Page 38 | What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 2023-04-06T17:28:52+00:00

Just that really...... Mine was a few years ago and I'm still [confused] whenever I think about it. My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway. We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency. When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise. When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day [confused] Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!! What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 10/04/2023 21:14

@SpicedPumpkinLatte breastfeeding is not the same as "exposing your body". Very rarely do people see anything, the baby's head covers mostly everything and they'd have to be pretty damn close and peering in to see!
If the chap was on the other side of the room, and actually getting on with his work rather than staring at her, it shouldn't have been a problem. He just wanted to make her uncomfortable I think.

I was sitting next to a couple in a cafe today with very tightly squeezed in tables and didn't even notice she was feeding at all until she made an "ouch" sound when baby must have nipped her nip! I certainly didn't see any boob out at all. Not that it would have bothered me anyway, as that's what boobs are made for, NOT for men to comment on.

LakeTiticaca · 10/04/2023 21:33

Daverl1980 · 10/04/2023 20:53

Sadly this is a daily occurrence for a lot of us Jews, along with comments about being tight, jokes about pork and kippahs, but I digress.

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How awful. I don't understand why some people have a problem with Jews?
When I lived in Manchester our near neighbours were Jewish and were always inviting us over, a real friendly bunch of people. Went to a couple of parties they hosted and ended up crawling home around 4am the following morning 😉

Mamamia32 · 10/04/2023 21:33

Stewball01 · 10/04/2023 16:57

My sister had her birthday party. One of the mother's came early and sat in the kitchen eating cake and drinking tea with my mum.
When the girl's birthday larrived she said to my sister I can't invite you. You're Jewish. My mum doesn't allow Jews in the house.

I would have spread that story about at the school gates and made her a social pariah, awful!

michellevictoriaturner · 10/04/2023 21:34

QueenBeaver · 09/04/2023 08:49

I went to stay with an ex-friend once. It was a one bedroom flat and I was on the pull out sofa in the living room. I woke up fairly early and her and her boyfriend were still asleep. By midday, they were still in bed and I’d been treated to two rounds of them loudly having sex. I was so hungry at that point that I was about to chew my arm off so I searched the kitchen and found one egg and one slice of toast which I used to make a boiled egg and some soldiers. I left not long afterwards as I was so fed up.

Another friend was so tight when I used to go out clubbing. There was about 5 of us who used to live in the same direction so we’d shared a black cab home. Only she’d point blank refuse to chip in. It was a case of either walk three miles home or leave her behind which we’d never do. It was only about £4 extra between 4 of us but it was so annoying given that she was happy to have the ride.

Then there was the time that we went for a meal with DH’s mate. DH, I and DS had paid in cash and left a tip. Stingy mate lingered behind and we saw him use the tip to pay for his meal. The worse thing was, he was getting the meal paid for by his work on expenses!!! So he was fraudulently claiming the money.

Sorry, none of mine are from home. I don’t think I’ve actually got any.

I had a similar one on a first joint date with a friend. My friend met this guy who she hadn't given her number to, he'd phoned round all the types of business she said she worked in to find her. When she said yes I said she was mad, so she asked me to go with her and I (stupidly) agreed. So we double dated.
The guy this guy brought with him was a complete ass. We were at a Chinese, and we'd put our sauce on a pancake but waited for him to come back before getting any duck (he'd gone for a smoke). When he cake in he took the entire duck. We sat there and looked at each other with our pancakes just with sauce.
The entire night was like this, we basically had to grab to get anything but he was quicker and took most of the food. They were complete idiot's as well.
Got to the end of the night, bill came and the guy just stared at it for ages. I said nothing, but my friend stupidly said "do you want some money?" Even though we'd barely eaten anything. He of course said yes. So we paid half for a bit of rice and small spoon of something, when they'd eaten a full 3 courses.
He then asked for a VAT receipt and his mate loudly said he was going to claim it back. So he basically made money from us for this crappy meal.
When we left he had the cheek to ask for a lift, about 30 miles away. Thankfully my mate wasn't being pushed over at that point so said no and we left quickly.

He kept calling after and didn't know why she never wanted to see him again 🙄

Fernticket · 10/04/2023 21:53

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 10/04/2023 21:09

*No.

A thousand times no.

It is NOT women's job to pander to men's feelings about breastfeeding.
Men do NOT have the right to forbid women to do anything in their own homes, & this ridiculous pussy-footing about male 'sensitivities' is one of the chief enablers of male entitlement.

Men's feelings do not trump women's rights & freedoms.

If this man had a problem, it was up to him to make himself scarce. It was NOT up to him to even comment, let alone negatively, & to tell a woman - a customer! - what she is allowed to do in her own home is outrageous.*

👏👏👏👏👏

Once again for the Incels at the back ...

THIS ⬆️

CountingMareep · 10/04/2023 22:09

Mamamia32 · 10/04/2023 21:33

I would have spread that story about at the school gates and made her a social pariah, awful!

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Have we suddenly gone back to 1930s Germany? 😱

Tempting though it might be to apply a certain N-word (no, not that one, the four letter one) to that particular personage, and spread the tale around, I suspect such actions would blow up in your face.

There are (hopefully) more effective (and official) ways of ensuring such vile behaviour is never condoned or tolerated.

Antiquiteas · 10/04/2023 22:14

CountingMareep · 10/04/2023 22:09

Have we suddenly gone back to 1930s Germany? 😱

Tempting though it might be to apply a certain N-word (no, not that one, the four letter one) to that particular personage, and spread the tale around, I suspect such actions would blow up in your face.

There are (hopefully) more effective (and official) ways of ensuring such vile behaviour is never condoned or tolerated.

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Wait, what? Have I got this right? You’re likening the behaviour of the person suggesting that letting everyone know the women was a vile antisemite would be Nazi-ish, as opposed to the actual vile antisemitic woman’s behaviour?

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 10/04/2023 22:25

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 10/04/2023 21:14

@SpicedPumpkinLatte breastfeeding is not the same as "exposing your body". Very rarely do people see anything, the baby's head covers mostly everything and they'd have to be pretty damn close and peering in to see!
If the chap was on the other side of the room, and actually getting on with his work rather than staring at her, it shouldn't have been a problem. He just wanted to make her uncomfortable I think.

I was sitting next to a couple in a cafe today with very tightly squeezed in tables and didn't even notice she was feeding at all until she made an "ouch" sound when baby must have nipped her nip! I certainly didn't see any boob out at all. Not that it would have bothered me anyway, as that's what boobs are made for, NOT for men to comment on.

Doesn't matter. If a woman doesn't want to feed her baby in front of a stranger, that's fine.

Mamamia32 · 10/04/2023 22:28

CountingMareep · 10/04/2023 22:09

Have we suddenly gone back to 1930s Germany? 😱

Tempting though it might be to apply a certain N-word (no, not that one, the four letter one) to that particular personage, and spread the tale around, I suspect such actions would blow up in your face.

There are (hopefully) more effective (and official) ways of ensuring such vile behaviour is never condoned or tolerated.

Show quote history

Calling out anti semitism is literally the opposite of 1930s Germany?

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 10/04/2023 22:35

@SpicedPumpkinLatte

My point is that it wasn't his place or right to tell her to do anything. Whether she chose to feed in the same room as him or not, it's her decision, not his. His comments were outrageous.

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 11/04/2023 01:11

Placemarking

Obki · 11/04/2023 01:20

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 10/04/2023 22:25

Doesn't matter. If a woman doesn't want to feed her baby in front of a stranger, that's fine.

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Where has anyone said a woman should feed her baby in front of a stranger even if she doesn’t want to?

Allergictoironing · 11/04/2023 06:59

I can see many men being uncomfortable about seeing a woman breastfeeding, mainly due to upbringing. However they can politely explain it makes them feel uncomfortable, and leave the room while the feeding completes.

In this case, apparently the workman used the word "disgusting"; as a pp said, makes you wonder how he was fed and/or any children of his as babies were.

boringingoring · 11/04/2023 07:13

Stewball01 · 10/04/2023 16:57

My sister had her birthday party. One of the mother's came early and sat in the kitchen eating cake and drinking tea with my mum.
When the girl's birthday larrived she said to my sister I can't invite you. You're Jewish. My mum doesn't allow Jews in the house.

It doesn't make it much better, but having been bullied for (among other things) being Jewish as a little girl, and unless there's more to the story regarding the behaviour of the mother, I would guess that this came from the daughter, not the mother. When they want to be mean, children are excellent at shifting the blame elsewhere.

Agree with PPs' points about a prevalence of antisemitism generally, though, sadly.

ScottishLavender · 11/04/2023 08:06

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Downunderduchess · 11/04/2023 08:26

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 10/04/2023 22:25

Doesn't matter. If a woman doesn't want to feed her baby in front of a stranger, that's fine.

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Did you read the post that started this discussion? It was about a man telling a woman what to do in her own home with her baby. He was there working, or meant to be. 100% none of his business. Who the fuck did he think he was?

Mookie81 · 11/04/2023 08:37

Thread is also massively derailed by breastfeeding.
People who just have to respond and feed the fire are just as much CFs.

Jewnicorn · 11/04/2023 09:07

Daverl1980 · 10/04/2023 20:53

Sadly this is a daily occurrence for a lot of us Jews, along with comments about being tight, jokes about pork and kippahs, but I digress.

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I wish I could say I was surprised. Sorry it happened to you though.

Antiquiteas · 11/04/2023 09:12

Downunderduchess · 11/04/2023 08:26

Did you read the post that started this discussion? It was about a man telling a woman what to do in her own home with her baby. He was there working, or meant to be. 100% none of his business. Who the fuck did he think he was?

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He called her disgusting for breastfeeding her baby in her own home.

ThatsExyKim · 11/04/2023 09:41

honeylulu · 10/04/2023 15:00

I hope no one minds me asking about the bum jug. Surely pouring a stream of water down your bum crack isn't going to provide enough agitation to remove any stubborn debris, as it were. I've used the "bum gun" things in Thailand and they were very effective but it seems to be the force of the water that enables the cleaning rather than the water itself. Or is it with the jug you are supposed to dip your hand in and then agitate bum crack with your hand to remove debris? This isn't intended to be offensive, it's just the sort of thing I've wondered about and can't ask anyone in real life.

I also have questions about this!

Is the jug used in conjunction with toilet paper? Pour then wipe? Because pouring only would not fully clean anything!

SpicedPumpkinLatte · 11/04/2023 09:50

Obki · 11/04/2023 01:20

Where has anyone said a woman should feed her baby in front of a stranger even if she doesn’t want to?

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I was replying to a poster who was criticised for saying she wouldn't feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of a tradesman. I agree the man doesn't have the right to tell her where to breastfeed, but other women don't have that right either.

Sceptre86 · 11/04/2023 10:23

It was a Bank Holiday and I would have been about 15. My dad had the day off so took us to the cinema as a treat and then we were going to Pizza Hut. Money wasn't plentiful and this was a rare treat. After we watched the film, mum switched her phone on to numerous missed calls from one of her sisters. She rang back worried that something had happened to one of my grandparents. Nothing was wrong. My CF aunt decided to visit from Middlesbrough without telling us, was surprised that we weren't in and had scaled the fence and got into our garden. neighbour challenged her and she said it was OK as she was my mum's sister. She was most irate that we weren't home. We had to cancel the pizza hut trip and rush home where my mum started to cook to bloody feed them. My mum asked why she hadn't phoned ahead she said it was because we were always in. Aunt then asked why I was in a strop and didn't like it when I said because she'd ruined our evening and we'd really been looking forward to eating out. I got told off by my mum after she left bit my dad told her that her sister was a CF and at least I had said something when she should have. Said aunt is dead now but was the definition of a CF when alive and really didn't like being challenged for it.

SkyandSurf · 11/04/2023 10:52

It would be swell if the last 50 posts on this thread could be about CF behaviour in people's homes, and not:

breastfeeding (especially how men feel about it 🙄)

Christianity and when to use the lord's name.

animals dying terrible deaths; or

frankly anything that isn't CF behaviour in people's homes.

There is a world wide web out there- please find another corner of it if you want to discuss any of the above.

PurpleEmpress · 11/04/2023 10:59

SkyandSurf · 11/04/2023 10:52

It would be swell if the last 50 posts on this thread could be about CF behaviour in people's homes, and not:

breastfeeding (especially how men feel about it 🙄)

Christianity and when to use the lord's name.

animals dying terrible deaths; or

frankly anything that isn't CF behaviour in people's homes.

There is a world wide web out there- please find another corner of it if you want to discuss any of the above.

All that’s needed now are those Thigh women from some years ago who used to arrive on threads and completely derail them

SkyandSurf · 11/04/2023 11:08

This one isn't mine but my mother's.

She had a cleaner that came every Wednesday. My mum wasn't thrilled with her because she cut corners but was too nice to say anything so just kept employing her for years. She was also unreliable and would change the time and day all the time.

Once she pushed the clean back to the following Tuesday (instead of the normal Wednesday). She then returned on Wednesday (mum assumed she would use the time to do a deeper clean or organise something). I happened to be there dropping off some food. The cleaner arrived, looked around the kitchen, declared everything was still clean from the day before, slid the full four hours cash payment into her pocket and left saying she'd be back next week.

I told my mum - she was annoyed but still not willing to do anything about it. Then the cleaner did the same thing a fortnight later- basically she'd worked out she would get paid twice for the one clean if she kept pushing the day back.

It takes a lot for my Mum to sack someone- but she finally managed to do it after that!