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Original poster

How do I deal with DD’s expensive school snack situation?

229 replies

Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:21

DD attends a secondary school where they do not allow kids to bring in their own snack from home. Instead, they may purchase snacks from the school cafe. I’ve battled with school to change this policy as I can’t afford DD spending 3.50-5 a day. I have said to her there is a £1 limit a day and she must have breakfast in the morning (she doesn’t eat much and so is hungry by break time at 10am). At the same time, she has no idea that 3.50-5/day is excessive for an 11 years old. I understand she’s hungry. School say they provide free fruit (sliced). This is a private school BTW.

Any ideas how to deal with this?

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 28/03/2023 10:23

So this £3.50 is on top of her eating lunch?

IslandMeat · 28/03/2023 10:23

Why can't she eat the free fruit? With a decent breakfast and a lunch later she's not going to starve. Make sure she's drinking water.
If she was so hungry she would eat the fruit.
Problem with being unable to afford stuff like her peers in a private school is something she's going to have to accept. That's what happens when you are the poorer kids at a private!

Quitelikeit · 28/03/2023 10:24

Im afraid I think the issue is your daughter, there is free freshly sliced fruit, and you give her £1 for a snack

Do not give her a penny more then she will have no choice

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PuttingDownRoots · 28/03/2023 10:24

A whole lunchtime is less than £3 at DDs school...

How is the money managed? Do you put money on an account for them or are you billed afterwards

IslandMeat · 28/03/2023 10:24

I actually support the school no home snacks because it could be dangerous for kids with allergies. She's not going to die from a lack of a snack and she has fruit!

GymNewbie · 28/03/2023 10:28

Give her £1/2 a day for snack and anything extra she pays out of pocket money?

Ds used to have snack but never wanted lunch as only an hour apart. He had £3.50 a day.

Snacks were :
Cake slices
Pizza slices
Chicken wings
Baguettes

Lunch was as above but with choice of pasta pot too.

Could take own though but ' it was cool and had to sit in a seperate hall'

Original poster
Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:28

Thanks all.

Yes school lunches are already paid for.

She has a GoHenry account. I used to put a fiver on there a week, but I’ve stopped as she won’t stay within her spending limits. I’ve blocked the card a few times, but then she’ll get stuff and say she owes the chef money - awful habit.

I just don’t want to encourage decadent behavior at a young age. I could afford to stick 100 quid each month to cover her snack habit (on top of the regular shopping I do), but I believe it’s wrong.

OP posts:
Drifta · 28/03/2023 10:29

She's 11, she is old enough to understand she has a budget of £1 or whatever. Can't you just give her £5 for the week and when it's gone, it gone?

Make sure she has other skills in place - can she access the free fruit, can she see the prices to help her choose?

What on earth is she spending £5 on? If she is buying several things then obv saying just buy one thing would be a start.

Original poster
Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:31

I’d love to be able to give her 5 quid and we have discussed this, but school doesn’t accept cash - only a card.

OP posts:
RudsyFarmer · 28/03/2023 10:31

This is where ‘no’ is a complete answer surely? She eats breakfast at home. There’s nothing on her card to spend. Job done.

Original poster
Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:32

£1 buys her a croissant. I think she’s been buying flavored water. No idea what else.

OP posts:
Drifta · 28/03/2023 10:33

Crossposted. So she just feels entitled to overspend? What consequence is there for "just owing the chef money"? Do you take that off future weeks for example?

It sounds like a power battle which you need to win!!

Original poster
Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:33

@RudsyFarmer yep I’ve explained I’m no longer topping up her card. Once the balance has run out, that’s it until she’s willing to manage her money better.

OP posts:
EmilyGilmoresSass · 28/03/2023 10:33

IslandMeat · 28/03/2023 10:24

I actually support the school no home snacks because it could be dangerous for kids with allergies. She's not going to die from a lack of a snack and she has fruit!

This 100%. I don't have a child with allergies but I know of many people with serious allergies and it has made me very wary about consuming nut products when at uni, out on day out etc. Another factor for me is that my daughter has a learning disability and she is more likely to eat something if everybody is eating the same thing (honestly). If I sent her somewhere with sliced fruit for example, she would happily eat this at home, but if someone sat at her table with biscuits or something she wouldn't eat it.

That and the fact that it's healthy. Really making a mountain out of a molehill.

toastofthetown · 28/03/2023 10:34

Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:28

Thanks all.

Yes school lunches are already paid for.

She has a GoHenry account. I used to put a fiver on there a week, but I’ve stopped as she won’t stay within her spending limits. I’ve blocked the card a few times, but then she’ll get stuff and say she owes the chef money - awful habit.

I just don’t want to encourage decadent behavior at a young age. I could afford to stick 100 quid each month to cover her snack habit (on top of the regular shopping I do), but I believe it’s wrong.

I’m not sure how spending limits work, but surely the point is that the transaction can’t go through after the limit is reached. Would you be able to talk to the school and say you don’t want them to allow her to pay with an IOU? She won’t learn how to manage money until she experiences management money, and probably fails a few times. If she’s allowed £5 per week for snacks and she’s spent it all by Tuesday, she’ll learn far more from that than being rationed to £1 per day controlled by you.

Quitelikeit · 28/03/2023 10:35

surely she can take flavoured water in from home?!?

you can buy 24 bottles for less than £5

it’s not clear from your post but you said you’d love to give her £5 every day in cash but can’t because she needs it on a card

so can you afford a 5 every day?

SeaToSki · 28/03/2023 10:35

Tell the school she is not to be given food without paying for it, and if they do you will not be paying them back. Tell your DD what you have done, so she knows the new situation

Put 5 pounds on her card on Monday mornings and when it is gone, its gone. She will soon learn. Your problem here is the school are putting you in an impossible situation with teaching your daughter about scarcity of resources and budgeting her allowance appropriately.

Original poster
Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:36

At her previous school, she’d only take fruit and never anything else. Fruit at school is sliced on an open plate. I’ve heard a few parents complain that their kids won’t eat it. However, I have told her it’s an option and she must take fruit when she’s hungry.

OP posts:
Original poster
Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:37

Quitelikeit · 28/03/2023 10:35

surely she can take flavoured water in from home?!?

you can buy 24 bottles for less than £5

it’s not clear from your post but you said you’d love to give her £5 every day in cash but can’t because she needs it on a card

so can you afford a 5 every day?

Sorry - 5 cash a week - definitely not a day.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 28/03/2023 10:37

It’s possible that children are embarrassed to take the fruit as it is free

maybe the school should put a 20p charge on it to help with the embarrassment

Quitelikeit · 28/03/2023 10:38

I like the idea of ringing the school and not allowing your child iou

Original poster
Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:39

Yes embarrassment is probably a factor and the fact that other kids spend freely. I know of some parents who have refused to let their kids spend in school.

OP posts:
Nap1983 · 28/03/2023 10:40

Surely if you can afford private school fees your child can afford to buy a snack from the cafe…
I actually agree about the snacks from home though, my DD is coeliac and school snacks and lunches are usually completely unsuitable and if GF are vile..

RudsyFarmer · 28/03/2023 10:42

Springisintheair123 · 28/03/2023 10:31

I’d love to be able to give her 5 quid and we have discussed this, but school doesn’t accept cash - only a card.

I’d say you’re done then.

The only other thing I might suggest is she uses her pocket money. Then she can waste her own money, not mine.

OnaBegonia · 28/03/2023 10:43

I'd ask the school to not allow 'owing chef money' and be firm
that it's £5 per week and when it's done tough.