Mumsnet "stalkers"

[QuertyGirl]

Possibly too strong a word but not sure how else to describe it.

Basically where people follow certain posters about. I've had it a few times and always someone has an axe to grind, often degrading into petty insults.

I ignore them obviously.

Is there a name for this type of behaviour? Should it be reported?

No one on this thread had mentioned her and her various occupations, situations and threads until she turned up on this thread and mentioned it.

While it could be claimed that on a previous thread that she had been subjected to AS ‘stalking’ I don’t think that can be claimed here.

@PriamFarrl

Nah, still creepy.

I know a doctor who retrained as a teacher.

And? No one is saying that can’t be the case. It’s more a problem when people are asserting things as fact based on their knowledge when a little bit of research shows that they are making stuff up.

I recall during covid that people were desperate to know when the schools were going back. There were so many people claiming that then were head teachers and had had letters saying that schools were opening next week/ after Christmas or whatever. They weren’t head teachers, who didn’t get any such letter, they were bullshitters.

There are some tremendous bullshitters claiming to work for the DWP. They can do some real damage to potential claimants (notably those who have disabilities and are asking about PIP), unless someone like babyroobs comes on the thread and gives the correct up-to-date advice.

I do report those bullshitters to MNHQ, and try to keep an eye out for them.

I'll give an example of why someone may AS a poster . Somebody posts about an event which may be upsetting or traumatic, perhaps fleeing a DV relationship or illness if a family member . Something that instinctively you may want to offer advice - or at least your support . But as you read through the thread you see things are moving very quickly in their situation and they are constantly updating their thread, generally at times you wouldn't expect them to . In this situation I will AS the OP, if they are a frequent poster I will likely think they are genuine and add my support to their thread, but if their UN doesn't show then I won't get involved.

The thing is, in this case a native English speaker would naturally use two different tenses for their self-description - I am a teacher, I was a doctor.

Someone who says ‘I am a teacher’ and ‘I am a doctor’ both in the present tense SOUNDS (whatever the truth of the matter) less credible.

And that really is damaging and should be called out.

I've noticed this with posters who exclusively post in threads on a particular subject (like politics, race, or benefits) and seem to have an agenda in posting.

The Meghan Markle obsessives do this a lot, I've noticed. I once posted something neutral to vaguely positive about her, and until I next namechanged every single thing I posted, about anything, would spark the most vicious unhinged attacks. I could post in a 'what did you have for tea' thread and the anti-Meghan lot would come along to post a big rant picking my grammar to shreds, saying I was obviously poorly educated and thick as bricks, my diet was awful, I was probably fat. All stopped the minute I name changed, of course. The posters who regularly post defending Meghan get the craziest abuse and stalking, I don't know how they cope with it.

such off putting tales on here
grim

The woman whose social media was linked to did some revenge stalking and sharing and all hell broke loose. I didn't blame her as it was so cruel, but the revenge went too far and crossed lines.

The reasoning and justification from these people was that they shouldn't have made themselves so easy to find and so deserved it.

So the AS here is fine by comparison if you're only using to check background in a sensitive area and not just stalking and searching.

That's kind of what I do, if someone is being a dick, or too sensational I may have a little look at AS, but mostly take posts at face value

I don’t know where people get the time from to do all this stalking and agree with whoever said the ‘troll hunters’ seem to think they are much cleverer than everyone else when most aren’t remotely interested or care.

To blame the victims of doxxing for making themselves ‘easy’ (hmm) to find is classic victim blaming and just because stalking on here is not as bad doesn’t make it right. I guess this proves that lots of weirdos exist in this world and online anonymity gives them freedom to up the weirdness.

Haha has there been a name change fail on this thread?

To blame the victims of doxxing for making themselves ‘easy’ (hmm) to find is classic victim blaming and just because stalking on here is not as bad doesn’t make it right. I guess this proves that lots of weirdos exist in this world and online anonymity gives them freedom to up the weirdness.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I have never an instance of doxxing in the eight years I've been on MN. And using a search function on a social media site is hardly 'stalking'.

To clarify: doxxing of MNers by another MN. I know of the time that an intern released details of people who did not agree with her political views.

I agree. The only doxxing has been the pissed off intern and Jeffrey the hacker. I do think there have been occasions where someone has recognised themselves, and therefore the poster and then contacted MNHQ.
I don’t recall there being a case of someone saying ‘PosterX is Joanne Smith of 21 The Avenue, Surbiton’.

I'dd forgotten about Jeffrey the Hacker. Quite a useful reminder. Thank you.

Obviously I was referring to the post about people being linked here from
elsewhere.

I once had an argument with someone about a subject I know a lot about. They used quotes from something I had written myself to back up their point, but were misinterpreting it. Obviously I couldn’t tell them why I knew so well they were wrong, but it was a surreal moment in my life.

This person put in A LOT of work; she must've spent hours cross-matching me, over different user-names. If you're a long time MNetter, you'll know that there have been periodic huge bust ups, resets etc. over more than a decade. Name changing isn't necessarily trolling.

I'd admire her tenacity if it wasn't for her interest in causing huge upset. Thankfully long resolved within my family; I and my DS learned lessons that day.

Still why? Lok. Why? I did nothing but support you and your clever son. Yet- you chose to do this. Thankfully I will never see either of you again. But I still feel betrayed by what was supposed to be 'supportive mums-group'.

@RedDirtWildChild

'I’d never post an issue on here that my kids were having though, they would lose all trust in me. I’m always surprised how much personal info people share about their families on here and other SM'

I hear you- but- one of the founding principles of Mumsnet was 'mums helping mums'. I was 1-2 years into it, post founding. It was a group of mums looking for help and advice about our experiences. It rescued me from from dark days. I almost got a ban, once, years ago; but no, the mod said 'We have reviewed your previous posts and recognise that you have offered kind and constructive advice in your posts'.

Now it's almost like Twitter on here.

I would still like to believe that a mum/parent could bare their aching soul here, and hope that it wouldn't result in your kids 'losing all trust in me'- because they wouldn't know. Unless you were stalked?

I hope you never, never say anything negative or worrying to anyone, ever, about your child in case it might ever, ever make your child 'lose their trust in you'.

Good luck with that.

I know, but 'the things that happen' are often the things you want advice about, on MUMSNET, from older, wiser women and mums.

If you want to post random shit on the internet, you go to Fesshole on Twitter.

You'd hope you shouldn't have to avoid a tenacious 'join the dots' fanatic on MN. Esp an erstwhile friend. With zero axes to grind.

I don’t need your sarcastic luck 😊

I just don’t share info about those close to me that they don’t want me to. I only trust a very small circle of people in real life, I still wouldn’t share anything about my kids with them without my kids knowing about it and being ok. I only discuss my kids personal stuff with their dad. Definitely not online, too may weirdos out there.

I know, but 'the things that happen' are often the things you want advice about, on MUMSNET, from older, wiser women and mums.

I don’t think mumsnet posters are wiser than me, maybe that’s it. 😂

I NC regularly these days but I did have a poster who seemed to like following me across threads a few years back. She seemed to be obsessed with the idea that I was a troll (I never have been) and would make subtle digs towards me on almost every thread I was on, no matter how innocuous my comments were. It was so strange.

I also had a PM calling me a cunt once. I had no idea who the poster was so couldn’t figure out how I’d offended them but it turned out a number of posters all on one particular thread had received identical PMs. I can’t remember what the thread was about any more but I know it wasn’t a heated thread with lots of strong opinions so the PM was baffling to us all!