Please talk me out of getting rid of my lodger-I can't afford it can I?

[midlander79]

A month or so ago I told my lodger to start looking elsewhere as our arrangement wasn't working. He did but hasn't found anywhere. He is totally the type to give up and hope I'll sort of forget about it. I was about to write formal notice (although I am not a totally horrible person and will give him more than the statutory seven days) and then I was made redundant.

I have about £3K in savings. I have applied for JSA. Not entitled to UC. Earn about £100 a month from freelance work. I am quite employable and am sure I will find work soon-but I haven't been actively looking because some of the people from my old work are making noises about setting up on our own and I'd much rather do that, but I don't know what is happening with that yet.

I've also some life struggles involving family and other things th.at are really hard to work through-with that and work my head is all over the place.
I really really REALLY want him out. I want my space back.
He drives me insane as he doesn't DO anything! Just hangs about the house all day-only goes out to the supermarket and jobcentre a couple of times per week. He's incredibly nosy about everything I do, interjects on conversations I have with visitors or on the phone, and constantly nitpicks at me for any slight misdemeanor.
I probably sound unhinged-I've wanted him out for a long time but talked myself out of it due to feeling it isn't fair on him and other reasons (cost of living/bills etc)... it'd be financially idiotic to get rid of him now, now I have no income, wouldn't it?

Please get rid of him, it stresses me out just thinking about this.

@Twinedpeaks well strictly speaking I'm entitled to something like 0.29p per week apparently!
My gf would floor him if he started anything. I'll type up formal notice today. It might sound daft but I honestly feel his behaviiur has made me quite depressed. Just the thought of financial issues when he goes is quite scary.

I'm surprised you've let him stay so long. Give him formal notice today. Your mental health will improve not living with such an intrusive strange man.

It really doesn’t sound daft at all.
Living with someone like that is bound to have an impact on your mental health. You are going to feel such a massive relief when he goes. It might make things harder financially but it will also make you feel better able to take control and tackle things.

He sounds completely and utterly AWFUL! He sounds like a live-in version of the random man who constantly tells you to smile. He needs to fuck right off. He seems to have this desire to insinuate himself into your life and make you as dependent on him or “owe” him favours, etc so you feel obligated to keep him around. Yuuuuuck! (Love that an unemployed PITA has a go at you for sleeping in.)

You could always collect a load of spiders and chuck them in his bedroom. Might resolve the issue on its own.

Could not be doing with a man like this interfering and lazing around all day, no matter how much money it brought in. WOuld rather do without the extra income! Get rid OP!

Get rid - he sounds awful. You will be so relieved to have him gone

Just get rid , and do it quickly . I would really have to be on my uppers to have a lodger and stories like this one are why .

Lodgers have no rights at all, you can just ask him to pack up and leave right now.

He sounds toxic and is wearing you down.

Get him out

I’d try and get work with a temp agency just to tide you over until you see if the ex-work business pans out and give him notice.

Get Rid. Tell him he has to be out by Sunday night. He's had ages to find somewhere already. Can your gf stay until then?

He's beyond awful, do you accept that or do we need to explain how 'out of order' he is?

If you need to get somewhere difficult, get a taxi.

UC. I have never claimed & don't really understand it, but with so little in savings why don't you qualify for more than a nominal amount?

Get a job, you don't have the luxury in not bothering. IF the start up takes off it'll take ages & you can resign from your new job if the business is actually viable. It's absolute madness putting off job hunting on the hope this pans out.

Sorry to hear about your injury, I hope it wasn't too traumatic at the time & that you're healing.

Family issues can be a nightmare, but being unemployed and broke won't help with that. You need A job.

You need some help to get your thoughts straight. Look at local charities that do counselling. My friend went through his GP & was referred to a local charity. He pays £40 for an hour weekly & it seems to be helping somewhat.

...be strong.

If you have a lodger and need to claim benefit won’t that be counted as income? Might be better to get rid of him now. Better for your mental health too

Include in the notice that all his belongings must be removed too, and that if they're not gone within 30 days of his leaving they will be disposed of.

He sounds like a live-in version of the random man who constantly tells you to smile.

This.

Lodger income is not counted for universal credit.

I didn’t know that 🙂

@Fraaahnces I didn't think of that! He lies about his routine 'I always get up at 0900' (for example)-he doesn't! Sometimes It's 11 am ish-It doesn't matter, I care not a jot about his morning rising time other than the later the better so he's not in my face but lying and then having a go at me is really annoying.

I used to work nights too and he used to tell me off for lying in bed the day of a night shift, saying I didn't need to sleep that day because I hadn't worked the night before. I asked him if he didn't bother going to sleep on a Sunday night when he was working-as he was working the Monday but hadn't worked the Sunday-because that's basically the same thing!

@ginghamstarfish he is very lazy-doesn't do much at all in terms of housework but also in terms of life! He literally just sits about!

@gamerchick I'd do that other than he'd kill them and I like spiders! I have told him he's not allowed to kill them (or any animal!) in my home.

@WinterMusings that's one of my tasks today. I've signed up for some temporary jobs and PAYG type things (I am a tutor).
She can't unfortunately-I am not sure-hadn't thought of that (regarding other MN users confirming how out of order he is).
I am looking for work, anything would do for now really.
Thank you for the sympathies-it was awful but i am okay now (not in terms of injury, I am still injured and undergoing treatment soon).
I am not sure I can afford £40 weekly but I may try to get some through my GP. I am in psychosexual therapy for the aforementioned injury.

Well for anyone wanting an update I did give him formal notice. He should have been out by the 17th at the latest. He hasn't gone. He argued about it. He is looking for somewhere now though. It took him two weeks to start looking at all but I didn't know he hadn't. He went out one day and I asked had he been looking at a house and he said no. He then messaged me (from his room) saying he didn't realise I was serious, he thought I was just 'sulking' and that he just thought 'how can she want me to go, I'm perfect!'. I am aghast. He's been provisionally accepted somewhere but it isn't available until June.

I dont know whether to tell him he absolutely needs to go, go and live in a hostel or with family, I can't wait any longer, or whether to grit my teeth and get through it.

I'd give him 48hrs to be out of the house and threaten calling the police to remove him if he refuses.
You have been way way more patient than I would have been. He's had heaps of notice!

Get rid. He's had warning, now you need to follow through. It's not your problem if he hasn't bothered to find anywhere else. Have you got any burly friends who can be about while he packs his stuff in case he turns nasty? If the worst comes to the worst, pack up his stuff while he's out and leave it by the front door. I'd advise changing the locks once he's gone.

When we had cash flow issues we had a lodger Mon-Thu nights as he worked in our city and lived elsewhere. It was brilliant as he was out at work for long hours and basically went straight to bed when he got in, and we had the place to ourselves at weekends.

He's eroding your self confidence by continually questioning your decisions and actions.
He needs to be living somewhere else.

He's now in breach of his notice. He's a lodger not a tenant. Give him 48hrs MAX to clear out and mean it. If he doesn't go, you can put a lock on his door and change the house locks even if his stuff hasn't gone.

https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/ending-a-letting

I suggest you be prepared to do this.

June will be bullshit. He's just going to wait you out. Give him 2 days from today and tell him he'll have to stay elsewhere until June.

In 2 days get his key off him.

It's his problem if he didn't take an eviction notice seriously and now has nowhere else to stay. Tell him to leave and that you're not interested where he's going, just that he leaves your house and hands over his key.