How do I deal with DD’s expensive school snack situation?

[Springisintheair123]

DD attends a secondary school where they do not allow kids to bring in their own snack from home. Instead, they may purchase snacks from the school cafe. I’ve battled with school to change this policy as I can’t afford DD spending 3.50-5 a day. I have said to her there is a £1 limit a day and she must have breakfast in the morning (she doesn’t eat much and so is hungry by break time at 10am). At the same time, she has no idea that 3.50-5/day is excessive for an 11 years old. I understand she’s hungry. School say they provide free fruit (sliced). This is a private school BTW.

Any ideas how to deal with this?

I think that is fucking awful of the school. I will send my dc to private school but if they did this I would be in the heads office explaining the many reasons this is totally against everything they publish as their ethos and mission. And keep a paper trail of saying you may not let my child go into debt, I have sent her with an allergy free snack which I do not give you permission to confiscate. If they let parents go into debt for their sc snacks they deserve to be in the papers.

I don't see it so much as decadent behaviour but rather expressing herself now she has a little more freedom. Plus teenagers get seriously hungry, they need more calories than we do. They usually do this for a bit at school then settle down to a more normal spending pattern.

If she is really overeating and her weight starts to become an issue perhaps she is eating her feelings and needs some further help.

@Springisintheair123
FYI OP this thread has been picked up by the Mirror https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/furious-mum-slates-school-letting-29576817

So sorry your daughter isn't yet accepting that she must budget. I was in Sainsbury's the other day at about 3.30 ish, and some high school students came in. I saw them at the check out, each had a mixture of drinks/crisps/sausage rolls/chocolate - definitely more than a fiver's worth. Perhaps they were paying from part time job money.

If you can afford it then what is the issue?

Shes 11 and can understand why you need to say No.
Be the parent and parent your child

Wow. Where to start.

Just don't let her take her card with her to school. Fruit or nothing and if she gets into credit with the chefs it comes out of her pocket money.

I used to teach at a private school and some kids have basically an infinite amount of income for snacks and drinks, would go to Costa everyday after school for a £10 drink and cake etc. Other parents would complain that their DDs couldn’t keep up and it was affecting them socially but at the end of the day, you have to teach her that some of her peers in a private school are exceptionally rich and she has to operate within a limit budget that you are setting for her. That’s just life.

If she can buy a croissant for £1, just tell her she’ll have to make do with that. And maybe eat a bit more breakfast.

Well that's be a lie, so not sure there's much point in that really.

As others have said, explain her limits and let the school know that she's not to be given credit, especially as lunch is already paid for, so if she's hungry it's only another couple of hours before she gets fed a proper meal.

I'd also maybe take her out with either a couple of weeks snack budget, or the actual amount she's spent over the last few weeks, to a supermarket to spend that much on food and snacks to be donated to a food bank. Which should hopefully give her an actual idea of how much the money would buy, particularly for someone who's struggling. If she keeps complaining or going hugely over budget, then no snack money for the next week/ fortnight and do the same, take to a supermarket and spend it on foodbank stuff instead!

Fuck me. The Mirror’s spin gave me a good laugh!!

“A mum is seething at her daughter's school policy as they refuse to allow her to bring her own snacks in, leaving the mum struggling for money and her child 'going hungry'.”

Thank you to all the new replies since yesterday - you’ve all given me much to think about. I appreciate it very much.

@456pickupsticks this is a great suggestion. We did a good shelter shop recently and I gave her a budget and told her to maximize it. She was surprised by how much we could buy. I’ll try it again.

@Itsbritneybitch22

yeah let her crack on OP!

you can always go without a holiday this year to fund the snacks

School wont accept cash? So we are teaching our young people from a young age that is is Ok to pay fees on a current account eg. GoHenry. Perhaps the School Goveners are shareholders!

You know it’s illegal to provide credit to someone under the age of 18. I’d contact the FCA about this and the local council as this is akin to loan sharking that the school won’t accept anything but cards for under 18s!

If kids turn up to school without their money, you want school to refuse to feed them? School covering food costs has always been a thing. I went to school in the 90s, if you forgot lunch money you went to the office and the receptionist gave you £2.50 to get food which you paid back the next day.

Lunch is already paid for ... This thread is about optional snacks ...

I think to be fair to your daughter you have chosen a school where a bottle of water is £2.50 (in my son’s school it’s 80p) and she is not allowed the cheaper option of bringing your own, that’s on you now her. I don’t think it’s extravagant to want to buy a bottle of water each day and a biscuit. Most of us would eat a little something with our coffee each morning at work. So the problem is not really what she has chosen to buy just that the school you chose is choosing to charge central London café prices and not allow her to bring her own.

Private schools are Petri dishes of entitlement.
The irony in this thread has gone right over the OP’s head. Yikes.

Send her to a state school she’d get a full school lunch for £1 a day

Where do you live, 1998?

What a load of rubbish