Mumsnet "stalkers"

[QuertyGirl]

Possibly too strong a word but not sure how else to describe it.

Basically where people follow certain posters about. I've had it a few times and always someone has an axe to grind, often degrading into petty insults.

I ignore them obviously.

Is there a name for this type of behaviour? Should it be reported?

@Nimbostratus100 is being targeted because she made the mistake of not entirely agreeing with the group think on one particular board. They hunt in packs on there.

they do @Lamplit

I think trollhunters (and some stalkers) are usually more about proving themselves publically right and more clever than everyone else vs the other poster wrong. It’s usually super boring and derails everyone else’s conversation. See Exhibit A on this thread.

Yes, I had a stalker. Woman I knew, our DSs were at primary school together. occasional group of mums afternoon tea arrangement. Pleasant.

I posted something 6 years ago concerning my concerns regarding my then 15 yr old DS. By this stage my contact with this woman was twice a year group get-togethers. Tea, the odd wine.

But 2 years later, when DS was 17, she, who has never mentioned MN, found what I'd posted re my concerns about my DS (from 2 years previously); sent it immediately to her son, who gleefully forwarded it to my DS, out of nowhere. Along with 'wait til I tell the other guys 😂😂😂'. I told DS it could only have come from MN, which he challenged this woman's son with, to which he said 'Um, no, no! It just popped on my feed!' Yeah. Sure.

DS was distraught. It caused a huge issue in the family. I contacted the Head of Sixth Form who (I now know) spoke to my stalker's son to warn him that if he carried through his threat and distributed this, he'd be in trouble. So the boy didn't.

Bear in mind, to this point, we, stalker and I, had had zero axe to grind. Nothing. I thought we were slightly removed mum-friends.

I still don't know what drove her to do this. The only insight I have is from a mutual friend, who knows my stalker's 'close relative', who apparently said 'That's very HK Chinese'. 😳

My only revenge has been to spell this incident out to the other mums in that 'friendship group', who have all been suitably outraged. I don't see them anymore, the group served its purpose.

I now don't use key identifier words.

I kind of hope she sees this.

that's terrible @Fordian
precisely why i try not to share
things happen - i just try not to divulge them here any more

She’s clearly a weirdo. It’s a horrible thing to do to someone.

I’d never post an issue on here that my kids were having though, they would lose all trust in me. I’m always surprised how much personal info people share about their families on here and other SM, I wouldn’t be happy for them to put my personal life online and I know they wouldn’t be either. Once it’s online, it’s potentially no longer private, even on an anonymous forum.

Haha literally😂 talk about proving a point!

I find it quite depressing that some women are adamant that those of us saying we are solicitors / doctors etc must be lying. The is assumption presumably is that mothers wouldn’t be doing those jobs. Frankly if I were lying I would invent a far more interesting job then a solicitor

I agree. It comes across as a bit sad and pathetic to me.

It makes me smile a bit because I think in the ‘gotcha’ moment where they’re trying to show off to the rest of us, it misses the part where most people have already noticed and don’t care, or just don’t care. Sometimes I’m finding the thread interesting for other reasons. It’s like watching a drama on TV and someone jumping in to tell you why it’s unbelievable. Like an annoying bluebottle.

I used to have a stalker on here. If I said day
was day she would argue it was night. She posted a whole load of homophobic comments on another thread . I reported and MN took them down. Not seem much of her since.

I change my username frequently as I know she’s not the only stalker on here.

It’s only on one of the feminist board that your username is important. Some of them seem to think they are mumsnet famous.

There are some great women on the feminist board to be fair who take no shit when it comes to standing up for women and children.

There is no way to verify who they are. We can’t even prove they are real women 😂

Yeah, I’m glad that the people who don’t name change on the FWR boards exist. I’m too cowardly to not do so. I salute them.

Ha. Real Women. Adult Human Female then? Sounds good to me.

We can usually spot the men. On and offline. Anyway, other conversation.

It really does depend what it is, sometimes it’s relevant to the thread and it’s an important topic. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter.

The point I was making is there is no way to prove that they are are standing up for women’s rights in the real world. Unless we start believing what an anonymous women on a forum writes. I’m just not that naive. But at least this forum gives them a place to go.

If they really are fighting in the real world we wouldn’t be in the state we are now. Time to put into action what they claim to do on here and actually turn it from a talking shop into protecting real women and girls.

Many people have been introduced to feminist topics from Mumsnet. People that will then go on to either have conversations with others all the way up to attending rallies, raising issues in their workplaces, even bringing court cases. As you said, we don’t know who everyone is. We know who some are. It’s a safe place for women in dangerous times.

I know the ones I’m talking about in real life. They’re mothers, so yes, real women, that is the old style women that are of the adult human female variety.😉

Same

ive ‘met’ a number if the fwr women

however, i do agree that generally on here there is no way of telling what qualifications people have, whether they are lying about their jobs etc

We’re talking about MN stalkers. Not who you know in real life 😂

But as this is a parenting form you might not be surprised to know that many of us also know mothers. In fact some of us are actual mothers ourselves

I frequently name change, I didn’t start doing it till that weird hacking incident quite a few years ago, I had my original name for years, but that really changed the site.

I have had what I would call 3 very distinct parts to my life going in to a 4th. Some parts do sound quite fantastical so I don’t write everything.

I wish it was a safer place. I feel MN is only a safe place because of the excessive moderation that goes on. I’d be interested to see how the site was if MN wasn’t so heavy handed in policing what women say.

The fight isn’t over though.

You brought up the feminism board and said some of them think they’re famous. I simply said that I know some of the posters over there, maybe some of the ones you’re talking about. Standing up for women and children how some of them do, seems to rub certain posters up the wrong way. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

We’ll just have to take you at your word that you know some random women from an internet forum.

It’s so easy to make wild claims on the internet when you have no way of backing yourself up.

Don’t worry. I’m off to name change so you can’t stalk me