MN oldies, what do you wish HQ would do differently?

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I'm not putting this in site stuff because I'm not addressing it to HQ, I'm addressing it to people who've used the site for a few years. By oldies I mean people who've been around for a bit - maybe a couple of years?

For me - it's still that they will NOT housekeep AIBU so that the site doesn't look like nothing but AIBU for everything.

Some people post really serious stuff in AIBU (paraphrasing but AIBU to be upset at this devastating cancer diagnosis/violent relationship/being made homeless/dire poverty/dog poo on the streets/state of the NHS/genocide in x country/shall I abort or not) etc. There is nothing unreasonable about what they are posting.

I've moaned about it for years and years and, yes, I'm still here - there aren't many alternatives and I enjoy the food, travel, S&B, TV, property and chat boards and have received and given loads of useful info over the years. But I probably missed a lot because threads on those topics were posted in AIBU.

And also, I think outside of Mumsnet it makes us a bit of a laughing stock.

So that's my biggest petty gripe. What is yours?

Bonus 100 points for every "if you don't like it you can fuck off" post.

I guess I'm an oldie now. It must be nearly 15 years.

1. Begging threads. Be much more vicious about deleting/locking and least disable PMs of people posting them. They're pretty obvious. The "don't give more than you can afford" message is pretty useless. people who do genuinely want advice take some of it, don't bat everything away.
2. Sort out the raving lunatics on the royalty board. I used to go there for a bit of light reading occasionally. it's now taken over by a half dozen who switch everything to Meghan good/Kate bad. Anything negative Harry published in his autobiography needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, whereas a tabloid posting anything bad about Kate obviously has it from the horse's mouth. It means every thread goes the same way.

Aitch wasn't an HQer I don't think. Just one of us.
Tbh, MorningPaper's were better, but as Aitch herself said when someone got snippy about it, it was Mumsnet users providing the material, so if the RoundUp was shit it was because we were being shit.

Then came the all out commercialisation, like weekly emails from HQ rounding up the most recommended things to buy- which just encouraged paid shills. The HQ tone got more and more bland to appeal to the widest possible user base. And thereby to appeal to widest possible advertisers. Dont know what they did to poor Aitch. It felt like goady fuckers and clickbaity bun fights were let to stand and escalate because they generated clicks.

The relationship between posters and MNHQ has divided and soured a bit over the past maybe ten years and hasn’t ever gone back really - we’re all a bit older and more cynical of each other maybe.

I really noticed the everyday pulling-back from HQ from protecting the user experience- not challenging or making any statement on the Daily Mail’s constant lifting of threads and subsequent threats of loss of poster anonymity in the media which made posters self censor, and us all feel less relaxed using the site.

Horrifically Justine (or I think her nanny as it happened) and some MN posters were doxxed and then swatted overnight at home by men’s rights activists which must have been terrifying. Then the site security itself was revealed to be quite poor- the Jeff hack and then the takeover of the site with several real usernames hijacked and fakeposted from, harvesting of users’ real email addresses, and denial of service attacks taking the whole site offline for several days. It made it feel quite unsafe to be a MN poster at times. I think there was also a lot of sympathy felt for HQ dealing with constantly escalating attacks and reports from several boys and men who were not MN users and were really upset that women were talking online together.

Then there was the intern who worked at MNHQ and was suspected of compromising Feminism and Women’s Rights board users’ privacy specifically, at which point a bit more faith was lost.

I think they should stamp out the posters that think/do 'I don't like your post or your opinion, so I'm going to complain and have it removed'.

They should be told to grow up and that everyone is entitled to an opinion, however much it differs.

It's a dangerous path.

I'd also like signatures.
And numbered posts, so when you see a number next to the thread, and you click the and enter at your bookmark, you know how many more posts there are to the end.
An edit feature.
A button that let's you read a deleted post.

Couldn't care less about a like button, that so many people seem to want.

I'd like the android app to be updated to follow used usernames and to have the voting function, and the see all op posts.

@MNHQ

The relationship now with MNHQ can feel a bit as though they are our managers at work when they are moderating or putting in new features. It’s not any even a slight pretence of an equal or even particularly cordial relationship sometimes which is an inevitable consequence of professionalism maybe.

There is a loss of innocence on both sides which is understandable in the context of the site’s changes over the years which has changed HQ’s tone. It feels like posters are sometimes addressed as though they need to be superficially humoured but essentially curbed or improved for our own good, which isn’t very fun to be around. Sometimes it’s much better than that though.

Definitely your point 2 though I'd say it's 50/50 hating on each of the two women.
Hate speech is hate speech whichever one it is.

Haha NowZeus that is funny and probably very true. Maybe we were all a bit shitter in what we posted

I'd also like signatures.

What on earth for? Hideous clutter.

Edit button, though - yes.

Hello! There are quite a lot of former GUT/NTT/JTTers here now.

Who were you over there?

*I think they should stamp out the posters that think/do 'I don't like your post or your opinion, so I'm going to complain and have it removed'.

They should be told to grow up and that everyone is entitled to an opinion, however much it differs.*

You realise this isn't how it works, right? MN will only remove posts that break talk guidelines or your own threads / posts at your request.

There is no "having something removed because you don't like it".

That era of the early-mid 2010s was beleaguered and when the tone-policing of posters on Feminism and Women’s Rights board really took off; with the sticky placed at the top of the board with posting rules and the new punishments like three strikes and you’re out for a set amount of time or forever.

There were lifetime bans for long term posters who had said truthful things even if they weren’t very kind.- LangCleg and PosieParker were banned forever for posting about safeguarding and women’s rights.

I remember a period of having daily roll call threads for everyone who had survived the banhammerovernight , it was that intense. The fact that a lot of posters persevered or eventually came back showed how valuable the anonymous space to talk (even in a heavily monitored way) was to women. It saw the start of new forums like Ovarit but MN remained so well known it was still the one stop shop to use. I do appreciate MNHQ for keeping it going.

A like button would be misused- frequently.

A limit edit, say 1 minute, would be useful but one thing that has changed for the better is less pedantry.

The world has become less tolerant and mumsnet with it. You used to be able to have intelligent discussions about differences of opinion and maybe they changed minds - now it's all cancel anything you dislike. Not convinced everyone on this thread is genuine because some of the comments are intolerant.

I really dislike email signatures and forum clutter in general. Appreciate the clean and simple format here. I can’t stand the new previewing of links function that’s just been put on. We should be able to choose in settings never to see those

I wish HQ would stop making ‘improvements’ to the site that are anything but.

Been here about 14 years now.

My main wish is that MNHQ would delete threads that attack a 'type' of parent/family. I was on a thread the other day which was basically saying all step families are unhappy. How is that supportive of parents?

I do like the site/users in general, but I think it is less supportive of 'parents' and 'families' than it used to be.

Yes, I get fed up with the improvements that aren't, the previews of links being one (I also hate visual clutter and don't want signatures). The loss of toggling between all posts and posts/per page as mentioned above. The autoformatting that has crept in is really annoying.

Oh agree - I decided today I would type web addresses with spaces to not trigger the previews in my own posts.

No real problem with it as it is.

Tbh I think they do the job as well as they can. There has to be a balance of keeping traffic up and the trolls out and that's a hard one. I feel they have been very heavy handed in the last year with deleting threads but that seems to have calmed down for now.
For the most part I find they actually listen to feedback and I can see their presence on the site. That's very rare for a free public forum. Normally if they're free they're covered in ads which I don't find is the case here.
Sadly, they can't really control who is on here and I have found over the years the atmosphere has become very toxic and divided. I don't really venture out of the education forums much and even within that, it's no where near as supportive as it was even 5 years ago.

I've been on here for 16 years and it's definitely less funny and more politically correct-but then so is life I suppose.
I think it's generally a well moderated site compared to some others and I still enjoy using it-it just doesn't make me laugh as much as it once did.

@Chasingsquirrels THANK YOU!!!

Austerity then Brexit then Covid and now the cost of living crisis understandably helped to kill off the more light hearted tone- along with growing background of more extreme economic inequality in the UK, the housing crisis and climate emergency and the NHS and schools and social care coming apart at the seams. It’s been a time of national anxiety and division reflected in all social media including here.

I definitely dont envy the mods. I think also for example MNHQ couldn’t or didn’t tackle what some posters felt were likely paid shills for Leave over Brexit which really affected the site tone- their posts were really aggressive. It felt as though some of the Leave usernames could be being shared professionally. A variety of different voices, only then to disappear after the vote.. The more toxic the debate the harder the moderator job must be, though.

I wish they promoted the ‘hide topic’ feature more. I’ve just learned how to do it and hidden the Sex and Gender thread and my experience is so much better without all the gender critical bumf.

Theres a little bin in the top right corner the picture link appears when you are typing your post so you can remove it.