How to bag a rich husband?

[Sugarfish]

I’m not really looking for a rich husband, I’m in a very happy long term relationship with my average earning partner, but I’ve seen a lot of threads here where women are married to dh’s who earn over 6 figures. And I’m just being nosey about how you met. Currently have covid and bored but also genuinely interested. Especially if you’re from different “classes” as I’m from a working class family and in my circles, no one earns close to that so I would not know where to look even if I did want to “marry well” as my mother would call it!

If you come from a high earning family, did you always have an expectation that you’d have a certain lifestyle so specifically chose someone with a high earning job? Or are you also a high earner and met through work / uni. If you’re a low earner compared to your husband, do you ever feel like he thinks he’s more important in the relationship because of this, and how did you meet him?

Also to switch it round for fairness, if you’re the higher earner, how did you meet and does your dh ever feel threatened? Do people ever comment on it?

Have any of you ever faced and snobbery / reverse snobbery due to your choice of Partner?

You have lost sight of reality.

DH was on peanuts when we met. I wasn't worried about salary in a partner as I have a good one myself (albeit nowhere near 6 figures). He retrained into a more lucrative area and has an above average basic salary in his job, but is tipped into 6 figures via income from investments. My salary gave him space to afford to retrain so he has never looked down on me.

He is from a WC background, i am from a lower end MC background. We met at a sports match.

Suspect it was meant a little bitchy. Median full time earnings in London is just shy of 42k. So you’re right, it’s not remotely average. Suspect the posters know it.

To be fair, I also don’t consider 140k “Rich” though , I consider it comfortable if a partner was earning similar I’d consider it moving into wealthy.

However I understand it’s about context. If you are on 30k then it will seem Rich, if you’re on 500k not so much.

two average earners on 42k each will bring in 6k a month after tax.

one earner on 140k brings in 7k.

So a family with a single earner of 140k is actually not a huge amount better off that two average earners both on 42.

the difference comes in when the 140k partner also has an above average earning partner.

No it's not.

My friends and I all came from working class backgrounds. We've all worked hard from the bottom of the career ladder (in different industries) to the top and are all high earners. None of us had financial help from our parents - my parents couldn't afford to support me! I took a sponsored degree (the first generation of my family to go to Uni) and then worked up the career ladder.

My husband has worked up the ladder at the same pace as me.

He’s on 140 and she’s on 70. That’s £210K a year. If you don’t consider a household on that to be rich, then we exist in very different universes! I like your universe and would like to live there, please!

The OP said 6 figures. On Mumsnet it's mostly no income, benefits, minimum wage, working class, lower middle class. Lower middle class will see rich as the top end of £150k because that's usually as good as it gets. £450k peeps are not really going to be on this thread although my ex boss was really thick and earned that. I am in the lower middle class bracket in the UK so can see why most people will see £150k as a high wage although in London £250k as a couple is not much let one £140k.

This couple earns over 200K a year. Again, they’re in the top 1% of the country. Only about half a million people (out of circa 60 million people) earn that much. It can’t be ‘not much in London’. That simply makes no sense. They earn 5 times the average London wage.

Why people are so weird about money on MN baffles me. The stats aren’t ambiguous. 😂

Sorry, what??

Are we saying £140,000 income/year is "average" ? For 30 year olds in London? ...

Umm I earn about a quarter of this. I'm a similar age. I have studied for about 12 years post school. I work full time. I am... a doctor.

I met my husband through an old fashioned (not online) introduction agency. There was a highish registration fee (over £1000), which i though would weed out those just looking to hook up. That he was a high earner was incidental, but his ambition and drive was certainly very attractive. I worked in a creative field and was self supporting and owned a small house (I was 39 when I met him), and my hope was I would meet someone who earned at least what I did, which wouldn't have been hard. We had similar education levels and intellect, but he was in a much more lucrative field and was very driven, I was not.

150k is high to me! I’d be in poverty on my meagre wage in London!

Unfortunately with the cost of living crisis that’s not even a joke. Perhaps I should take some tips from this thread after all 🤔

I don't live in London however. Genuinely curious how others on lower incomes survive? I'm well aware there are NHS porters, cleaners, catering staff, assistant roles etc - how on Earth are they surviving? Obviously these roles are required in every hospital everywhere in the UK.

Imnabc. You obviously move in very different circles to me. I consider 140 K a very good salary.
I'm happy to hang around canary wharf in my Gym gear or whatever to have a few years of a husband with that salary.
Another tactic is to hang around near an officers mess and bag yourself a major.
Wouldn't mind being a kept woman for a few years. Am in my 50s and need a bit of luxury now.

I know people who work in London but don’t live in the centre. They tend to live in the far outer zones although they can still be expensive. All of them live in small flats and some have second jobs.

Name change as it’s outing! Met DH online. I earn a good salary but I could never earn as much as he does. He is much more driven than me. His parents are also multimillionaires but they are so modest and down to earth - money is never talked about. We have a wonderful home but other than luxury holidays - we don’t really splurge on anything.

He or his parents have never looked down on me or judged me for not having money. My husband is so down to earth and he surprises me all the time with how generous he is (charity, with me, within our community).

Met at Uni. For all I knew he was a farmer's boy. Didn't realise that was his dad's early retirement job after a successful career. We've owned our house outright from age 30 thanks to (his) family help.

Tbf, I earned more than him for a bit and supported him when he had to repeat parts of his degree (I'm a little older than him), but he got into tech and now earns a lot more.

I fell in love with him for him. My sister married for money and it's not pleasant to witness what she puts up with.

You're right - only a small amount of people in the UK earn money like that - I'll be honest on a £250k ish household income I don't feel rich, just comfortable. Again it's about what and whom you're surrounded by.

This thread just goes to show how ridiculous salaries are. My dh manages projects worth tens of millions that affect millions of people and can probably not ever earn more than around £100k.
I work in a sector where only a few people, one each at the very top of the very biggest organisation in the country earn £100k.
The fact that some on this thread think £140k is quite ordinary is both funny and appalling.

I'm from a middle class family where money felt tight because parents were careful. We had swimming lessons and learned instruments and lived in a lovely big old house. But we hardly ever went out for meals and didn't fly off to hotels abroad. I grew up being careful with money too and a bit suspicious of 'rich' people I.e. conspicuous wealth.

DH's parents grew up working class but benefited from civil service pensions and the housing boom and now behave 'middle class'. Though they're very aware of status and presenting themselves well - which I feel are true indicators of being working class. They like to buy new stuff all the time and they eat out weekly at least. They're happy, that's fine.

DH's career has been on a field that attracts high salaries and they are obviously pleased as punch and proud of him, rightly so. I was wary of his money when we met and though he assures me it's 'our' money, my upbringing tells me I should pay my way.

My parents have left me a large amount in inheritance as they were careful and invested for our and our children's futures. DH's parents don't have much between them - they've spent it all having a nice life.

So I don't think it's as simple as having money and not having money. It's about what you value. And I think there's still a strong class element in that.

I didn’t say it was average. You might want to take that up with @lmnabc , @Inject and @Pizzadreams 😊

Met in pub
He's a top geek
Nothing glamorous but the geeks shall inherit the earth

Earns more money than we can spend or put in pensions.

We’re the other way round.. DH is higher earner by long way; but on paper I have had a better education and been to top uni but never really pursued a great career. Now I earn pretty average but just had 18 months off with baby. His childhood was v poor, when we met he was in professional sports but when that ended he took himself to uni and on graduating spent 4 years working like a dog and moved jobs several times to his current position.

Sorry, to answer your actual question, we met at a friend's wedding and we fancied each other. We're very different also it's a case of opposites attract. I found his wealth a bit of a threat and 18 years on still reassure him that I'd still love him if he gave up his job to be a pig farmer or whatever. His money isn't important.

I didn't say it was average. I said it wasn't a lot. UK residents don't earn much money. When I think of just UK then yes it's a lot for the majority.

This post got me thinking, I had 2 very rich boyfriends when I was younger & had I stayed with them (I was too young to settle) I’d want for nothing now!

I like my life now, I don’t earn a lot but I’ve saved where I could & I’m ok. I can afford to get my DD’s food from Aldi & mine from Waitrose😜

I don’t want rich, I want funny & kind.

If not looking for crazy wealthy, but your average 6 figure London city male type, then get an MBA and meet them on both your ways up?