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Original poster

Did he propose? Am I engaged?

396 replies

crymeout · 13/03/2023 07:41

DP and I are in the process of buying a house. We've talked about getting married before and wanting to be married but we are going to wait until we move (we never explicitly said this but it was understood by both from circumstances). Last night, we were celebrating our house purchase (I wasn't feeling well at the weekend) and had quite a lot of Prosecco/champagne. At one point DP says 'now all that's left to do is get married' and I said 'yes, please' and we kissed. Does that count? A, I now engaged? DP is fast asleep so can't ask him yet but would you say that counts/assume you were engaged after that??

OP posts:
Slimjimtobe · 13/03/2023 08:02

well it does sound good op !! tell him you are happy with that as the proposal and get cracking on arrangements

MissingMoominMamma · 13/03/2023 08:03

Aww! Even if he, or you proposes formally now, that will always be your moment!

Ask him whether you’re engaged when he wakes up- then tell us!!

Spanielsarepainless · 13/03/2023 08:03

My DH came into the bedroom with his face half-shaved and half covered in shaving foam and asked if I would marry him.

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Changedmymindtoday · 13/03/2023 08:03

Nooooooo defo not

Abraxan · 13/03/2023 08:08

I've never really understood the whole knowing you are going to get married, discussing it together as something you both know will happen but then agreeing to get engaged at a later date.

Surely the discussing and agreeing you will get married IS the engagement really?

But I've never been bothered about the concept of a 'proper' proposal.

Emmamoo89 · 13/03/2023 08:11

Nope

HyacinthineMacaw · 13/03/2023 08:15

Abraxan · 13/03/2023 08:08

I've never really understood the whole knowing you are going to get married, discussing it together as something you both know will happen but then agreeing to get engaged at a later date.

Surely the discussing and agreeing you will get married IS the engagement really?

But I've never been bothered about the concept of a 'proper' proposal.

I agree with this. The first time you discussed and agreed you’d both like to marry, you became engaged - which is short for ‘engaged to be married’, and not a separate state.

A staged proposal isn’t how two people who want to be married and together forever make such an important decision. It should be mutual. It’s one of the biggest decisions you’ll make your life. You two sound like you’ve done it the right way!

Cas112 · 13/03/2023 08:16

No

butterfliedtwo · 13/03/2023 08:17

If you have to ask strangers, then no. Just talk to him and set a date/go to the registry office.

Silverlog · 13/03/2023 08:19

No you're not engaged.

LesserBohemians · 13/03/2023 08:19

Abraxan · 13/03/2023 08:08

I've never really understood the whole knowing you are going to get married, discussing it together as something you both know will happen but then agreeing to get engaged at a later date.

Surely the discussing and agreeing you will get married IS the engagement really?

But I've never been bothered about the concept of a 'proper' proposal.

This. You’ve been engaged for ages, OP, since whenever you talked about marriage as something you both wanted and planned together. That’s all an engagement is — the recognition that you both intend to marry one another.

Dumpruntime · 13/03/2023 08:20

lol no of course not, I can’t believe some folks are desperately trying to twist that into a proposal and formal engagement

op ask him though, you need to talk about it.

oneforthemoneytwofortheshow · 13/03/2023 08:22

No and if that was his proposal I would be very disappointed!

shakeitoffsis · 13/03/2023 08:23

What on earth, absolutely not!

Ndd135632 · 13/03/2023 08:24

No. He has to ask you properly and usually with a ring. That will happen. Be patient. He simply said next up marriage. But no he hasn’t proposed yet.

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 13/03/2023 08:25

Dumpruntime · 13/03/2023 08:20

lol no of course not, I can’t believe some folks are desperately trying to twist that into a proposal and formal engagement

op ask him though, you need to talk about it.

Well it’s not ‘formal’ until you have told both families, but it certainly counts as a proposal of marriage. I’m assuming he is a sincere person. It was sealed with a kiss.

LesserBohemians · 13/03/2023 08:26

Ndd135632 · 13/03/2023 08:24

No. He has to ask you properly and usually with a ring. That will happen. Be patient. He simply said next up marriage. But no he hasn’t proposed yet.

‘He’ really doesn’t, you know.

user1496262496 · 13/03/2023 08:27

Just ask him! Why does it have to be the man who proposes?

Mariposa26 · 13/03/2023 08:27

No, I wouldn’t say so. Not because there needs to be a big showy proposal or ring, but because it sounds like he was stating a fact rather than actually asking you. I’m sure it will happen soon though!

bottolololcks · 13/03/2023 08:27

words are cheap
wait for the actions

SallyWD · 13/03/2023 08:31

Don't ask us, ask him!!!

Changingplace · 13/03/2023 08:32

Dumpruntime · 13/03/2023 08:20

lol no of course not, I can’t believe some folks are desperately trying to twist that into a proposal and formal engagement

op ask him though, you need to talk about it.

I can’t believe in the year 2023 some people think that a woman has to sit meekly and await an official ‘proposal’ from a man on a huge important decision about the rest of both their lives, it’s insane!

OP, have a conversation over breakfast - tbh I’d just be saying when are we setting the wedding date then, it’s so old fashioned to think getting married isn’t a joint decision.

saveforthat · 13/03/2023 08:32

Mumsnet amazes me. On every other type of thread, women are told to be strong, be equal, have a voice, make joint decisions, blah blah blah. With proposals it's "he has to ask and buy a ring". If you want to be his wife, tell him you want to get married soon.

Changingplace · 13/03/2023 08:33

Mariposa26 · 13/03/2023 08:27

No, I wouldn’t say so. Not because there needs to be a big showy proposal or ring, but because it sounds like he was stating a fact rather than actually asking you. I’m sure it will happen soon though!

Why does he have to be the one asking? They’re on the same page on this it’s a decision not a question.

Changingplace · 13/03/2023 08:34

saveforthat · 13/03/2023 08:32

Mumsnet amazes me. On every other type of thread, women are told to be strong, be equal, have a voice, make joint decisions, blah blah blah. With proposals it's "he has to ask and buy a ring". If you want to be his wife, tell him you want to get married soon.

Totally agree, it’s utterly baffling that so many women have such incredibly old fashioned views about proposals, so weird.