What is the most CF behaviour someone has shown when visiting your home?

[Imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really......

Mine was a few years ago and I'm still whenever I think about it.

My youngest had started primary school a few months prior to the event and she had got a bit friendly with one of the other children in the class and as a result I had got to know their mum quite well, in terms of chatting in the playground anyway.

We had storm one morning on the school run and as it was much closer to my house than hers I invited her back for a cuppa till the storm passed. I put the kettle on to boil and then went to the loo, then had to take an "urgent" phone call from my eldest school for some reason or other, can't remember what exactly and it certainly wasn't an emergency.

When I was upstairs I heard some clattering around in the kitchen and then heard a sizzling noise.

When I went back downstairs she was frying bacon. She hadn't asked, I hadn't offered and it meant she had gone through my fridge and cupboards the first time she had been to my house. When I asked what she was doing she said she was hungry and hadn't eaten that day

Safe to say I didn't ask her to come back after that!!

What CF behaviours have others shown in your home?

My GP's neighbours once woke up to the smell of bacon to find a burglar cooking bacon in their kitchen

One winter when it was freezing cold outside I got home to see a friend of my neighbour waiting outside in the snow so I asked if she wanted to warm up in my house until neighbour got home.

I offered her a cup of tea which she declined but she asked if she could have some food. I made her some toast and she then had a cigarette from a packet my mum had accidentally left in the house (she did ask first).

We heard the neighbour get back but she didn't leave straight away, I eventually had to say "I can definitely hear neighbour, you should go see her now" and she finally left.

Fast forward to a couple of days later and she shows up at my door again, says neighbour isn't there but could she please have another cigarette and some more toast.

I thankfully was about to leave the house so I just told her that I couldn't help as I was going out. She didn't come back again.

Sister came to stay with her new boyfriend. I cooked a nice meal, we had wine. Boyfriend got pissed (he and my sister drank 5 bottles of wine between them) and proceeded to lecture me about how city people shouldn't interfere in countryside issues. He was from a rural area where I am also from originally as is my sister but he seemed to have forgotten that. Also no one had criticised or even mentioned the countryside.
After the lecture everyone went to bed. The next day he didn't get up till 3pm and then they had to go.

I was glad when she broke that engagement off.

Had friends and their children over for Sunday Lunch. All was going well and lunch would be ready in half an hour.
The eldest child and her Dad decided that they couldn’t wait and made themselves scrambled egg on toast, getting in my way to do so.
They both ate the Sunday lunch afterwards but I still found it very disrespectful.

Scrambled egg dad is worse than bacon lady😱

She had already started to cook it so I just buttered some bread and made sandwiches rather than wasting it.

She probably wouldn't have wanted to come back after you gave her a buttered bacon sandwich. That's a sure fire way to end a blossoming friendship

My house was for sale.

The estate agent showed round 2 parents and their 5yr old.

The child, still with her shoes on, climbed on our bed and started bouncing. The parents laughed, which was bad enough. The EA then started encouraging her to jump higher.

Contract cancelled.

I'll preface this by saying that I'm not overly precious about 'CF' behaviour and usually am not that bothered by it so wasn't hugely bothered by this either, we thought it was quite funny.

DP had said to a colleague that he was putting some of our garden furniture to the furniture charity shop and they apparently piped up and said they'd take it - absolutely fine. He turned up with his wife who came in, started picking up random things (a vase, cushions, books etc) and just kept saying " are you getting rid of this as well?" - to which I said no just the garden furniture, we've ordered a bigger set so need it out the way, thanks for coming to get it etc.

Then she saw an occasional chair on the way out and stopped to say how much she liked it. I said thanks, we should use it more really as we hardly sit on it and I do like it, and told her where we got it. She responded with " well if you don't really use it then you surely don't really need it - I'll give you a tenner for it" - it was really expensive to buy too. I think at that point we realised we'd made an awful mistake and ushered them out with the table set as quickly as possible and collapsed laughing once they'd gone.

DP said that as they were leaving apparently she was complaining that we didn't tell her that it needed a repaint (I don't think it did really, to be honest).

An awful self entitled colleague turned up once as we were in middle of renovating kitchen, she had her 2 kids with her and lectured us about safety and power tools and young children......she wasnt invited, we dont have any children at home now.....all very bizarre....i asked them to leave as it was obviously a hazard for them all......never seen her since and blocked her etc....awful woman.

Well good, I didn't want her back in my house after she helped herself to my food anyway

FIL back in the early days in our relationship/ marriage.
Gas lit and criticised me.
Ridiculed my house - how clean it was etc
Criticised my cooking, my food choices, where I shopped , what I wore , what I said , how I behaved.

All in my own house.

I put up with it . For years. Husband followed suit albeit thankfully he’s a lot better now.

Yep. I need a fuck ton of therapy in allowing it in the first place.

She probably wouldn't have wanted to come back after you gave her a butteredbacon sandwich. That's a sure fire way to end a blossoming friendship

It's not a bacon sandwich if it doesn't have butter on it. * *

Mumsnet is a terrible place.

None as bad as bacon CF but a few. Fellow nursery mum and her son came round for the afternoon. She dropped her tea and broke the cup. It was an accident fair enough but I was a bit bemused that he response was to laugh and say "looks like you'd better buy some new cups!" Then her son crapped himself. I lent a pair of my son's pants and trousers for him to go home in. The trousers were never returned annoyingly as my son was really fussy about trousers and I could only order them from a particular place and they weren't cheap. A few weeks after she asked if I was doing a birthday party for my son. I said probably and she replied "oh good I want to do some decorating that weekend and it would be handy to drop him off at yours for the day ". The day!!! The child who shat himself!! Guess who didn't get invited?

Had a friend visit my city once for a conference and she stayed with me. I was working for some of her visit so I gave her a set of keys and told her to let herself in and out.

About six weeks later, I came home on a Friday evening and she was sitting on my couch!

Turned out she’d had a key cut from the set I’d given her when she was staying.

I’ve fared okay on the CF front in my home but a few years ago kids of my neighbour ruined my really pale carpet as they were allowed to run around with raspberries, rather than sitting at the table while eating them (as I politely asked they do - twice) or if they wanted to play having the food kept at the table and not taking no for an answer. There’s only really so much you can say when parents aren’t parenting their kids and I didn’t want to overstep the mark as I had already asked more than once and even said “That’s going to stain” and even “I’m worried about them choking!” which I felt interfering/undermining saying! Nope - they still were left to run riot - stamping raspberries into the carpet in the process.

Years ago I was sharing a house with my then best friend. I came home from an evening in my parents to find a pair of naked strangers shagging on the couch.
I asked who the hell they were, and they said “don’t worry we’re going upstairs now to the bed” - my bed! I threw them out there and then. Apparently my friend had met them in a nightclub and let them come to ours to have sex. If I’d been a few minutes later they would have been in my bed.

I'm good at laughing off a CF so they don't get past me - but they still tick me off. They rely on people feeling too awkward to say anything. I've never felt that awkward!
A couple stick in my mind.

1. Had a few friends over for drinks and takeaway. One friend only wants chips as they're not hungry. I always over order as I like it best day. Friend sees leftovers and offers to take them home as we clearly have too much! Oh, how I laughed and said, Ah, you're so thoughtful but that's my lunch tomorrow". She swiftly left. She had def planned it and was pissed off. Barely saw her after.

1. "Friend" hijacked my wedding photographer to get free photo session of her baby.

1. Neighbour's 5 year old knocks on door - "my mum says you'll look after our ducks when we're on holiday". When are you going on holiday, I ask... in half an hour! I did look after them as I love animals.

To be fair it sounds like you were trying to dump heavy shit on a relative stranger and she disrupted the pity party before she had to deal with it because she didn't want to listen to anything so serious or didn't have the bandwidth for it. Maybe it's the way you've explained it though.

This is far beyond CFery but does fit the bad guest category.

A few years ago my friend and I brought two male friends back to mine for drinks after the club. (Just drinks!) and a lad we didn't know jumped in with them. From the moment we got back and I'd handed out the beers, he got into a big discussion about British women's lack of religion and morals, calling women of my race whores who sleep around and have no respect, how they aren't modest and walk around with their tits out etc. When he eventually got up to use the loo we told our friends to get him the hell out. Confusion ensued. He wasn't their friend and they had assumed he was ours. Nope. Just a rando following a group and getting free drinks! He came back into the room, got another beer and made a rude comment about my pet fish (a 15 year old beloved goldfish!).

The lad was immediately escorted out by our two friends and the interloper spewed racist insults as he was shoved outside. Then we found my fish was dying. The shithead had poured bathroom bleach into the tank.

I heard that he tripped and fell a few times that night though. I assume he didn't realise that our male friends were in fact, the local gypsies and quite enjoyed tripping people up on occasion. 🤷‍♂️

Reminds me of a burglar in our local area stealing a leg of lamb from house one and leaving it on the stairs of house two. How random to have been burgled but gained Sunday lunch.

I can't beat the op, but my sil is a nosy cf and has form for snooping around people's houses when she visits. She is a lot older than me and we aren't particularly friendly but she used to call in occasionally. On her last visit she went upstairs 'to use the loo' then came down with an outfit from my wardrobe, asking could she have it as she had never seen me wear it. It was brand new, I had bought it to wear to a freiends wedding! No embarrassment whatsoever about rooting in my wardrobe.

A friend of ours used to cycle to our house, turn up all sweaty and then use the hand towel in the bathroom to dry his face 🤢

They brought their dog to visit (without asking but anyway).... Their dog pissed and shit inside my house. They spotted it, and then left without cleaning it up.

My MIL was babysitting once shortly before Christmas. We had been sent a lovely John Lewis hamper by a relative (not MIL). While we were out (all of 3 hours) MIL fancied some chocolate, opened our untouched Christmas hamper, dug through it to find chocolates, opened the box, and ate them.

I was horrified, I tell you. Horrified.