Five people missing in south Wales.

[DanteThunderstone]

Very strange and worrying situation. Please keep an eye out if you're local. www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/23364255.three-newport-women-missing-night-city/?ref=twtrec

Completely agree with this

Maybe you should hide the thread and stop derailing it by attacking posters for completely inoffensive comments.

Except your comments were not inoffensive were they?

At least two other posters aside from me took offence at your posts.

To be fair it is rather insensitive to comment on how beautiful you find one of the dead and not mention the others

Why would the looks of any of them be relevant?

Omg!!! They were all really beautiful young people but it was the top headline front page news that Eve's family were on a reality TV about her losing her older sister to a drug driver in 2015. I was commenting on her specifically because she is the one who lost a sister to an accident as well. And I said she was beautiful. There is nothing offensive about this!

As I said in my original post, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. But it is worth thinking about. I saw it loads on threads about Emma pattison and her daughter, about how beautiful they were. Lamenting how beautiful someone was when they’ve died, really does place value on their looks and the fact that their looks wouldn’t be mentioned if they weren’t good looking then is really something to consider. It really does suggest that it is sadder if they were beautiful. It really does. Even if you don’t consciously accept that. What else could it possibly mean

We often exclaim about a situation without meaning to imply what our words actually say.

Perhaps best to avoid both causing offence, and taking offence, when everyone is understandably sensitive.

Beautiful is a loaded word, often used to mean far more than actual physical beauty.
It does distress those who might not see themselves as being physically 'beautiful'.

I don’t disagree with this but my objection to talking about someone who has died as beautiful,has nothing to do with my beauty or lack thereof, and everything to do with how we value people and how news stories have much more impact on people and get more coverage when the person concerned is beautiful.

No, I disagree. Unless you also think people shouldn’t be described as ‘successful’, ‘ambitious’ or ‘popular’ as well? All subjective descriptors used when somebody dies. It’s just beauty that seems to be so frowned upon by some people.

I agree. I should have added that.

Beautiful people are not more valuable than anyone else.

I don't think it's used to mean physically beautiful anyway, though.
It's a different, intangible quality I think people reference. Perhaps 'appealing' or 'attractive' are more what people mean.
It's all about the warmth of the photo, somehow.

I do object to those terms actually when someone has died, if it’s used in the way of “oh my gosh it’s so sad she has died, and she was so beautiful/successful/popular”
As it absolutely makes it look much more sad because of that persons successes, personality or looks. Every death is sad and these exclamations about how someone was a certain way really does suggest it’s not as sad if they weren’t beautiful/successful/popular.
i really do think that some missing people / murder victims are mourned more by the general public because of those characteristics and it’s not right

So what do you write? A brief summary with name, date of birth and employment status? Or no employment status because people might care less if they were on the dole? No photo? The fact is the public’s interest is piqued by the deaths of people who are young, successful, beautiful or famous. Even on MN the sad death of the headteacher at the hands of her husband the other week gathered a lot of attention because she was highly successful. Had she worked in Spar I doubt she would’ve got a mention on here.

Dear God- people are dead and 2 badly injured and a few of you are squabbling over rubbish...get a grip

It's tragic regardless of the details.

I don’t think it’s rubbish at all, I think it’s important to consider what values we knowingly or unconsciously put on people’s lives. But point taken.
Although I’d argue it’s better derailment that the ghoulish talk which happens on these threads

@XelaM your posts are deeply insensitive. The ones earlier in the thread picking over the criminal records is those involved are plain disgusting.

Wtf is wrong with some people?

What is insensitive about saying someone is beautiful?!?!?! And I never looked through anyone's criminal record on social media because I wouldn't even know where to begin. It's on the front page of several newspapers that Eve's sister was killed when she was a passenger in a drug/drink driver's car in 2015. It's also in the same article who the male victim was (although I never said anything about him).

This is a ghastly thread. One to hide

She thought to herself, while commenting.

I didn't say you did - other posters earlier in the thread were.

And yes, your posts were insensitive, as others have pointed out.

I see your point, but it's also I think fairly natural to be 'if only they hadn't...' or 'why did they...', when something terrible has happened. It's just your brain trying to make sense of it.

I don't think XelaM meant to come across as insensitive or offensive. You're all being unreasonably harsh with her.

@1offnamechange Thank you.

Even if all 5 of the phones in car (assuming they had one each) were damaged, I don't understand why the location of at least one of them couldn't have have been picked up earlier? Surely all 5 of the GPS locaters couldn't have been destroyed even if the phones were smashed? What would have been needed to be done to find that? Mobile phone providers are open over the weekend.

Horrendous enough what happened but to think they were there dying and injured for almost 48 hours, and potentially could have been saved (and the two seriously injured could have had a better outcome) if treated earlier must be too much to bear for the families on top of that.

Phone location doesn't give pinpoint accuracy, it gives the location of the nearest cell tower, which could still be miles away from someone's actual location depending on the area. There are a lot of lanes and reens around that area as it gets closer to the coast, so even knowing the nearest cell tower wouldn't give much more than a rough location with a lot of avenues to explore.