To think there isn't an excuse for an adult to live filthy

[bubblec]

Let's put aside the vulnerable who for obvious reasons can't be included in this discussions. + not a shame post for people who do genuinely like to be in a clean environment but sometimes work and family gets in the way.

Why is it that grown adults who are more than capable of cleaning, just CHOOSE to be dirty and live In such environments that are clearly very unhygienic.

Even worse why does society treat some grown adults like they are little children who 'tried their best'. Your telling me a grown adult can't programme as an example, how to fix the bed in a decent manner that doesn't look like a 4 year old done up.

I am raging because I am in a position where I like to keep things decently clean and liveable whereas the other person has 0 care and then gets left on me because I know they simply don't care enough.

It should be a very bare minimum!!

Throw your thoughts ....

My partner and I have different versions of cleanliness. He can live with dust and unhoovered floors for longer than me. He likes things to be tidy and dishes cleaned.

we play to our strengthens. He now appreciates a clean house. We did a big clean when I moved in as easier to keep on top of it now.

Yes, leaving out the folk with ADHD etc, there are then just the lazy feckers of which I count myself as one. Could do better would be my own summary of myself in truth.

Hire a cleaner. Problem solved.

Yes because everybody has the funds to hire a cleaner in a cost of living crisis when people are choosing to heat or eat

If that's aimed at me, I said crumbs make me itch, because they do.

If there's crumbs on the sofa or in a bed, they are uncomfortable to lay / sit on and itch the skin.

Just because I have a clean home, it doesn't mean I have OCD.

So many people on here are saying 'let people live how they want, no judgement etc' but there's a vast amount of judgement on this thread for people who choose to have a clean, hygienic home. (That doesn't include 2937 pillows and bed strips, and tonnes of chemicals.)

All surface cleaner and just an aired, made bed will do.

I know someone that "would" live in filth if the other person that lives with him didn't do any house chores.

Every time a plate, cutlery is used this person doesn't wash it, takes him a days to do it. Only because cutlery tends ro ran out dah... dishes sits there near the sink for days acumulating and crusting. So the kitchen is always cluttered with dirty dishes, smelling.

His food in the fridge will expire and create mold and smell and he still doesn't put it in the bin.

Fills up the rubbish bins but never takes them out, just continues to put stuff in and in untill it goes on the sides of it.

Shits the toilet constantly but doesn't clean the rim that was sprayed with shit. And the other person has to go and clean after him. Leaves pubes and beard hairs everywhere doesn't clean them up.

Doesn't change the sheets of his bed nor cleans his bedroom for weeks.

And on and on and on... this person is very much like looks and appearance, still showers every day and likes to look all polished. You wouldn't even tell... he is one of those that would complain about filthy places and filthy houses..
However at home his actions are pretty filthy..

Some things I’ve heard, noticed or read.

I have a friend who I have known for any years. Her house was always a mess, although it felt clean. She was a highly educated computer coder and told me once that when she sees the mess she doesn’t know where to start. Her DH and Dc were similarly messy and never put away.

I read once that the more ordered your mind is, the more external mess you can bear and vice versa. An ordered mind I suppose is the opposite to a noisy mind, where external stimulus (noise, visual chaos, temperature) come through untempered, and internal intrusive thoughts are common.

I’ve also read recently and this was dealing with husbands who don’t do their share in cleaning/tidying up. A woman will walk past a pile of dirty plates and note that needs dealing with. The husband will see it but it doesn’t register to him as something he needs to deal with. To him it ceases to exist. For the women it becomes a noise in her brain.

I certainly suffer from the second point, and my ex from the third one.

This is exactly it. I feel like there are quite a lot of people getting defensive with their excuses why they can't spend even less of an hour if an hour seems really long to live in decent conditions. I am human and believe me my house right now is quite messy, I have clothes to wash, my kids plates to wash after they just ate, pick up my Amazon boxes on the floor and my bed (ironically) to also change and fix. However, I will after making dinner have a moment to do a bit of quick cleaning which is exactly what I am trying to point out. It's ok to have mess here and there because it's life BUT when you get a moment, clean up after yourself it's that simple. If someone doesn't want to or can't, if it's possible then get someone to help otherwise if nothing is hindering you, then quite literally time to get up and prioritise the home you live, eat and sleep in. I know I have become quite unpopular with fellow MN but I don't think I am saying anything unreasonable tbh.

@farnhamgal

I think crumbs will make anyones body itch tbh 😣

Or the thought of really dirty bed sheets that haven't been changed in a long time. I've read of people changing their bed sheets once a month or even more, that's disgusting in my opinion. I a

If wanting to be clean makes me OCD, rather that then CHOOSING to live in messy/or filthy conditions because I simply live off excuses.

Also, let's be real anyone who keeps saying they are happy in all that mess is pure lying. If they had to pick a home that is clean or the opposite, anyone would pick the clean on.

The space you live in should be on everyone priority list to ensure it's decent (excluding those who can't) ESPECIALLY if your caring for kids and people who need caring. It's a matter of fix up really.

My home is vile. Is cluttered and dirty. I can just about keep on top of the dishes and maybe hoover occasionally.
I have no executive function whatsoever.
I live alone though, so I am only accountable to me.

You have no idea op. Genuinely. And not being sarcastic or nasty or anything. You just have no idea.

I wish I wasn't disabled. It upsets me to be judged so much for things I can't help. And it's always it's just half an hour it's just a few minutes. It literally takes all my capacity to just do my job and exist.

My leg doesn't work. I'm lucky to still have it but I often half wish they'd just cut it off because it doesn't fucking work and the pain is horrendous. And no. I can't get it under control. I've tried numerous meds and what I have now is the best combination of filling the pain and still letting me function. It's just a shambles.

My other leg now doesn't work because of compensating for the bad leg. The muscles and tendons are fucked and I need a new hip.

I can't move. I need to pee and the thought of getting up off this chair is making me cry. Even shifting in my chair hurts.

I don't remember the last time I had a nights sleep.

My back hurts. It's fucked. Coz dodgy legs.

My shoulders hurt. Coz dodgy legs means crutches.

And then I have adhd. And ASD. And I'm trying to hold down a responsible job and have a life.

But I should just try a bit harder.

Posted too soon. I also have an under active thyroid.

I literally wads through treacle every day. My brain is like mashed potato and I simply can't do any more than I do.

But it's not enough. I'm a disgrace. I should try harder. Do more. It's disgusting. I'm disgusting. I get it.

I think myself & a few others have more than once said that unless you have problems that prevent you from doing the basics then no one is picking on you because that person would have valid reasons.

We are talking about people who are fit and well and still choose to live in poor standards. Those people, yes a little goes a long way.

& you said you can't clean because of your ADHD & you now have help. I'm not sure what your point is now tbh. You like the clean conditions your in because of your cleaner which just goes back to a lot of what I'm saying anyway.

Why are you saying that? I've explained that all I care about is the floor because it's a trip hazard.

She has a minimum 4 hours session that she does she won't do any less. So she does more than I need.

Oh well if your mother can do it I'm just a lazy cunt who should hang her head in shame.

Jesus wept.

If you only care about the floor and don't see an issue with the rest of the mess in the house, then why not just tell your cleaner only clean my floors for health hazard. :/ I think you just don't want to admit that you enjoy the clean space and clean air, and it probably makes you feel good inside. Own up to it

If that's how you feel, that's on you. You just keep throwing these conditions around and I'm simply pointing out there are people with lots more and still want to keep the house clean. IF you can't at no cost then fair enough. But you did say yourself previously; your partner would be shocked if you cleaned so that just tells me you don't like cleaning and don't mind the mess around you. Just admit that.

That's exactly what I told my cleaner. All I care about is the floors.

She does the rest.

You're deliberately goading me now. And that's nasty.

You've no idea what my leg not working means if you think I'm capable of cleaning. Or what my arthritis means. If you think I can grip. Or push a hoover. I can't.

But you sit there in smugland thinking you're so much better than the lazy disabled cunts who don't even take a minute or two to clean up their shite. Coz they're just lazy.

You do that.

To be accurate I said if I made the bed my partner would be shocked.

But you do carry on. Keep on at me. Must feel great to know you've upset me and are keeping going. What sort of a person does that.

No because you have for the last few points sat behind your screen trying to give me a hard time and I'm simply dishing it back out at you. My 84 year old grandma use to wash and brush the floors in her garden + clean her whole house and wash her carpets. She also suffered with a lot. Your trying really hard to make out like I'm against your disability and I'm not. A side from your disability, you clearly don't like cleaning and you have a cleaner to do that for you. What's yo ur argument because it sounds like you like treating yourself and every post come out with more things as to why you can't clean. Your not really helping yourself tbh.

Posts**

grown adults not being able to fix the bed the way a grown up should

Had to laugh at this, I feel like you should be some uptight character off Motherland. I couldn't get my knickers in a twist over it tbh.

You too :)