Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Mumsnet "stalkers"

200 replies

QuertyGirl · 08/04/2023 08:50

Possibly too strong a word but not sure how else to describe it.

Basically where people follow certain posters about. I've had it a few times and always someone has an axe to grind, often degrading into petty insults.

I ignore them obviously.

Is there a name for this type of behaviour? Should it be reported?

OP posts:
hattie43 · 08/04/2023 08:54

Don't know about stalkers but the ones I think really creepy are those who trawl through a posters back threads trying to get more ammunition for their argument. I mean really who could be bothered . Some people are just too invested .

gkd1234 · 08/04/2023 08:56

I change my username all the time to avoid them.

Florissant · 08/04/2023 08:57

QuertyGirl · 08/04/2023 08:50

Possibly too strong a word but not sure how else to describe it.

Basically where people follow certain posters about. I've had it a few times and always someone has an axe to grind, often degrading into petty insults.

I ignore them obviously.

Is there a name for this type of behaviour? Should it be reported?

Scroll past their posts.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
YellowGreenBlue · 08/04/2023 08:58

I'd change your username if this happens.

gamerchick · 08/04/2023 08:58

I got accused of stalking once, didn't have a clue who they were. When I had a look through their posting history, still had no clues but they thought that proved their point.

If you feel harassed then report them when it happens. If there's a pattern there then it'll get spotted.

Irritateandunreasonable · 08/04/2023 08:59

I changed my name because one used was following me everywhere and to be honest it just got boring. Very strange behaviour!!

SBHon · 08/04/2023 09:00

hattie43 · 08/04/2023 08:54

Don't know about stalkers but the ones I think really creepy are those who trawl through a posters back threads trying to get more ammunition for their argument. I mean really who could be bothered . Some people are just too invested .

I don’t know, there have been times when I’ve been quite grateful for those who have been bothered to search. You start giving genuine advice or support and then another poster mentions things that don’t add up from searching and makes you realise you’re about to waste your time on a troll.

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 08/04/2023 09:09

hattie43 · 08/04/2023 08:54

Don't know about stalkers but the ones I think really creepy are those who trawl through a posters back threads trying to get more ammunition for their argument. I mean really who could be bothered . Some people are just too invested .

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

OP posts:
Pamandherpampams · 08/04/2023 09:11

Yes it’s really creepy - ‘look you posted 7 months ago complaining about your neighbour, no wonder you have a messy kitchen’

change username often is the best advice.

SweetSakura · 08/04/2023 09:16

SBHon · 08/04/2023 09:00

I don’t know, there have been times when I’ve been quite grateful for those who have been bothered to search. You start giving genuine advice or support and then another poster mentions things that don’t add up from searching and makes you realise you’re about to waste your time on a troll.

Show quote history

Perhaps. But people are well advised to change a few details when they post to be less identifiable. So I never understand the criticism when some details are inconsistent.

SweetSakura · 08/04/2023 09:16

SBHon · 08/04/2023 09:00

I don’t know, there have been times when I’ve been quite grateful for those who have been bothered to search. You start giving genuine advice or support and then another poster mentions things that don’t add up from searching and makes you realise you’re about to waste your time on a troll.

Show quote history

Perhaps. But people are well advised to change a few details when they post to be less identifiable. So I never understand the criticism when some details are inconsistent.

NQOTDarling · 08/04/2023 09:18

Yes! I posted something that someone disagreed with and she went through all my previous posts and tore me to shreds! Derailed the original topic and made it personal!

KateFeather · 08/04/2023 09:26

I admit I do roll my eyes when I notice some user names. There are a couple I tend to notice because they have a very one dimensional view and are unable to cope when someone disagrees with them. Always the same and that's without looking them up.

DutchCowgirl · 08/04/2023 09:29

I always change a few details on purpose …. Or sometimes i leave out a few details on purpose, because I don’t want people to recognize my family quarrels on the internet.
A troll-post will have different characteristics i think. It will be mostly about politics, have a sensational nature.

MegIsWhite · 08/04/2023 10:16

KateFeather · 08/04/2023 09:26

I admit I do roll my eyes when I notice some user names. There are a couple I tend to notice because they have a very one dimensional view and are unable to cope when someone disagrees with them. Always the same and that's without looking them up.

I agree.

Also agree with pp about changing names. Some posters take this mumsnet thing too personally.

dew141 · 08/04/2023 10:55

I find it a bit creepy.

I'd posted a minor comment on one thread about never having been a victim of crime in London. I may have cursed myself as I was subsequently burgled a week or so later.

I posted about the burglary on another unrelated thread, along the lines of my Christmas preparation isn't going well as they'd taken all my Christmas presents and there was no time left to replace them.

The poster in question seemingly thought I was being deceitful by not updating the other thread (which funnily enough wasn't top of my list of priorities and I hadn't returned to the thread since my original comment so no pretence that it hadn't happened). Then made a number of strange, pointed comments about the burglary on both threads implying I'd been untruthful - I felt it was slightly heartless to point-score given the circumstances...

Learning point: if you ever post something on MN, and your situation subsequently changes, you must always update every thread you've ever posted on. Or be branded a liar.

CollieFIower · 08/04/2023 10:57

Ha! I had a thread a few months ago (under a different name) talking about something my sister had done that minorly annoyed me and some weirdo ASed my name, found a thread from 2008 (I shit you not) and brought that up on my present day thread to try and make out I was being unreasonable 😂

Xrays · 08/04/2023 10:59

I’ve name changed a few times because I made the mistake of waxing into certain areas of the forum and joining in threads where I hadn’t realised where they’d been posted and basically I then got shouted down and then followed around the rest of the forum with those people telling me effectively how horrible I was. Fed up with it all. I’ve hidden those areas of the forum now and have a much better time here 😁

I also hate it when people pick people apart for saying their child is a year different in age on one thread or another or changing minor details, I do that too, usually to stop being so identifiable. Who bloody cares.

Xrays · 08/04/2023 11:00

Waxing?! Wading!

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 11:02

there was someone who was criticising me, accusing me of something, and said they had seen other posts i had written and they bet i was .. such and such,
whatever

boggling,
it absolutely wasnt in my nature and nor did i make many other posts.
quite bizarre
name change is the best solution and remember there are some absolute weirdos out there!

BlackBarbies · 08/04/2023 11:03

NQOTDarling · 08/04/2023 09:18

Yes! I posted something that someone disagreed with and she went through all my previous posts and tore me to shreds! Derailed the original topic and made it personal!

This has happened to me more than once! I find it so pathetic, who really has the time to be doing all that shit?

I name change frequently or post in 30 Days Only because I’m not interested in some random searching through all my old posts

Mamette · 08/04/2023 11:03

Is there a name for this type of behaviour?

Yes, pathetic.

Honestly, how empty must someone’s life be that they need to do this.

ScentOfAMemory · 08/04/2023 11:06

Nobody is advised to change details.

Everybody is advised (from primary school onwards) not to put information about themselves which may cause privacy problems onto websites with thousands of users.

The "how weird that you AS'd me" has, for the last 20 years, been the default response of the lying troll.

CollieFIower · 08/04/2023 11:09

ScentOfAMemory · 08/04/2023 11:06

Nobody is advised to change details.

Everybody is advised (from primary school onwards) not to put information about themselves which may cause privacy problems onto websites with thousands of users.

The "how weird that you AS'd me" has, for the last 20 years, been the default response of the lying troll.

Well I'm not a lying troll Hmm

i just found it weird AF that someone found a post from 2008 and worked out how old my DC must be now and then trundled onto my 15-years-later thread to tell me it shouldn't matter as my children are teenagers now.

Nimbostratus100 · 08/04/2023 11:09

O yes, I have posted about being

a) 60 (ish!)
b) a geneticist,
c) dyslexic
d) a maths teacher
e) asexual
f) a volunteer caring for immigrants, asylum seekers and refugees

Then suddenly in the middle of an unrelated thread I get posters jumping out with

"AHA! so yesterday you were claiming to be 60 and now you are supposedly a maths teacher! I don't think so!"

Or "how can you be both a geneticist and asexual -suspicious!!"

Or " if you are supposedly a volunteer, than how can you possibly be both dyslexic, and maths teacher at the same time! GOTCHA!"

it is very vey weird and yes, I suspect there is something wrong with posters who do this, but in reality, this is a public space, and people of all types access it, so all you can do is just scroll past them, or if you feel like it and you want to, correct them - not for them, but for anyone else reading, who might be left, for example, with the impression that they cant consider being a maths teacher if they are dyslexic.

And, yes, change your user name if it is getting in the way of your enjoyment of the site

Swipe left for the next trending thread