Please talk me out of getting rid of my lodger-I can't afford it can I?

[midlander79]

A month or so ago I told my lodger to start looking elsewhere as our arrangement wasn't working. He did but hasn't found anywhere. He is totally the type to give up and hope I'll sort of forget about it. I was about to write formal notice (although I am not a totally horrible person and will give him more than the statutory seven days) and then I was made redundant.

I have about £3K in savings. I have applied for JSA. Not entitled to UC. Earn about £100 a month from freelance work. I am quite employable and am sure I will find work soon-but I haven't been actively looking because some of the people from my old work are making noises about setting up on our own and I'd much rather do that, but I don't know what is happening with that yet.

I've also some life struggles involving family and other things th.at are really hard to work through-with that and work my head is all over the place.
I really really REALLY want him out. I want my space back.
He drives me insane as he doesn't DO anything! Just hangs about the house all day-only goes out to the supermarket and jobcentre a couple of times per week. He's incredibly nosy about everything I do, interjects on conversations I have with visitors or on the phone, and constantly nitpicks at me for any slight misdemeanor.
I probably sound unhinged-I've wanted him out for a long time but talked myself out of it due to feeling it isn't fair on him and other reasons (cost of living/bills etc)... it'd be financially idiotic to get rid of him now, now I have no income, wouldn't it?

He wont come on here. I doubt he even knows MN exists and he isn't a reader. Without trying to sound mean, he isn't very intelligent. Thank you for looking out for me.

The boundaries thing is very true. As is his total lack of self awareness. He sees himself as this meek, shy character who everyone mistreats, and won't hear any word to the contrary.

I understand what you mean.

I do think it would be worth notifying the authorities of his behaviour, though, and how difficult it has been to get him away from you - not to prosecute him or anything! But so that there's a flag on him and if anything was to occur, you've already got it in place that this is someone who has caused you bother in the past. It could be important.

In your position I would apply for a Non-molestation order on the basis of his coercive behaviour, the length of time and battle it took to get him out and his ongoing contacts/fixation on you. If granted it will prevent him from coming to your home or getting in touch again and would send a strong message that you are done letting him encroach on your life. Jolly glad to hear he is out at last!

Gosh !!!

This is very sad to read OP

Can't imagine going through all this utter nonsense

(I'm putting up with a pita guest who pees fcking everywhere)
This is on another flipping level xxxxx

Thank you for all the support everyone-again I had a lot of pms asking to read my more thorough account of his behaviour, if I have missed yours please send me another one-it wasn't purposeful.

I am considering a non-mol, but he's gone quiet now.

In case anybody reads this, I felt I'd update with a message that ex lodger has sent me recently-everyone was so helpful before.

He has said that he is pursuing an ASD diagnosis.

And wants me to know this because he feels it may make me more understanding of his being the way he was. He's said that 'one of the symptoms is not knowing when you are being rude to or around people' and that I shouldn't blame him so much for it now I know, but be more forgiving and compassionate about the situation.

Prior to this, I'd not heard from him in months, and that was a message about how I shouldn't have got rid of him (I forget exactly what it said now and I didn't respond).

Quite fitting that it is about a year ago when I chucked him out.

He actually included in the message that in light of this new information, you should be more forgiving of him? LOL his rudeness and entitlement is nothing to do with autism. I'm autistic and work extensively with other autistic people and can tell you that just like any other population group, our personalities and manners vary wildly; that's just humans. He is rude, entitled, self centred and imposing.

Yes, he did! I should be more compassionate and forgiving. I don't think it is ASD either-he was just rude and boorish amongst an awful lot of other (worse) things!

He’s a self obsessed twat .

@midlander79 is it possible his years lease is up where he's living now and he's angling to move back? Just ignore the arsehole

I was in a somewhat similar situation to this. I had left the armed forces and had lodgers in the house covering the mortgage and bills. I also had a cushion of savings while I looked for employment. Current lodger is on UC, gets his rent paid direct to me. Rent has been consistently reliable...however that has been the only positive. He has continually smoked in the house for nearly a year and a half, got a dog without asking permission first, sits around the house most of the time and isn't even expected to look for work, claiming mental health issues. I gave him a polite letter of notice to move out...saying I had come to realise having a lodger wasn't for me, but kept it in general terms. If he makes a fuss I will pull out the smoking card, damage to house furnishings and quite a few other issues. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.

In your situation I would do the same, give notice to move out and be more selective and careful who you allow to live in your home.

Mainpainter75,
i think you need to read OP's latest posts; he's been gone over a year now.
how are you, OP ?
hope all is well.
Mainpainter, remember that you don't need a reason, let alone a good reason to evict your lodger.
they have v few rights, they are not tenants.
avoid any discussion about his behaviour.
keep it brief, formal, and definite.