I haven't eaten properly for months & my house is a tip. I hate being me.

[HoppingMarchHares]

I live on my own in a tiny one bedroom flat. I have adhd. I also have depression.
I have absolutely no interest in cooking food. I don't remember the last time I ate a proper meal. I don't eat at proper meal times.
Yesterday I ate 3 donuts, 2 packs of cadbury chocolate fingers and 2 bars of galaxy chocolate. That's it.
Today I've had quaker golden syrup porridge, tesco meal deal wrap and crisps, box of fingers, bar of galaxy chocolate and 3 potato waffles (not together,.obviously). Weirdly tho I've actually lost 1.5 stone since October.

My house is also an absolute pig sty. Haven't done any laundry for a few days but laundry basket is empty because my dirty clothes are all over the floor. Haven't washed dishes for a few days (not that I've used many). But I have no motivation to do it.

I have depression but it's controlled and I don't feel like I'm going through a bad patch.

I am so so so so tired all the time too. I've had a cold this week that hasn't helped but I have been going to bed around 9pm, waking around 1am then 5am for toilet, then up for the day about 8am so really I'm getting enough sleep so why am I so tired.

I don't know how to get out of this rut and to start eating better. I go the supermarket and don't have a clue what to buy other than junk food. I seem to have forgotten how to eat normal. It doesn't help that food is so expensive.

Don't even know what I want from this. Just so tired.

I feel the same. Stuck and can't get out of cycle due to fatigue.

I knew before I even read your post this would be about ADHD.

Prepare for the onslaught of (well meaning) people telling you to declutter and meal plan.

I have ADHD too and if I was single I know I would be the same as you but my husband does so much for me.

If you’re unmedicated and can’t be medicated then I don’t know what the answer is (and medication isn’t always the answer either) but one recommendation I have is set yourself one achievable goal to do every day. Something tiny and once you’ve done that every day for a month add on something else. I really do mean something tiny.

I hope you’re ok. I can empathise with you so much. It’s such a hard way to live, it really is.

💐
what would help?

I have ADHD and have experienced this many times. In my case it’s always been due to burnout. Meds (Amotoxine?) have helped to reduce my chocolate intake and binge eating more generally. I’m currently exhausted due to life circumstances and am having to rely on Cook ready meals to ensure I’m having at least one balanced meal a day

Could you try getting in some inexpensive ready meals just so you can break the cycle of the non-meals that you are eating now? Or some frozen veg to make some soup? Not proper cooking and you can get some veg into you for cheap.

I'm sorry

Do you have a sense of what would help you out of this rut? Sometimes managing to change one small thing can start an upward cycle of improvement.

My easiest healthy meal cheat is to buy frozen veg, and have it as a side with whatever I'm eating. It's just a few mins in the microwave and feels really healthy.

Pick up ten items of dirty washing and put them in the laundry basket.
Don't wait for motivation.

What do you like eating. Work backwards. Print off a couple of recipes you likes eating and buy those ingredients.

I have bouts of depression and feel exhausted on Saturdays. I can understand how things feel overwhelming. Could you get a cleaner in once a month? I do this and it really helps.

I try and do things a bit at a time and then have a rest.

I totally understand where yiu are coming from. if I didn't have children I would live off of chocolate. Even with the children I really struggle with cooking and really hate thinking off stuff to make. For some reason I find stuff I have to make on the hob easier than things I need to do in the oven but that might just be specific to me. If I am struggling I just do something like beans on toast or lentil soup (which I only put a stock cube and red lentils into!!) , baked potato done in microwave. Also sometimes boxes like Hello Fresh or Gousto help me get cooking but I would only choose 2 recipes a week as I get overwhelmed.
I'm still battling with tidiness- I dint think that will ever go away despite the fact I hate being untidy. I have an asd diagnosis but never been assessed for adhd

You’ve posted because you want to change things @HoppingMarchHares which is a great first step.

If you feel that your depression is under control then this is about managing your ADHD.

Whenever you’re feeling like you’re stuck, try and find just the smallest thing that will get you another step forward. It doesn’t have to be a completed job.
Perhaps just making your bed, stacking all the dirty dishes in the sink or putting one wash load on.
baby steps are the way forward. You can only eat the elephant one bite at a time

Hello, sorry to hear this.

I learnt the word 'allaborate' which is to work hard & gradually improve. I was reading 'The Cabinet of Calm' which I like to read in snippets when feeling a bit stressed.

With that word in mind, try to just take a few small positive actions and start from there. Add some fruit & salad veg to your diet, even a tin of peaches makes a difference. Wash some of the clothes you really like so you can wear them soon. Clear one small surface you can see from your sofa/bed so there is something calm you can see.

Your ADHD must make things hard/different/complicated at times, don't beat yourself up.

For the food could you get some cooked meat or salmon, ready made potato salad and salad? This could be two day's meals that you just have to put on a plate.

Try Hello Fresh or Gousto - you may get a free box if it’s your first one. You can pick 2 or more meals and perhaps pick the easy ones. It’ll help get you out of a cooking rut.

That sounds really hard OP. I understand the eating thing. Sometimes I feel I ate what a toddler would choose. Very hard habit to get out of but you are here and asking for help which is a huge step. I reckon you will get great hints and tips and advice. I will be watching the eating advice x

Do you have a job or a daily purpose.

Maybe you could try getting some really easy to make meals. For example you can buy frozen jacket potatoes that you just put in the microwave. Put some baked beans/cheese/tuna on it. Takes 5 mins and is a better meal than chocolate or doughnuts.

Also tinned food is easy. Tinned soup and toast. Tinned chili con carne and microwave packet rice. Tinned ravioli or spaghetti bolognaise.
You could also buy a bulk of frozen ready meals. Just chuck one in the microwave.

I know these aren't the healthiest options in the world but they're very quick and easy, and allow you to eat an actual meal instead of chocolate. Hope that helps a little?

A few of my favourite no cook (microwave only) things to eat are sausage and beans on toast, youngs fish pie ready meal, and those pasta sachets you add a bit of milk and water to, all fairly cheap too.

Is there anything easy like the above you would like? Just simple food but with a bit more nutrition than boxes of cadburys fingers. It would probably help with your energy levels.

Maybe write a list of a couple of things from the supermarket to get tomorrow? Maybe a loaf of bread for toast and some things for 'on toast'.

Question mark

You need to get some decent nutrients in your body to relieve the tiredness, so something like PP suggested with Hello Fresh, and there's some decent enough ready meals, deli salads, fresh soups around these days. You don't need to start making elaborate recipes or meal plans, just try to have more structured meal times and a wider variety of food, even if it has to come from ready meals. Take baby steps, once you start tackling the bad sugar habits and have a bit more strength and hopefully motivation, move onto the cleaning. Like others have said, don't beat yourself up. Things will get better, and know you're not alone.

I found "unfuck your habitat" very useful to get me gradually in better habits. It's a method of taking care of your living space that I think is very friendly to those who struggle with self care. I found it on tumblr but I think it's also on Facebook and is now a book. Also "struggle care" on tiktok is great and I think she also has a book out and us on YouTube.

I've worked in supporting young people with ADHD so only have a tiny bit of knowledge here but my suggestion would be to focus on the food first as that will help you feel better in yourself and more able to tackle the chores.

Get on the BBC food website or whatever and go down the rabbit hole of looking at recipes either by food genre or maybe the budget cooking sections they have, or quick/no cook. You will almost certainly find something that looks interesting and achievable for you. Make a short shopping list, in the order that the things are laid out in your store helps I think too.

Once you've done that and then feel up for cooking you will likely feel a bit more yourself. I'd then challenge myself to get the dishes done while I feel good. And that then gives a sense of getting on top of stuff. Repeat that a couple of times and the better food will undoubtedly make you feel more up to also tackling the laundry, once that's done it's done for a bit. Once your stuff is organised and you're eating a bit better, even if just one meal a day, you might find your sleep is more refreshing too.

Browse food website, find something appealing to make, no matter how random.
Make good shopping list.
Shop.
Rest.
Cook.
Rest.
Dishes.
Rest.

Add in laundry when you can. I don't know about the medication side of things other than I know it can affect appetite so don't beat yourself up if that's an added challenge, it's a chemical thing not a you thing.

With the diet you mentioned and the loss of weight, have you had your sugar levels checked?

Yes something like this. You could get one of those packs of salmon fillets (Tesco's are really quite nice actually), with a bag of salad and some nice crusty bread to go with it. Simple with no effort, but nutritious.