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Original poster

Farting in bed.

183 replies

tokka · 02/04/2023 20:53

Chatting with a close friend a few days ago over a coffee. We've known each other for years so nothings ever off topic.

She was taken aback when i disclosed that for years I've farted in bed and my DH ( who also farts in bed too ) isn't bothered in the slightest.

Would this be a deal breaker for you? Or are you also Teamfartinbed?

OP posts:
SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 03/04/2023 03:22

Definitely team fart in bed! DH & I judge each others’ on length, volume & tonal quality! We laugh a lot generally & certainly about farting!

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 03:27

Ewew
How Rank ! 🙄

Obnoxious how some people are ! 🥱

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 03:29

I don't get how Flatulence can be even mildly amusing, quite frankly !

Bepis · 03/04/2023 03:36

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 03:29

I don't get how Flatulence can be even mildly amusing, quite frankly !

Each to their own. Everyone has a different sense of humour. I don't get how people don't find farting funny.

WandaWonder · 03/04/2023 03:39

It is not exactly by choice so yeah I have done

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/04/2023 03:39

If I sneeze I'm farting.

Yep, if you're out in public, you just have to try to sneeze as loudly as possible, in the hope that it will 'win' in the noise stakes!!

Each to their own. Everyone has a different sense of humour. I don't get how people don't find farting funny.

Same here!

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 03:59

It's the shame sneezing doesn't out win flatulence,

If someone does accidentally let's one slip,

It's obviously 🙄 good manners to go to the toilet or to take oneself immediately outside, making a plausible excuse,

It's down to Respect and common decency really....
Its quite offensive to do otherwise,

Mumma · 03/04/2023 04:13

If i held them in id explode! I never understood why people wont in front of their partners. Its just a fart!

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 04:29

@Mumma
It's just not a fart as you put it ever so eloquently dear,

It's offensive as can be,

Its Like a stink bomb...

Riapia · 03/04/2023 04:32

Bed is the best place to fart.
Cotton bedding is more absorbent than items of clothing.
😉😁😁

Bepis · 03/04/2023 05:00

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 04:29

@Mumma
It's just not a fart as you put it ever so eloquently dear,

It's offensive as can be,

Its Like a stink bomb...

Not offensive to everyone though. If both find it funny then why not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Pollywoddles · 03/04/2023 05:02

We think farts are hilarious but we don’t fart freely in front of each other and certainly not in bed, that’s just disgusting.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/04/2023 07:54

OnaBegonia · 03/04/2023 01:10

Burping isn't something either of us would do openly either. It's just grim imo.
What?? do you manage to hold it in??
Very odd.

I would think most adults have control over whether they openly burp or do it discretely or in another room. I don't sit at the table and burp loudly and neither does anyone else in the family.

Hoolihan · 03/04/2023 08:03

No-one has said they never fart, however I don't deliberately fart in front of people and always found it particularly disgusting having to get into a bed that smelt like a toilet with ex-H.

He also sniffed his snot and swallowed, burped, scratched his arsehole, clipped his toenails, picked his nose, picked his teeth, ate with his mouth open, all in front of me because he had no manners/no standards. So it wasn't just the farting to be fair.

My bedroom now smells of fresh bed linen and lavender, it's heavenly.

ozoruk1 · 03/04/2023 09:06

I agree @Goodread1 not funny in the slightest - I don’t find toilet humour of any kind appropriate or amusing.

farnhamgal · 03/04/2023 11:05

Zizz · 02/04/2023 22:47

I trained my first DH not to fart in my bed - every time he did it, I pulled all the covers off him and sprayed the area with air freshener! He soon learned to use the bathroom... yes, we're divorced now, but that's not why - honestly!

My current DH is allowed - he's disabled and leaping out of bed to fart elsewhere isn't going to happen.

You do realise that you fart in your sleep right?

Your poor ex.

farnhamgal · 03/04/2023 11:06

tolerable · 02/04/2023 23:29

no way-never would i ever

Sorry to say, you are wrong.

You have farted in bed. Unless you are nocturnal and never sleep. And no it doesn't smell of roses.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/04/2023 11:10

It's obviously 🙄 good manners to go to the toilet or to take oneself immediately outside, making a plausible excuse,

What's the point in going to the toilet when you only need to fart? That's the equivalent of queuing for a private fitting room cubicle in a clothes shop when you only want to try on an overcoat.

KimberleyClark · 03/04/2023 11:12

Bepis · 03/04/2023 03:36

Each to their own. Everyone has a different sense of humour. I don't get how people don't find farting funny.

Show quote history

Me neither. We are always amused when my DB’s lab comes to stay that he doesn’t bat an eyelid when either of us farts. He is obviously accustomed to a free-farting environment. Mind you he’s no slouch in that department himself.

Scalottia · 03/04/2023 11:15

Sweet89 · 02/04/2023 22:55

We love to fart in my house. They just fall out of my DS, and my partner likes to lift his leg up for added effect, and I quite enjoy doing them in bed and wafting the smell over to him, very funny 😁

Fucking rank, honestly.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/04/2023 11:15

We think farts are hilarious but we don’t fart freely in front of each other and certainly not in bed, that’s just disgusting.

If you both/all find farts hilarious, why do you then deliberately avoid sharing the hilarity? Surely you wouldn't hear a good joke and think "DH would find that one very funny indeed - I will be sure not to tell it to him!" ?!

Cherryblossomtreesforever · 03/04/2023 11:16

14 year old boys are definitely the worst!
I know. I have one!

clocktock · 03/04/2023 11:25

I'm currently the fart tennis champion three takeaways in a row right now

Enfys1982 · 03/04/2023 13:22

There’s nothing more satisfying than a good fart. If you can’t comfortably fart in your home then where can you?

threeplusmum · 03/04/2023 13:24

Disgusting, it's not ladylike to openly fart and stink up the place.