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To think there isn't an excuse for an adult to live filthy

240 replies

bubblec · 30/03/2023 20:39

Let's put aside the vulnerable who for obvious reasons can't be included in this discussions. + not a shame post for people who do genuinely like to be in a clean environment but sometimes work and family gets in the way.

Why is it that grown adults who are more than capable of cleaning, just CHOOSE to be dirty and live In such environments that are clearly very unhygienic.

Even worse why does society treat some grown adults like they are little children who 'tried their best'. Your telling me a grown adult can't programme as an example, how to fix the bed in a decent manner that doesn't look like a 4 year old done up.

I am raging because I am in a position where I like to keep things decently clean and liveable whereas the other person has 0 care and then gets left on me because I know they simply don't care enough.

It should be a very bare minimum!!

Throw your thoughts ....

OP posts:
Bimbleberries · 31/03/2023 18:51

Not necessarily disgusting to change bed sheets only once a month if you shower before you ever get in them, and don't sweat much, and wear pyjamas? I mean, I probably like to do it more often as it's a nice smell and feeling to get into clean sheets, but I don't think I'd be that disgusting if I didn't. They barely get dirty! People live in different ways, and different things bother them. Some people are lazy. Some don't mind a few germs. It's really up to you and your household how you like things and how you manage them. Some might rather a cleaner home but just have trouble getting around to it, or just prioritise other things. It doesn't make them wrong and you right.

pncr · 31/03/2023 18:53

Please stop quoting and tagging me. Thank you.

bubblec · 31/03/2023 18:53

Choconut · 31/03/2023 18:43

grown adults not being able to fix the bed the way a grown up should

Had to laugh at this, I feel like you should be some uptight character off Motherland. I couldn't get my knickers in a twist over it tbh.

It really not that difficult. You don't need 100 pillows or to sit and iron out each wrinkle but come on, it's a very basic job. Now imagine that and then getting praised for it like 😣. It's like washing the dishes and then leaving everything else out and food bits still in the sink.

OP posts:
bubblec · 31/03/2023 18:56

Bimbleberries · 31/03/2023 18:51

Not necessarily disgusting to change bed sheets only once a month if you shower before you ever get in them, and don't sweat much, and wear pyjamas? I mean, I probably like to do it more often as it's a nice smell and feeling to get into clean sheets, but I don't think I'd be that disgusting if I didn't. They barely get dirty! People live in different ways, and different things bother them. Some people are lazy. Some don't mind a few germs. It's really up to you and your household how you like things and how you manage them. Some might rather a cleaner home but just have trouble getting around to it, or just prioritise other things. It doesn't make them wrong and you right.

Sorry I have to disagree. Once a month is actually disgusting. Just an example, I don't sweat in the night and my sheets don't actually smell but my children do and my partner and honestly the next day they have a smell, now imagine I left that for one whole month. Once every 2 weeks is the recommended, that shouldn't be too difficult. I personally like the fresh smell and feel so I tend to change every week but that's just me being extreme.

OP posts:
bubblec · 31/03/2023 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

pncr · 31/03/2023 18:58

Please can you stop quoting and tagging me. Thank you.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 31/03/2023 19:02

What's yo ur argument because it sounds like you like treating yourself and every post come out with more things as to why you can't clean. Your not really helping yourself tbh

Since when did anyone have to justify themselves to you?

bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Bimbleberries · 31/03/2023 19:04

bubblec · 31/03/2023 18:56

Sorry I have to disagree. Once a month is actually disgusting. Just an example, I don't sweat in the night and my sheets don't actually smell but my children do and my partner and honestly the next day they have a smell, now imagine I left that for one whole month. Once every 2 weeks is the recommended, that shouldn't be too difficult. I personally like the fresh smell and feel so I tend to change every week but that's just me being extreme.

yeah, but the point is, that's YOU.
I don't sweat much, I wear pyjamas, I live alone, I shower before bed. So it's really up to me. My standards might be different to yours. I might like it more if I change the sheets as the fresh smell is nice, but really, it's an individual thing. As are most of these.

So some people are lazy. Some never learned how. Some have different standards. Some can't be bothered. So what? Don't shack up with them if you don't like it.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 31/03/2023 19:07

I think you need some cooling down time. Stop trying to argue with a stranger online and plan something nice for the weekend

My irony meter just exploded. Oh wait, it's half term, isn't it?

bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:07

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 31/03/2023 19:02

What's yo ur argument because it sounds like you like treating yourself and every post come out with more things as to why you can't clean. Your not really helping yourself tbh

Since when did anyone have to justify themselves to you?

Exactly my point. I never asked for her justification and on numerous posts keeps trying to tell me the same thing.

If people want to intentionally miss the point and defend their ways of living then that's your problem not mine. I am entitled to have my opinion and if that hurts you, then maybe you got to question why. 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:08

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 31/03/2023 19:07

I think you need some cooling down time. Stop trying to argue with a stranger online and plan something nice for the weekend

My irony meter just exploded. Oh wait, it's half term, isn't it?

Indeed it is :)

OP posts:
BeautifulWar · 31/03/2023 19:08

Wow, this is so difficult to follow. I'd spend less time getting hot and bothered over messy bedsheets and brush up on how to form coherent sentences to be brutally honest.

magicthree · 31/03/2023 19:12

bubblec · 30/03/2023 21:09

Getting tired of repeating myself like a broken machine over the bed. I've clarified in a number of posts now so please take a few second to read before completely missing the point. I am not going to repeat anymore :)

Not everyone has the same standards regarding cleaning and tidying. As long as hygiene hasn't gone downhill there is nothing wrong with not racing around picking up every crumb and constantly cleaning things. I couldn't bear to live with someone who was obsessed with housework.

As for beds - the only time mine gets made is when I change the sheets!

bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:13

BeautifulWar · 31/03/2023 19:08

Wow, this is so difficult to follow. I'd spend less time getting hot and bothered over messy bedsheets and brush up on how to form coherent sentences to be brutally honest.

It's MN doesn't really matter. If the grammar police want to pull me up. Then you do that lol..

It's pure amusement to me that you think I'm hot and bothered. I was simply making a point, and if that point is getting you hot and bothered then maybe do something about it.

On that note, I do need to make dinner

OP posts:
PipMumsnet · 31/03/2023 19:15

Hello and thanks for the reports on this thread.

Discussions like this often get heated but we'd like to remind you that Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier. While we encourage healthy and robust discussion, we hope that everyone can respect each other in their choices and/or views and express these without resorting to goading behaviour or personal attacks.

Peace and love 💐
MNHQ

BeautifulWar · 31/03/2023 19:18

It's MN doesn't really matter. If the grammar police want to pull me up. Then you do that lol..

It's pure amusement to me that you think I'm hot and bothered. I was simply making a point, and if that point is getting you hot and bothered then maybe do something about it.

Presumably, people have to understand what you've written though, otherwise what's the point in writing a post?

No, your point isn't making me hot and bothered, but perhaps it would if I could understand it!

magicthree · 31/03/2023 19:19

It's MN doesn't really matter. If the grammar police want to pull me up. Then you do that lol..

Well, I have also had difficulty following your sentances. That doesn't bother me, what does is that you are so insistant that cleaning and tidying is so important that you continue to rant about it - but other people are more bothered about good grammar. Why does what you think important trump what others think is important. To be honest you sound like very hard work.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 31/03/2023 19:20

bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:13

It's MN doesn't really matter. If the grammar police want to pull me up. Then you do that lol..

It's pure amusement to me that you think I'm hot and bothered. I was simply making a point, and if that point is getting you hot and bothered then maybe do something about it.

On that note, I do need to make dinner

Well done, OP. That's a pretty near instant improvement in your grammar, syntax and punctuation from your last post. Congratulations, what a fast learner.

bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:20

BeautifulWar · 31/03/2023 19:18

It's MN doesn't really matter. If the grammar police want to pull me up. Then you do that lol..

It's pure amusement to me that you think I'm hot and bothered. I was simply making a point, and if that point is getting you hot and bothered then maybe do something about it.

Presumably, people have to understand what you've written though, otherwise what's the point in writing a post?

No, your point isn't making me hot and bothered, but perhaps it would if I could understand it!

I don't think you need to worry about people not understanding me but thanks for caring enough to point it out :)

OP posts:
bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:25

magicthree · 31/03/2023 19:19

It's MN doesn't really matter. If the grammar police want to pull me up. Then you do that lol..

Well, I have also had difficulty following your sentances. That doesn't bother me, what does is that you are so insistant that cleaning and tidying is so important that you continue to rant about it - but other people are more bothered about good grammar. Why does what you think important trump what others think is important. To be honest you sound like very hard work.

So if I said I was dyslexic & English isn't my first language, would you still continue to mock my sentences ? Or are we only picking and choosing wan to accept now days ? My sentences make perfect sense and if I misplaced my commas and full stops then very sorry you must have really struggled to get this far down.

I think my post have triggered you a little and your trying to deflect. Move on

OP posts:
RiktheButler · 31/03/2023 19:26

I've just read 8 pages and I still don't know what the hell yhe thread is about. Is it cleaning in general? Is it about your actual partner? Does he not care of not bother because you constantly tidy? Who is actively praising poor standards? I feel like about 50% of the story was never posted....

bubblec · 31/03/2023 19:26

@magicthree
Oh & maybe make sure to spell sentences right in your post before jumping on me :)

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 31/03/2023 19:27

Why are people talking about ADHD? She said in her opening post that she wasn't talking about vulnerable people. She has said since that she doesn't think her husband has ADHD.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/03/2023 19:27

The one thing that affects me negatively, above all else, is being surrounded by visual noise and clutter all shrieking at me for attention. Make the environment cleaner and calmer and I'm more likely to be able to function like a relatively normal and useful human being for the majority of the working day. Have it messy and cluttered and I'm paralysed because I don't know where to look or think, especially if you add in noise and multiple conflicting demands coming in thick and fast.

I grew up in a noisy dump. My home is clean. The bed has the covers drawn up just before I leave for work after the window has been open wider to let more fresh air in, everything gets changed once a week without fail and I do not leave plates or mugs lurking and always clean as I go when I'm cooking (if DP has left it in a mess, I either have to clean it or I refuse point blank to deal and he has to clean and cook). Actually seeing clean surfaces and floors gives a good hit of dopamine and activity that has results, such as having a clean, uncluttered line of sight, even if done in 2-3 minute bursts, is a good way of calming down some of the incessant pinging in my brain.

This sounds like a case where, because the OP hasn't said 'My husband thinks cleaning is woman's work and refuses to do any because he knows if he leaves it long enough, I'll have to do it so the children can eat', she's getting 'You're OCD', 'You're ableist', 'You're too uptight' and berated for expecting a middleaged man to get off his arse and wash some plates up rather than leave them for the Maid Service to deal with (before disappearing off to moan at some random about how his wife Doesn't Understand Him and she's Always Nagging/a Bit Crazy about cleaning).

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