Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

MN oldies, what do you wish HQ would do differently?

198 replies

bibbitybobbityyhat · 18/04/2023 20:38

I'm not putting this in site stuff because I'm not addressing it to HQ, I'm addressing it to people who've used the site for a few years. By oldies I mean people who've been around for a bit - maybe a couple of years?

For me - it's still that they will NOT housekeep AIBU so that the site doesn't look like nothing but AIBU for everything.

Some people post really serious stuff in AIBU (paraphrasing but AIBU to be upset at this devastating cancer diagnosis/violent relationship/being made homeless/dire poverty/dog poo on the streets/state of the NHS/genocide in x country/shall I abort or not) etc. There is nothing unreasonable about what they are posting.

I've moaned about it for years and years and, yes, I'm still here - there aren't many alternatives and I enjoy the food, travel, S&B, TV, property and chat boards and have received and given loads of useful info over the years. But I probably missed a lot because threads on those topics were posted in AIBU.

And also, I think outside of Mumsnet it makes us a bit of a laughing stock.

So that's my biggest petty gripe. What is yours?

Bonus 100 points for every "if you don't like it you can fuck off" post.

OP posts:
AdamRyan · 19/04/2023 13:26

Wursangweejeez · 19/04/2023 12:53

I’ve been a MNtter for around 8 years and don’t think there’s anything that quite matches MN, I think it’s fantastic.
My only concern is that there appear to be more mysoginistic posts, I’ve noticed it more in “relationships” so perhaps has been infiltrated somewhat by incel trolls which is sad but I suppose inevitable.

Agree with this too. Unless I am now old and the yoof are into being Stepford/surrendered wives

I've been posting here for 12/13 years under lots of names. This one really discombobulated people as they think I'm a man but I've used male names on and off for years with no issues. So that's a difference- people used to be more interested in what you posted than who you might be IRL

Taq · 19/04/2023 13:29

I’m driving to sports direct to get my child football boots, shoul I get adidas or Nike? Responses ‘why are you driving, you should walk’ ‘sports direct is an evil hell holes yabu shopping there’ ‘dc should get a part time job and buy their own’ drives me fucking mad.

Ha! Spot on

SookiPutItBackAgain · 19/04/2023 13:31

I really like MN and if it ever gets too much I delete my account and stay away for a bit.
It's hard work running a site as big as this. I think they're doing a grand job.

The only thing I'd like is if posters put triggering in their title.

SookiPutItBackAgain · 19/04/2023 13:32

Taq · 19/04/2023 13:29

I’m driving to sports direct to get my child football boots, shoul I get adidas or Nike? Responses ‘why are you driving, you should walk’ ‘sports direct is an evil hell holes yabu shopping there’ ‘dc should get a part time job and buy their own’ drives me fucking mad.

Ha! Spot on

That's part and parcel of the fun though! 😂

WhenisitmyturntobePM · 19/04/2023 13:44

SarahAndQuack · 19/04/2023 13:15

I wish they'd be stricter about posts that are plain mean, homophobic or misogynistic. I used to love that MN was full of women who would listen to someone talking about struggling with a newborn or struggling with their marriage, and try to help. I get that 'LTB' became a bit of a joke but it was a really useful counterbalance to all the sites out there that will tell women to put up and shut up, and tell new mothers they should be doing everything.

I'm also really sick of never being able to read threads on certain topics because it is absolutely guaranteed they will be twisted into a lecture on trans issues. I can't post about my (born female, lesbian) DP without someone aggressively turning it into a trans debate; I can't talk about my donor-conceived daughter without someone deciding it's an opportunity to rant about how donor conception is immoral and surrogacy is worse and oh look, trans issues again. I know if I click on what might be a really interesting discussion of how children learn gender roles, it will invariably have been taken over by people who want to shoehorn in a post about how it's all the fault of a trans agenda.

I know that there are people who get off on being loudly anti-trans, but it ruins MN for everyone else who would rather, just occasionally, discuss other subjects. And I honestly think it's opened the gateway to the homophobes, too. When I was first on MN (in about 2008?) I really do think that MNHQ would have deleted posts that were openly homophobic.

Preach, sister 🙏

AliceTheeCamel · 19/04/2023 13:46

I've been on here about 7 years under various names (don't think that makes me an oldie though!)

In all that time I'm amazed they still haven't managed to make the Android app even half decent. Plenty of people don't use iPhones.

Random789 · 19/04/2023 13:48

I've become a worse poster than I was, in the sense that I am much less likely to RTFT before I chip in. I think it is because I know that the thread will be full of hundreds of posters that I don't in any sense know - unlike the old days when there woul be dozens of names on each thread that you were seriously familiar with.
It is also because I have been corrupted by social media, which gets us SOOOO entrenched in the habit of Righteous Utterance instead of conversation.

mistlethrush · 19/04/2023 14:01

I started with a 1 yo who I hoped to have a sibling for... He's now an adult and still an only - didn't work out too bad and MN helped at times get over the losses along the way.

I miss being able to see a thread where I recognise a large number of the posters - or one where I read some advice and then see that it was posted by TW - and realise that's it's not surprising I agreed with it.

I do miss the completely bonkers threads - I probably miss them because the site's so busy and it's not as easy to find the threads that you'd normally find all those years ago.

And I miss the fact that it really felt as though you were simply posting to a group of friends and not as if the Daily fail or others might be reading over your shoulder and plaster it all over the internet if it was a bit of a slow day..

HyggeTygge · 19/04/2023 16:34
  1. edit button for typos

2. prevent people from quoting OP
3. allow reporting and deletion of any post which is completely irrelevant because the poster hasn't read a subsequent OP update OR they completely misquoted or misunderstood the OP. It always sends the thread off course.

Agree with all these. It's so easy to derail a thread if someone fancies it, and so many people fall for it.

Cod · 19/04/2023 16:38

Why is quoting the OP a bad thing?

HyggeTygge · 19/04/2023 16:40

The whole thread is in response to the op, we've all read the op or know where to find it, it's irritating as fuck to see the whole op block-quoted throughout the thread.

Copying bits to respond to is fine but not the whole thing.... makes me irrationally cross!

Cod · 19/04/2023 16:55

Oh I see.

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 19/04/2023 16:57

Yes, the quote function has been a bit of a curse in that way!

I'm not as averse to a like button as lots of people are, I don't really get the arguments against.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 19/04/2023 17:25

I'm sure you used to be able to sort by "I started" Has that gone?

AdditionalCharacter · 19/04/2023 18:28

I joined around the time mouldies had started and Cod left/was banned (can't quite remember which, ''twas all fields back then). Almost 15 years ago!

NotAnotherBathBomb · 19/04/2023 18:33

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/04/2023 20:46

And also, I think outside of Mumsnet it makes us a bit of a laughing stock.

Being a mostly female site which doesn't take any shit means we have to be laughed at. Because it's dangerous.

I like MN how it is. I complained about the Sex Board, they listened. Frankly, I think it's a good balance, which is why it trounces the competition.

Being a mostly female site which doesn't take any shit means we have to be laughed at.

That isn't what the OP said makes the site a laughing stock, did you read it? Not taking shit has nothing to do with poorly moderates AIBUs

SarahAndQuack · 19/04/2023 18:34

AdditionalCharacter · 19/04/2023 18:28

I joined around the time mouldies had started and Cod left/was banned (can't quite remember which, ''twas all fields back then). Almost 15 years ago!

Grin Yes, and people back then were saying wistfully that they had been there years ago, back before it went to the dogs, and 'twas all fields then'.

I suppose maybe there's a whole herd of newer posters who are absolutely delighted with newer MN and feel totally happy. Dunno.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 19/04/2023 18:35

bibbitybobbityyhat · 18/04/2023 20:38

I'm not putting this in site stuff because I'm not addressing it to HQ, I'm addressing it to people who've used the site for a few years. By oldies I mean people who've been around for a bit - maybe a couple of years?

For me - it's still that they will NOT housekeep AIBU so that the site doesn't look like nothing but AIBU for everything.

Some people post really serious stuff in AIBU (paraphrasing but AIBU to be upset at this devastating cancer diagnosis/violent relationship/being made homeless/dire poverty/dog poo on the streets/state of the NHS/genocide in x country/shall I abort or not) etc. There is nothing unreasonable about what they are posting.

I've moaned about it for years and years and, yes, I'm still here - there aren't many alternatives and I enjoy the food, travel, S&B, TV, property and chat boards and have received and given loads of useful info over the years. But I probably missed a lot because threads on those topics were posted in AIBU.

And also, I think outside of Mumsnet it makes us a bit of a laughing stock.

So that's my biggest petty gripe. What is yours?

Bonus 100 points for every "if you don't like it you can fuck off" post.

I also agree with this. Reported yet another 'is this positive' pregnancy post. Many women hide the pregnancy and related topics for obvious reasons.

I simply asked for it to be moved to the appropriate board. It's still there.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 19/04/2023 18:40

EarlGreyAndCucumber · 18/04/2023 21:46

I used to be able to view an entire thread and scroll from top to bottom without having to move between pages to do so. Now that feature seems to have vanished. If anyone can point me to how to do it, I would be most appreciative.

You get this experience on the otherwise shitty app

NotAnotherBathBomb · 19/04/2023 18:41

I wish they would invest in the app. I access the site 97% of the time though the app, and we are missing a lot of features that are available to desktop/mobile site users. It's a rubbish experience

EarlGreyAndCucumber · 19/04/2023 19:36

I don’t use the app, @NotAnotherBathBomb. I have found it matches your description!

VivaciousRadish · 19/04/2023 19:41

I’ve been here a really really long time under different names and even email accounts.

the thing that irritates me the most is the amount of adverts on the TV board

MN oldies, what do you wish HQ would do differently?
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/04/2023 20:07

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 19/04/2023 13:19

Menopause?

Show quote history

Hmmm that's interesting, I've only ventured over there a few times and when I tried posting was told my highly experienced gynaecologist was shit an didn't know what she was talking about and the symptoms I was feeling from HRT gel I couldn't POSSIBLY be experiencing. It was fucking outrageous tbh.

bruffin · 19/04/2023 20:18

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/04/2023 20:07

Hmmm that's interesting, I've only ventured over there a few times and when I tried posting was told my highly experienced gynaecologist was shit an didn't know what she was talking about and the symptoms I was feeling from HRT gel I couldn't POSSIBLY be experiencing. It was fucking outrageous tbh.

Show quote history

That's why i never posted on there.

JaneJeffer · 19/04/2023 21:00

The menopause board is a dictatorship.