When people suddenly/without warning

[JoonT]

A few weeks ago I had a (sort of) argument with a family member. I don’t know how it came up, but someone mentioned dying, and how they’d like to go. I said “I want to go suddenly, just sitting in a chair with a glass wine, and not know anything about it...those close to me know I love them, so there’s no need to say goodbye.” This other family member said “no one dies just like that - it’s almost always slow and horrible” She’s quite a bitter, angry person, who picks arguments, so I let it drop. But people DO go just like that? Don’t they? I mean, sat in front of the TV, or whatever. I must admit I’ve never known it happen. My own experiences of death have all been pretty horrible, and I’ve never known anyone die suddenly, or instantly.

My cousin aged 42 went for a walk with his dog and dropped dead. It was a sudden cardiac arrest, no history of any problems. He'd passed a medical for his job with an airline just weeks before.

I know someone who died after a croquet game, with a cup of tea and piece of cake.

And I know someone who dropped down having played a very good game of golf.

My cousin had just finished loading up the car after a holiday in a caravan, shut the boot and disappeared. His wife was in the car with the kids and got out, only to find him dead on the floor. He'd had a had a heart attack at just 31.

My Granny died in my Grandads arms just having her morning cuddle before he helped her out of bed as she did each morning. Massive heart attack in his arms, terrible shock for him but the best way to go for her.

My husband had a major stroke, fell into a coma and died five days later.

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car" .

Will Rogers
(American vaudeville performer)

Yes course they do I know someone recently went to bed fine or so he thought and never woke up . I think I’d be happy going in my sleep although not young .
another person I know years ago got up to go toilet had massive heart attack and died apparently very quick too quick to even call out his family .

My uncle was sitting on the settee, chatting away to my aunt, who was in the kitchen. She came in to see why he had stopped talking, and he'd died without a murmur.

My grandfather was terminally ill, and in a bed in the lounge, listening and joining in with the general hustle and bustle of the family going about their usual business. He passed away quietly. A pretty perfect way to go, I think.

Do yes, it does happen.

My dad was working away for work, staying in a hotel and died in his sleep. No prior illness and was only 51. He wouldn’t have known anything about it - a big shock for us left behind though.

My cousin felt tired so went for a nap
Never got up again

Our old neighbour was gardening,came in,ate his lunch and said to his wife 'I don't feel right betty'
He slumped forward-he was dead before his head hit the table

Lad I worked with went to bed,had a fit and swallowed his vomit
They said he wouldn't have known a thing about it

Lady down the road to us went shopping,came home and put her bags down
She must have made a cup of tea as she was found,sat at the table with it in front of her

It does happen and the way I'd like to go

Of course people go like that, i had a school friend who passed in their sleep peacefully and when I was about 18 an old lady sitting opposite me at a bus stop started to slip off the bench end, a man walking past and myself managed to catch her but she was gone instantly.
I suspect many hear of the more traumatic horrid ways people decline first or fatal accidents unfortunately.

Oh and my dad was at school watching a football match
Young lad ran for the ball,and just dropped
Dead before he hit the floor-they where 15

My grandparents had been married donkeys years when he came home one day to find my granny in bed-talking to the doctor
Doc came downstairs and told grandad that she wouldn't last the night
He went upstairs and she asked if he'd eaten to which he said no but was going to soon
Went to bed as usual and the doctor was right-she died in her sleep-he never told her she wouldn't make it and carried that guilt round until he died himself

My ex's dad died on the sofa in front of TV. He was in his 90s and had been watching a 'saucy' tape ....yes VHS tape.
My elderly neighbour dozed off during the world Cup.
I don't think most people have long lingering deaths but I do think they have preceding years of declining health....not just slowing down with a few aches, but difficulty breathing, ulcers, catheters/pads, poor sight, etc. I definitely think quality of life drops significantly for many.

My grandad went up the stairs, sat down for a rest on his bed and died.
I work in care and a lot of people just don't wake up, or are chatting away one minute and gone the next.

Yes, that’s a good point about modern medicine. Some elderly people have a ‘do not resuscitate’ sign round their neck, and I don’t blame them.

Hopefully, medicine will reach a point where most diseases can be cured and people just sort of fade out in their 90s. But, as you say, atm medicine seems to be making death more rather than less horrible.

My nan died comfy in her favourite armchair, watching her favourite show, having just had a nice brew. 101 years old and she just... Stopped. Closed her eyes and was gone. My great nan went the almost exact same way, except she was 99 and had just had a whiskey. I hope to follow in their footsteps!

😆😆love that

Yea of course. A lot of people just die in their sleep too, it's not always long and drawn out and awful!

Definitely happens that way, my grandmother went to bed for a nap feeling absolutely fine and as my dad took her a drink of water just after she'd laid down he realised she'd died. My mother passed away at the start of this year and was just pottering away in the kitchen, said she felt dizzy then dropped down dead. An awful shock for everyone left behind obviously but a very peaceful way to go.

Both my grandmother's died of cancer. One was in a nursing home but was 90+ and had a good life plus saw the first few of her great grandchildren.
My other Nan was nursed at home by my grandad they met when they were 15 so she died in her home that she loved with the love of her life next to her. What more can you ask.

My family business is associated with funeral directors so I am very used to death, we had Hearses frequently parked at our house, I've even been collected from school in one as have my kids, honestly nothing bad will happen if you talk about it and the more you do the more you become comfortable with it.

Both my Grandad and my father in law died as you described, massive heart attack sitting in his chair.

It’s a great way to go for the person, but utterly traumatic for those left behind -both my Gran and mil were in shock for some time

That’s comforting to hear. A horrible death is dreadful for all concerned. It’s awful for the person who dies, but it also leaves their loved ones with bitter memories. My beautiful, gentle grandmother died from a brain haemorrhage when she was 77. It took her all night to die and was just awful to watch. That was 27 years ago, and every time I think of her I just see the ghastly scenes around her death. She was found unresponsive in her bed at home and to this day I wish they had left her there rather than take her to hospital.

Best way to go, albeit a horrible shock for loved ones
I really feared sudden death, until a few months ago when I was (unbeknownst to me) very ill and collapsed. It was just consciousnesses to nothingness. I don’t remember a thing until I came round

Aunt had been to have her hair done on her birthday. Family meal planned. Daughter brought her back from hairdresser and went to make them a cup of tea. Aunt died before she came back with the tea.
Friend of friend arrived back from holiday, opened her case to unpack and died.
Father in law half way up a ladder and dropped dead.
Friend in hospital asked relative to fetch him someone from hospital shop. Died whilst they were gone for a few mins.
Another Aunt was waiting for her partner to fetch her magazine from the corner shop. Was dead in her chair when he got back. Very fit lady.
Friends husband dropped dead on golf course aged 50.
Several more I could list too.

One of my work colleagues had a friend round for tea. After they had a chat she went to put the kettle on, when she went back into the room her friend was dead in the chair.