stop people posting opposing opinions if they wanted to?

I find it annoying not being able to follow a thread of conversation when different people start replying to each other, as every reply goes to the end of the thread. I find Reddit much better for following different spin off conversations, with replies linked directly to their comment.

I’ve been here off and on for years and the single biggest thing which I wish MNHQ would do is move threads to the proper topics and stop allowing AIBU to be used as a catch-all for traffic.

The fact that there are eleven million existing topics which are largely tumbleweed, with frequent requests from users for even more new niche topics makes it even more ridiculous. People might actually get decent answers to serious questions if MNHQ’s refusal to move threads didn’t consistently result in everything being posted in AIBU and chat.

The main example for me is the Feminism / Sex and Gender topic, which used to be much more intelligent and thoughtful. Now it's very combative and frankly nasty, and threads designed to goad / bouy certain views leak onto AIBU and Chat a fair amount. I think this is due to fewer genuine intelligent feminists posting and more bad-faith actors who see a chance to stir up anger and hate. More and more I read threads which sound like they're straight out of the Daily Mail comments section

I agree with this.

My DS will be 21 in July so I've been here since the health visitor recommended this place to me when he was born.

It definitely has changed, in the olden days I wasn't keen on the big names who controlled the conversation, mouldies did us a huge favour there. I do miss some posters though who were intelligent and funny.

I think the humour and intelligence has gone and it's a less supportive site these days. I don't enjoy it as much. I remember sitting at my desk years ago with tears running down my face at some of the hilarious stuff going on and also some of the really supportive gestures, I remember some users going to a mumsnetter's house to help her sort herself out after her husband had died, ExpatinScotland and the online support she received etc, there was real kindness on the boards and a strong sense of community.

I generally stick to the TV pages these days, which is a shame because I live abroad and don't have many English speaking people in my life and sometimes I would like to use mumsnet as a sounding board. The last time I posted about an issue that was really upsetting me and I needed some support, some posters just went out of their way to be nasty. at a time when you're down you don't need it. So that's what I miss the most, the support, the banter, women helping women.

Agree @QueenOfHiraeth - and absolutely love the name!

Been here for TWENTY YEARS fgs. On and off.

think they need a like button.

Because they were a group who would send out a bat signal and either crash onto threads going "well hellair mwah mwah" or just derail with inane in-jokes.
And woe betide you if you upset one of them.

It was quite funny really looking back. But they were vicious. You felt you were finally accepted if one of them agreed with you because that meant they all would.

I knew I’d outgrown it when I hid “parenting “ as an option 😀😀

I really like the relationships topics, also baffled by those threads where a woman hasn’t worked for 20 years because , I dunno? Money or lazy and then is surprised her husband leaves her and she can’t get a job

Oh also hid the fuck out of gender stuff. Soooo boring.

I should maybe never have joined 🤣 then as pushchairs and feeding mush to small humans has never much interested me. Not that I starved them or anything.

The first thread I ever remember posting on was when Kerrymum was trying to get to Croatia on Ryanair for a chess tournament. 🤣

I'd like a LIKE button

Also I'd like to see a limit on name changes.

Yy. Started with a newborn who wouldn’t sleep.
he’s now 6 foot 5. He sleeps.

I have over 200. Lolol

Me too. FML 😂

Someone recently asked me if I UNDERSTOOD HOW MUMSNET WORKED.

I did chuckle to myself

I can’t remember where I saw it, but a little while ago I saw that mumsnet users are about 45% male.

That surprised me.

I wonder if the gradual change in demographic to nearly half being men is the reason for the change in tone/banter?

Did you swish your hair nonchalantly and say "honeychild, I AM Mumsnet" in a Spartacus kind of way? 🤣

Ha! 😂