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Original poster

How to bag a rich husband?

227 replies

Sugarfish · 17/03/2023 16:38

I’m not really looking for a rich husband, I’m in a very happy long term relationship with my average earning partner, but I’ve seen a lot of threads here where women are married to dh’s who earn over 6 figures. And I’m just being nosey about how you met. Currently have covid and bored but also genuinely interested. Especially if you’re from different “classes” as I’m from a working class family and in my circles, no one earns close to that so I would not know where to look even if I did want to “marry well” as my mother would call it!

If you come from a high earning family, did you always have an expectation that you’d have a certain lifestyle so specifically chose someone with a high earning job? Or are you also a high earner and met through work / uni. If you’re a low earner compared to your husband, do you ever feel like he thinks he’s more important in the relationship because of this, and how did you meet him?

Also to switch it round for fairness, if you’re the higher earner, how did you meet and does your dh ever feel threatened? Do people ever comment on it?

Have any of you ever faced and snobbery / reverse snobbery due to your choice of Partner?

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 17/03/2023 16:40

WC here. Met DH travelling. He is MC. I could be earning the same as him but took a step back for children/work/life balance.

Flowersinmai · 17/03/2023 16:46

Went to school together. Split up.
Got back in touch after university. We’re both living in same area.
I didn’t know anything about his job or earning potential. He works hard and long hours. Not a workaholic but near as possible.
He did professional exams. Had a baby and agreed that I would be SAHM - my earning power would never match his. We moved abroad - for new and better paying job. He did more professional exams.
Neither of us grew up rich - but his family were better off than mine.
Hes always treated me as his equal. And I have treated him as mine. He works very hard. I look after the home. He’s involved in the kids school life as much as he can.
It works for us. Might not fit other people

Amispringy · 17/03/2023 16:48

Watching with interest, although he doesn't need to be rich

I'd love to know how to bag any husband

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Marriage & partnerships
Justbetweenus · 17/03/2023 16:53

I’m the high earner with an average earner DH. We met in a bar and probably earned about the same at the time - didn’t think about it. My career took off, helped no doubt by DH who stayed home while DC were pre-schoolers then got a job that fits around school holidays. He doesn’t feel threatened in the slightest (why would he? It’s not 1950 and if anyone we know thinks about our financial setup, they’ve never mentioned it to us). I see us as a team that both contributed.

I was raised by a fabulous feminist DM who instilled the importance of my sisters and I standing on our own financial feet. So I was more keen on making my own money than finding a rich man.

SnowyPetals · 17/03/2023 16:53

I suppose the obvious answer is not to date anyone on a "low" salary as then a relationship won't develop. I have heard of people joining a fancy gym in the hope of meeting someone!

MintTeaAndChocolate · 17/03/2023 16:53

A friend of my mother's married an Italian Prince. She had no idea. He didn't tell her. She was a social worker. They now live in his inherited stately pile.

PeekAtYou · 17/03/2023 16:53

Ex didn't earn 6 figures when I met him but he worked in an industry (tech) where big jumps in salary are available so each job change had a salary increase of tens of thousands of pounds.

DibbleDooDah · 17/03/2023 16:54

My DH had a huge amount of debt when we met - he definitely wasn’t a catch financially at that point. Through hard work, luck and entrepreneurship he’s made a lot of money and continues to do so.

For me I definitely fell for the man and not the money 😂😂

Spambod · 17/03/2023 16:55

Get one that’s young and poor and just starting out but is hardworking with ambition. When older they are so busy earning their money and too involved in a senior career to be very available.

emptythelitterbox · 17/03/2023 16:56

It really is the social circles and school you attend.

That saying, you're the sum of your 5 closest friends.

gwenneh · 17/03/2023 16:56

We are both high earners but neither of us were anything close when we met - I was still a student, he was doing an office admin job. We met on an online discussion forum for a shared interest.

I didn't specifically look for someone who had "earning potential" but in looking for someone with similar interests, attitudes, and world view it just happens that I found one - we both did.

Changes17 · 17/03/2023 16:57

MintTeaAndChocolate · 17/03/2023 16:53

A friend of my mother's married an Italian Prince. She had no idea. He didn't tell her. She was a social worker. They now live in his inherited stately pile.

How did they meet?

MNisMyGuiltyPleasure · 17/03/2023 16:58

I am the higher earner by far - we met through OLD.

Panicmode1 · 17/03/2023 17:00

We met as students...both earned just into 6 figures by the time I became a SAHM..I'm back at work, several years and 4 children later, in a non-related field, part time and not earning anywhere near my previous salary!!

Bokky · 17/03/2023 17:01

I met my DH OLD. He didn't earn anywhere near 6 figures at that stage but hard work and promotions has got him there. We are both from similar class families and I also have a good job but earn nowhere near what he does.

Pointeless · 17/03/2023 17:05

We met at university. The 'right' ones (ugh) - Oxbridge plus a handful of others - were awash with high-earning-potential and/or family money types back in the day, they probably still are. There were a fair few proper twats to avoid but I managed it and that's just life I guess!

MavisTheMonkey · 17/03/2023 17:05

Exactly the same position as @Justbetweenus
We are a team and there is no way I could have achieved my role / salary without his support.
I'm actually considering a step back and he is considering taking a big step up at work so this time next year the roles could be reversed.

BounceyB · 17/03/2023 17:07

Met my ex through OLD. He worked in banking, I was a lawyer. I earnt well but nowhere near him so after babies, I gave up working. It was a hard relationship but not because of his attitude to me.

After we broke up, I went back to work and am now earning good money again and with our divorce settlement am financially secure. I definitely out earn my new boyfriend. Been together a year now and there haven't been issues so far but we don't live together yet.

sixfoot · 17/03/2023 17:12

Spambod · 17/03/2023 16:55

Get one that’s young and poor and just starting out but is hardworking with ambition. When older they are so busy earning their money and too involved in a senior career to be very available.

This is true for both of us. Young and poor when wet met but with good work ethic and ambition, things really start kicking off professionally mid 40s-early 50s and then neither has the desire to stop work because we love what we do and are better rewarded year on year.

emituofo · 17/03/2023 17:13

I met my hubby when we were both living abroad ( we came from different countires / culture backgrounds).

When we met he didnt earn 6 figures yet, he was only 25 on an above average salary, mine was slightly lower but not bad. We both came from average families where parents worked in offices and had average salaries. We both went to uni and worked as professionals. He never had any financial support from his parents since he turned 18.

After having kids I became a SAHM. He earns 6 figures now. I wouldnt say we are wealthy due to onlu one income and high taxes, but we do have a good work / life balance.

I have never looked for a rich guy to date and never thought my hubby could be earning this much. At the time I only saw a smart passionate young man, who worked hard.

PlainJaneSuperbrainthe2nd · 17/03/2023 17:13

We were on similar salaries when we met but I am public sector and DH private - working for large global company - so his earning potential was higher. Babies, part time for me (at my desire) and DH now earns quite a lot. Then a large bonus and shares on top. It was certainly not something I imagined when we met. In fact it is only in the last 2 year when his salary has taken a huge leap. I'm very grateful for it but also wary of getting too used to it! He enjoys his work but if he started hating it or getting ill I would fully support belt tightening etc.

Scottishflower65 · 17/03/2023 17:13

I am the higher earner and always have been. Both WC, me very 🤣. Met at work. Always treated the money as ours. Which is just as well as he has now come into a substantial sum.

NotMyDayJob · 17/03/2023 17:14

Spambod · 17/03/2023 16:55

Get one that’s young and poor and just starting out but is hardworking with ambition. When older they are so busy earning their money and too involved in a senior career to be very available.

I see you've met my DH 🤣

But seriously, he's a couple of years younger than me, but was earning basically peanuts when we met and I earned more (although nothing ridiculous), but one of the things I really liked was his work ethic, and 15 years later he earns well in excess of £100k. But he also knows he couldn't have done it without me. I don't just mean staying at home looking after the kids or anything, but helping with interview prep in earlier parts of his career, that sort of thing.

I do think it also helped that he's v intuitive and recognise the right time to segue into the tech industry and we're always prepared for that not to work out so we don't like extravagantly.

Am slightly disappointed he's not an Italian prince however.

2under2life · 17/03/2023 17:15

I met my husband whilst we both worked in London. We met in a bar near Liverpool Street when we were both on a night out. He’s in finance and I was from an admin background so he has always earned significantly more then me. Neither of us come from privileged backgrounds.

His friendship groups are all high earners and most of them met their wives at university.

Scottishflower65 · 17/03/2023 17:15

I saw something in one the newspapers recently that suggested a good tactic was to set your location on dating apps to “rich” areas.

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