Have we been unfair?

[ShesHavingAMoment]

Went to a cafe for afternoon tea. Nice surroundings, great service. However, the food was...below expectations.
Dh couldn't get his chosen meal so just had coffee.
Mine was a defrosted scone whacked on a plate with a jar of jam.
Dd misread the menu and thought it was hot chips, but it was crisps on the side of her sandwich. According to her her sandwich was shit and they hadnt drained the tuna properly (she has a technique at home)

Now, up until the 'meal' she was quite happy pootling around with us looking at the animals they have there etc. But got pissed off at her meal so then was in a strop.

So, ds had stayed home. Just finished mocks a week ago, deep in study for 8 weeks time. We said as he wasnt coming wed pick him up a treat on the way home (as dd had a meal...)

Did that. Dd has cracked an absolute hissy fit, has refused to get out of the car (although did come back in for her ipad so can do homework and returned out there) and is refusing to watch football with DH which is their thing, although seems more pissed off with me as I was the one who went into the shop and got sweets for ds. She says she has wasted 2 hours of her life and got nothing out of it!

Have we been unfair? Should we pop to the shops and get dd some sweets?

Dd 13 and ds 16 for reference.

The kid had already had an entitled wobbler, why should she get sweets/a treat? I tend not to reward shitty behaviour.

Why would you buy one child sweets and not the other? Regardless of anything else I can’t understand why you would do this.

Hurling abuse? Get a grip 🤣🤣🤣

That poster called the child’s behaviour out. And they called it out for exactly what it was. Entitled. She absolutely was behaving like an entitled brat.

It’s not really necessary to focus on what was fair or unfair, more to deal with where you all are now. From her perspective it probably did feel unfair and quite reasonably, but she needs to respond better than having hissyfits. When the time is right, I think you could explain you’d like to chat with her, acknowledge you got it wrong, say everyone makes mistakes and apologise for that simply, express to her that you get her feelings, but also explain that her overreactions are unacceptable and make it very difficult to move forwards together. These are learning experiences! I’ve had many similar situations with my two teenage girls, it’s hard! Can you suggest you’ll make up for it next time you’re out?

NO sweets! The treat was your undivided attention and a trip out. Its a shame this was weighed up against some sweets.

No, that was the OP's treat

Have I misunderstood? Thought it was a treat for the whole family as DS got sweets as compensation for not being there? So, DD is stropping as meal was not to her liking, expecially as she misread menu. NO sweets. Sucking up disappointment and not blaming Mum for rubbish meal is a 'life lesson' for a teen surely?

The DD and DH wanted to go elsewhere but they went to the place OP wanted to go.

Still don't think OP should be punished by 13 year old for this!!

I think you were being unreasonable and unfair, but then her reaction was bad and would have stopped me going out to get her more sweets. I do think your initial decision to just get sweets for DS was odd, though.

What a horrible brat!

Not nearly as horrible as your post.

Entirely inappropriate, and you’re not remotely informed enough to make such a judgement or statement. None of us are.

She’s a horrible brat! 😂😂😂