How do I deal with DD’s expensive school snack situation?

[Springisintheair123]

DD attends a secondary school where they do not allow kids to bring in their own snack from home. Instead, they may purchase snacks from the school cafe. I’ve battled with school to change this policy as I can’t afford DD spending 3.50-5 a day. I have said to her there is a £1 limit a day and she must have breakfast in the morning (she doesn’t eat much and so is hungry by break time at 10am). At the same time, she has no idea that 3.50-5/day is excessive for an 11 years old. I understand she’s hungry. School say they provide free fruit (sliced). This is a private school BTW.

Any ideas how to deal with this?

I agree. Quite aside from the fact that owing money isn't something she should be getting into at school, she absolutely shouldn't be getting into a position where a member of staff has any kind of hold over her. It's a safeguarding issue, I think.

I'm surprised they're putting out pre-cut fruit when Covid still exists and when schools are notorious for bugs and contagious illnesses. Ask school to put out full fruit. Ask them to introduce a credit limit.
In our school, I think the credit limit is £5 or £10. After that, the pupil is sent to the HOY who can provide a sandwich/soup/drink.

You are all correct - once the IOU system is removed, that’ll limit DD’s boundaries.

If the issue is friends spending freely I’d have a chat about how that’s not the way you want to raise her, you want her to be grounded and know the value of things. My dd went through a stage of feeling hard done by seeing her friend basically get everything she wants when she wants it, major gifts mine would get for Christmas just because she’d seen it and wanted it. When I got my dd to look at it from the point of view that it’s sad for the girl, she’s got nothing to really look forward to the way my dd gets excited for birthdays and Christmas, she doesn’t value things as it all comes easy, she decided our way is better (and stopped moaning at me every sodding day about it not being fair).

Give her a Cash card that you refill each month or what ever need you choose.

I'd limit it just so she was more likely to eat a big lunch (prob isn't if she's snacking a lot?) BUT I think £5 is too low. I would say £10 a week on the card is good as it's not too much that she's eating loads extra but it's enough to actually budget and have money to buy nice treats

Unless you are really on your uppers, I would tell the school no "iou" but look at your budget for this and increase it if you can. As I said uptrend, it's not about her going bonkers and being a spendthrift, it's more likely about friends and fitting in. Have a sensible chat about what the snacks cost and think about what is fair on her thinking about the bigger picture. I fell into this with my eldest and looking back really I was focused on the wrong thing. I got it right with my 3rd! Absolutely a budget but one that allowed her some freedom to choose to conform.

Id take the go henry card off her and tell the school not to let her run up a tab. Put it in writing and tell them you wont settle it if they do. If shes hungry, shes hungry.

If you think thats too draconian, telp her youll be taking her phone off her until she proves she can spend her allocated allowance over the period youve set.

Also make her eat a hearty breakfast...something like porridge and if she says shes not hungry, tell her she has to eat it cos youre sick of the snack issue.

Good point. I usually get a spending notification at 10am at break time. So, yes it’s possible she’s not having a proper lunch as there will be another notification around 4pm.

Go Henry accounts charge you for use.
At her age she could have a junior bank account with debit card and you as a co signature.
It would save you £3 a month

Would linking it with pocket money help?

So, for example, if she got £25 a month pocket money then raise it to £45 to allow for a £1 a day for snacks. Then, at the end of the month, she pays for the previous month's snacks and gets the change.

That way, if she sticks to £1 a day, she gets the full £25 but if she also owes the chef £10 then she only gets £15 pcoket money that month?

Similarly, if she takes free fruit on any days, she will get more than £25 that month, because she can bank the saving?

I actually think its completely unacceptable the school allows an IOU, they know that some kids will have a spending budget. Nip that in the bud and say if they continue to let her you will not be paying it. £1 a day for a croissant is perfectly acceptable, she can take some flavored water from home.

The school should not accept credit under any circumstances for this and make it clear to all parents.

A croissant and fresh fruit for a snack is more than enough

You have a daughter issue, not a school of one. Mine was the same in y7. I said you're getting X amount this week. If you spend it in one day, that's on you. She quickly learnt.

Card is blocked - just got a declined notification for £4.50 and it’s lunch time now (already paid for!).

I wouldn’t touch precut food anywhere, let alone a school. Yuk.

she either needs to make £5 last or eat more at breakfast. I think it’s a pretty shit policy by school. That said, how is it policed. How would they know she had a feral bar in a pocket for example.

Oh god, not feral. I mean cereal!

So why don’t you do that? No card because she misuses it. It’s not hard.

Is there a way to set a smaller daily limit, on ParentPay or similar?

At her age she could have a junior bank account with debit card and you as a co signature.
It would save you £3 a month

Does it allow contactless/parental oversight/controls though? That's what I like re Nimbl. AFAIK junior bank account cards don't have one or more of these features.

It is awful isn't it? When my DS was at school he got through so much money on his account.

I tried to explain that once the money had gone it had gone and to encourage taking packed lunches. That never happened. I think they all liked going to the mess and getting snacks, then lunch, then more snacks.

But the school must not allow her to do an IOU. This is debt.

I was thinking this too. I'm pretty sure most schools probably say that somewhere. No outside food or whatever. I'd pack a cereal bar.
She's just enjoying spending money and not eating the free food. This is an age old Y7 problem.

If it's anything like the private school I used to work out there will be a massive amount of food on offer for lunch - 3 courses, choice of hot meal, jacket potato option, loads of bread, salad bar etc. So I don't think there's any chance of said child going hungry
If I worked late I could get sandwiches for tea too (although we did have boarders so it may be different at your child's school)

I think you're right to teach her about spending limits young. You're right it doesn't matter what you can/ cannot afford it is teaching her to stay within her means.

You've said you will approach the school and tell them that you don't want her to have credit anymore. I'd follow up with an email. I'd pay the credit once if it happens again. Follow up with anther email and say if she goes into credit again you will not be paying it, and don't.

There was a little shop in my school and they did not extend credit! I know it was different it was the mid 00's so we had to pay by cash but still.

Bloody hell, I can’t believe I’m reading this. A school believes it is acceptable to make parents pay for stuff like flavoured water, croissants etc if there kids want mid morning snacks and then have cheek to thing it’s ok for caterers to charge £2,50 or kids to spend £5 a day
its massively irresponsible and entitled thinking. Kids have crowd mentality and will want what everyone’s having and I bet tonnes of them have cajoled their parents into thinking they have to spend £15-25 a week to give them snacks
when is that ok? Is the school taking a cut in those sorts of profits- as ever follow the money
I didn’t send kids to private , but if I had I’d be steamrolling a path to the governors or head and say it is highly irresponsible to get kids used to buying snacks, drinks everyday. They should absolute
y be encouraging kids to bring their own cheaper home bought items. If they can’t cope with potential nut allergies etc, then they need to police what kids can bring in.
jeez, I can’t believe private school parents put up with that shit