How do I deal with DD’s expensive school snack situation?

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DD attends a secondary school where they do not allow kids to bring in their own snack from home. Instead, they may purchase snacks from the school cafe. I’ve battled with school to change this policy as I can’t afford DD spending 3.50-5 a day. I have said to her there is a £1 limit a day and she must have breakfast in the morning (she doesn’t eat much and so is hungry by break time at 10am). At the same time, she has no idea that 3.50-5/day is excessive for an 11 years old. I understand she’s hungry. School say they provide free fruit (sliced). This is a private school BTW.

Any ideas how to deal with this?

What does every other child do? Surely you're not the only one putting a limit on snack spending? Or she (unless diabetic or similar) just manages without?

And how does the school monitor that they are not bringing snacks from home anyway? (I would bet that loads of children are just eating their own in a corner out of the way.

I can afford 100/mth. I just don’t think it’s a great habit to get a young child into because of the entitlement and expectation it builds for other things. I think they charge 2.50 for flavored water. It doesn’t sit comfortably with me.

Some parents don’t allow their child a card in school. Fruit or nothing.

I agree with you OP. Mine wants to bring in a packed lunch because she doesn't want to eat school food. I've said no. I'm not paying twice for someone who's just bloody fussy.

She needs to up her breakfast game and eat the fruit. Flavoured water is a giant waste of money and an environmental mess.

Some parents don’t allow their child a card in school. Fruit or nothing.
So why are you worried about limiting to £5, sounds more like you need to sort out your DDs entitled attitude.

Yes, I think you are right. I think felt guilty that she’s hungry at school and I’m being overly mean.

I’ll stick to the 5/wk limit and inform school that they mustn’t allow her to get into debt.

Well there's a number of things here. Firstly this is a nice money making scheme the school has, £5 on snacks a water is quite a lot so I'm guessing the school are somewhat encouraging it. What 11 year old will want to eat some free slices of fruit when there are cakes, cookies, muffins etc all laid out?

Secondly, there's an response on another thread today about private school children not learning the value of things. I'll bet your DD has a least one friend whose parents give them heaps of cash and don't mind how they spend it. So you daughter is pressured to spend freely.

Thirdly, is she eating the lunch you are also paying for if she's filling up on snacks?

Fourthly, it's really unhelpful the school lets her run up a credit. I'd call and ask them not to.

Put £5 a week on her card and tell her once it's gone, it's gone. Talk to her about money. How much you earn vs how much things cost. How much a house costs , your mortgage and other bills, travel expenses, school fees, and running a house hold. Importantly, talk to her about average salaries, minimum wage, etc.

You could even say to her that if she doesn't spend her £5 per week and saves it, she could buy herself x by the end of term.

She needs to eat a decent breakfast and then have the sliced fruit that's on offer. If she doesn't want that then she needs to wait for lunch!

Fair enough. 2.50 is a lot for water, the school probably know most people will pay it as the kids are entitled and parents have the cash. Most “normal” schools will not be charging 2.50 for a bottle of water. I guess it’s what you sign yourself up for…

Thank you for this. I’ve spoken to her about money - I’m a single parent who wants the best for her. I’ve had the most horrific year with legal battles with her father to make him accountable to support her given his high income. I regularly talk to her about the cost of the things, the fact that some kids have very little food, no secure home etc.

What's the issue? she just eats the fruit. Or you give her £5 per week on the basis of one snack/day and when it's gone, it's gone

£5.00 a week is enough. I would contact school and say she is not allowed to have food on tic(sp?).

She needs to have a proper breakfast in the morning and would suggest she even has something like a pancake or yoghurt on the way to school so she is eating a touch later so the free fruit will be enough later. Obviously the food has to be gone by the time she reaches school.

OP, stick to your guns.

I would tell her she has £5 per week, she is not to owe the chef and if this happens due to overspending on snacks then you will pay chef but pocket money will be taken to cover it, or phone/xbox or whatever confiscated for a time.

I actually think the school is unreasonable for not allowing snacks. It is unusual. My ds is also at secondary private school- and snacks and lunch are allowed to be brought it which make it easier to afford.

I'd continue to push this with the school. I understand allergies, but pretty much every other school allows home brought food so there must be ways to manage it?

I’d go further and I’d tell the school and my daughter nothing for 2 weeks except free fruit

she earns chores at home £5 a week and this goes on her snack card and once it is gone it is gone. End of

If she regularly goes hungry at school she will learn to have a better breakfast. Maybe not the first or second time but at some point it will sink in.

Are you sure it's just impulse spending? Pressure to do what others do? If all her friends are going up to the counter and buying stuff, maybe she doesn't want to be left out? The pressure/desire to conform with peers is massive at 11.

Thank you all for your advice. There are suggestions on here I’ll carry out.

Not sure what the answer is. Tell the school she’s not allowed to owe money? Ultimately though it’s a private school and they’re a business so allowed to do what they want. Charge what they want.

Yes I’m sure this has something to do with it, which is why I have tackle it now (although I’ve tried many of the things suggested. Conversations with school have been fruitless (pardon the pun). It’s a profit-making venture ultimately.

In DD’s school there is no way to limit the amount on snacks because lunches are not prepaid. Both snacks and lunches are paid from a single account we bank transfer money into and it uses her fingerprint.
I think the only thing you can do is temporarily confiscate her card and not allow school to give her credit. She’ll either agree to the pound limit or not have any snack. She won’t starve. Croissants are massively calorific. Does she really need that on top of breakfast and lunch?

I would check how much things cost at school, to make sure £1 is a reasonable amount. But yeah, you put it on the card each week and when it’s gone, it’s gone. She’ll learn.

Mine gets £3 a day, as most things are between £1 and £1.50 and it’s lunch as well as break.

as an adult i won't touch pre-sliced fruit at work. Enough of us said that we wouldn't eat the fruit like that, that we now get a fruit basket and help ourselves.

is there a reason the school cut it up? that doesn't sound hygenic.

For the rest: she needs to learn to manage her money.

So she has breakfast, then a £1 croissants (and free fruit), then lunch? This is plenty. No one needs flavoured water.

I'd just give her £5 for the week and let her do what she wants. If she spends it all in a day, that's a learning experience. And I would speak to the school about the cafe not giving her credit- that's not appropriate for her age especially as it's parents who have to pay it.

Sorry hear about the wrangling with her dad.

Another thought, I wonder what her friends' parents are thinking? Perhaps you're not alone in feeling like the girls are being taken advantage of and the parents being ripped off?