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Original poster

Mumsnet "stalkers"

200 replies

QuertyGirl · 08/04/2023 08:50

Possibly too strong a word but not sure how else to describe it.

Basically where people follow certain posters about. I've had it a few times and always someone has an axe to grind, often degrading into petty insults.

I ignore them obviously.

Is there a name for this type of behaviour? Should it be reported?

OP posts:
MyDarlingClementine · 08/04/2023 13:23

Good thread op yes it's a huge problem esp when they seem to get upset " have we heard of this problem before".

And then search a users history and post loads of back threads which sort of makes the op vulnerable to being outed and goes against the beauty of an anonymous site.

It' can only be a small handful of posters surely! I don't know why mnhq doesn't do more about this type of poster because they ruin mn

MyDarlingClementine · 08/04/2023 13:24

I've learned the hard way to always name change, change details, sex of dc and so on.

knittingaddict · 08/04/2023 13:27

Nimbostratus100 · 08/04/2023 11:09

O yes, I have posted about being

a) 60 (ish!)
b) a geneticist,
c) dyslexic
d) a maths teacher
e) asexual
f) a volunteer caring for immigrants, asylum seekers and refugees

Then suddenly in the middle of an unrelated thread I get posters jumping out with

"AHA! so yesterday you were claiming to be 60 and now you are supposedly a maths teacher! I don't think so!"

Or "how can you be both a geneticist and asexual -suspicious!!"

Or " if you are supposedly a volunteer, than how can you possibly be both dyslexic, and maths teacher at the same time! GOTCHA!"

it is very vey weird and yes, I suspect there is something wrong with posters who do this, but in reality, this is a public space, and people of all types access it, so all you can do is just scroll past them, or if you feel like it and you want to, correct them - not for them, but for anyone else reading, who might be left, for example, with the impression that they cant consider being a maths teacher if they are dyslexic.

And, yes, change your user name if it is getting in the way of your enjoyment of the site

So did you claim all those things?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Nimbostratus100 · 08/04/2023 13:28

knittingaddict · 08/04/2023 13:27

So did you claim all those things?

Show quote history

I am all those things - why would I not be?

knittingaddict · 08/04/2023 13:30

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 12:39

i dont think we are here to discuss one particular poster though

I bet that's how it will end up though. A certain person will make sure of that.

Riapia · 08/04/2023 13:34

Have you posted about this before.
Seems familiar.
😁😁😁

Redebs · 08/04/2023 13:38

I often use Advanced Search, because I'm genuinely interested in what's really going on with posters. If someone posts a thread looking for validation on an issue that doesn't feel right, then looking at their history can stop you from wasting a whole load of advice or sympathy on someone who doesn't need it. I assume that's why the facility exists.

If we are to take every post on face value, it gets shallow and manipulative.

TremulousD · 08/04/2023 13:40

Jonei · 08/04/2023 13:09

I think there's a difference between remembering a poster for whatever reason and commenting on that, and actively stalking them, rooting through their past posts.

I agree. For example, off the top of my head I can name a fairly prolific poster on the Royal Family board, but I've never AS-ed her. When her name pops up on another board then yes I do recognise her name, and just leave her be. And I certainly don't then go back to the Royal Family board and raise that information.

I name change regularly because I post a lot on FWR and I know that it's 'monitored' by some very unpleasant people in the outside world who would just love to dox the women who use it if they could.

Jonei · 08/04/2023 13:41

TremulousD · 08/04/2023 13:40

I agree. For example, off the top of my head I can name a fairly prolific poster on the Royal Family board, but I've never AS-ed her. When her name pops up on another board then yes I do recognise her name, and just leave her be. And I certainly don't then go back to the Royal Family board and raise that information.

I name change regularly because I post a lot on FWR and I know that it's 'monitored' by some very unpleasant people in the outside world who would just love to dox the women who use it if they could.

Show quote history

Name changing sounds sensible to me.

Babyroobs · 08/04/2023 13:43

To be honest I barely look at user names. So for example if someone was nasty to me on one thread, I don't take a mental note of their username and notice them on another thread !

RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 13:44

I’m glad posters do it sometimes, there’s a lot of fantasists on here.

What really confuses me about them is that they don’t name change when it’s so easy to. They could so easily lie and not be caught out, but maybe they like the drama it causes, maybe that’s part of the fun for them, all that attention.

Dead relatives that have come back to life, multiple high flying careers, children that come and go, they can’t e or f to post this shot and if not be picked up.

RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 13:45

*expect

RedDirtWildChild · 08/04/2023 13:46

last sentence should say

they can’t expect to post this shit and it not be picked up.

Nimbostratus100 · 08/04/2023 13:46

Babyroobs · 08/04/2023 13:43

To be honest I barely look at user names. So for example if someone was nasty to me on one thread, I don't take a mental note of their username and notice them on another thread !

I rarely look at names either, someone commented that \i had disagreed with them on several threads once, and asked if it was personal, and I just has to say, sorry, total coincidence, I didnt even read your name..

TremulousD · 08/04/2023 14:02

I know your name @Babyroobs because you are so incredibly helpful!

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 08/04/2023 14:03

KateFeather · 08/04/2023 09:26

I admit I do roll my eyes when I notice some user names. There are a couple I tend to notice because they have a very one dimensional view and are unable to cope when someone disagrees with them. Always the same and that's without looking them up.

Absolutely . Anyone who spends a lot of time on MN, particularly if on particular boards is bound to recognise the names of other posters - particularly those whose posts you either tend to always agree with, or always disagree with. In fact it can be a bit disconcerting if you have always been in agreement with a poster on one topic and then see them on an unrelated thread and discover they hold completely different views (eg you are in agreement politically but then discover they hate dogs !)

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 15:40

agree, with posters you recognise as agreeing with you on one thread, lambasting you on another thread!

Florissant · 08/04/2023 16:03

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 11:21

thirdly, I think you have just demonstrated the type of behaviour we are talking about here 😂

it does seem to be a prime example!

Hardly. @Nimbostratus100 started a thread that I posted on yesterday, so the thread is still fresh in my mind. In this thread, the poster claimed to be a geneticist (although demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge about the subject) and to "severely dyslexic". Other posters called into doubt the poster's claims.

itwasmeeee · 08/04/2023 16:15

TremulousD · 08/04/2023 14:02

I know your name @Babyroobs because you are so incredibly helpful!

Yep. Same here. I recognise a hand duo of names tbh and @Babyroobs is one I know for good reasons

Nimbostratus100 · 08/04/2023 16:23

Florissant · 08/04/2023 16:03

Hardly. @Nimbostratus100 started a thread that I posted on yesterday, so the thread is still fresh in my mind. In this thread, the poster claimed to be a geneticist (although demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge about the subject) and to "severely dyslexic". Other posters called into doubt the poster's claims.

Show quote history

and why exactly do you consider it unlikely that someone can be both a geneticist and severely dyslexic? as well as 60, and a maths teacher etc etc

JimmyDurham · 08/04/2023 16:28

gkd1234 · 08/04/2023 08:56

I change my username all the time to avoid them.

This. I never keep a username for more than a year and I've been on here (with gaps) since 2014.

JulieHoney · 08/04/2023 16:35

There are a few posters I instantly recognise by writing style, despite not paying much attention to usernames.

The one who sulked through a Chinese takeaway his boyfriend’s brother bought and cried because he wasn’t asked for id when buying booze is so distinctive I usually click after a couple sentences.

Then there are the legends of FWR like Datun and TinselAngel and all the rest, whose posts are always worth reading.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 08/04/2023 17:04

QuertyGirl · 08/04/2023 08:50

Possibly too strong a word but not sure how else to describe it.

Basically where people follow certain posters about. I've had it a few times and always someone has an axe to grind, often degrading into petty insults.

I ignore them obviously.

Is there a name for this type of behaviour? Should it be reported?

It's happened to me and I find it amusing. The best thing is to point and laugh. Mind you, I like poking twats with a stick.

Hotcrossed · 08/04/2023 18:05

Florissant · 08/04/2023 16:03

Hardly. @Nimbostratus100 started a thread that I posted on yesterday, so the thread is still fresh in my mind. In this thread, the poster claimed to be a geneticist (although demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge about the subject) and to "severely dyslexic". Other posters called into doubt the poster's claims.

Show quote history

it is not relevant, dont bring your particular gripes to this thread,
it is not a good look

Florissant · 08/04/2023 18:15

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