I haven't eaten properly for months & my house is a tip. I hate being me.

[HoppingMarchHares]

I live on my own in a tiny one bedroom flat. I have adhd. I also have depression.
I have absolutely no interest in cooking food. I don't remember the last time I ate a proper meal. I don't eat at proper meal times.
Yesterday I ate 3 donuts, 2 packs of cadbury chocolate fingers and 2 bars of galaxy chocolate. That's it.
Today I've had quaker golden syrup porridge, tesco meal deal wrap and crisps, box of fingers, bar of galaxy chocolate and 3 potato waffles (not together,.obviously). Weirdly tho I've actually lost 1.5 stone since October.

My house is also an absolute pig sty. Haven't done any laundry for a few days but laundry basket is empty because my dirty clothes are all over the floor. Haven't washed dishes for a few days (not that I've used many). But I have no motivation to do it.

I have depression but it's controlled and I don't feel like I'm going through a bad patch.

I am so so so so tired all the time too. I've had a cold this week that hasn't helped but I have been going to bed around 9pm, waking around 1am then 5am for toilet, then up for the day about 8am so really I'm getting enough sleep so why am I so tired.

I don't know how to get out of this rut and to start eating better. I go the supermarket and don't have a clue what to buy other than junk food. I seem to have forgotten how to eat normal. It doesn't help that food is so expensive.

Don't even know what I want from this. Just so tired.

I highly recommend the 'eh might as well' concept for ADHD. Essentially pick one thing, such as picking up a few items of dirty clothes, then once you've done that say to yourself 'eh, might as well pick up another 2' and keep going. It starts a process that really works with my DH to get a job done, even when he's in a depressive phase. One thing leads to another and all of a sudden he has 'eh might as well..' d himself through whatever task his depression was stopping him doing and his ADHD wouldn't gain enough dopamine from. The satisfaction of a completed task normally gives him a small reprive from both. Microwave meals are also a brilliant idea for when you can't be arsed but know you need to eat properly. I hope things look up soon OP.

Go back to your doctor.

Your depression isn't being controlled.

You have had a significant weight loss and are tired all the time. You need to get your thyroid investigated.

Also your blood sugar levels.

Hi OP, I also have ADHD and every couple of weeks I invite my mother over and an hour before she comes i suddenly jump into action and tidy everything just before she arrives, it's literally the only way I can tidy is if I have to and I get that last minute burst when there's a target and I know my mum would be horrified if the house was a tip and the only reason I invite her is to make sure I get it done.

Food wise I never cook mainly because I hate washing up so I make salads mainly and fruit.
I used to like you do, eat packaged rubbish which grew into binge eating so I had to cut all sugar out of my diet which helps massively with brain fog and of course keeping the extra lbs it caused off.

I don't have any other advice but just that I get it and I wish that it would be more widely acceptable to admit how hard these seemingly everyday tasks can be for people like us.

Buy foods that don't need cooking, muesli, lunch/picnic foods such as bread, cheese, cold meat, peanut butter, fruit, yogurt. If you can manage minor cooking then egg on toast, cheese on toast, beans on toast. There's lots in between chocolate and cooking from scratch.

This sounds tough.

Could you get a weeks worth of porridge pots? If you have these easily to hand that you can bung in the microwave each morning, at least you'll start with an energy fuelled breakfast.

I have no experience or expertise, so can't help other than to send positive thoughts.

You should have your sugar levels checked for diabetes. That makes you really tired.

When I can’t be bothered to eat properly, I get some fresh pasta/ravioli and pasta sauce as just a few mins to cook.

I am terrible at procrastinating and wasting time. Also like you in that I can’t be bothered to cook. Tonight for tea I just had chopped up strawberries and banana. Better than a cup of tea and chocolate which I might have had. Can you just buy some healthy stuff that requires no cooking eg what salad foods do you like?

Yes try ready meals, zero effort but more nutrition. May give you more energy to tackle even a tiny job xx

I second everyone's recommendation for ready meals, I started eating the veggie range (even though I'm not) as it would be 2-3 solid portions of veg a day at least.

Also the supermarket soups in the chillers tend to have a few portions of veg in too and easy just to sip on.

Give yourself a break that you've had a cold this week.

I've got these issues.

My advice is to prep when you are feeling well/productive for the times when you can't self care.

Batch cook. Have your freezer full of good meals you have made that can be microwaved.

Keep paper plates/plastic cutlery for emergencies.

Find a laundrette that will pick up/return. Have enough sets of clothes to last a week of not washing.

There's also healthy food that you can keep on tap for simple meals snacks- beans, frozen bread, cheese, tinned fruit, tuna, baking potatoes, nuts, cereal (keep frozen milk).

Remove meal planning entirely by using Hello Fresh or another similar meal service. It will probably save you money and you can eat something simple and ready to eat for breakfast/lunch like fruit, nuts, protein shake, cereal, veg, etc.

Start with the kitchen. You can’t make food in a filthy kitchen, you won’t even want to.

Scrape plates and empty mugs down the sink
Fill sink
Take them off the side one by one and wash them
When they’re done, spray some antibac on a cloth and wipe down the sides

Set a timer on your phone for 10 minutes and say, I will stop when that 10 minutes is up. It’ll be done by the end of the 10 minutes. Put the radio on while you do it.

You need to break things down into smaller tasks. Can you collect all the washing together, sort it into piles, wash it, dry it, put it away. This can done over more than one day. Same with tidying up. Just do one corner of a room, then another etc. there are companies where you can bulk buy ready made meals that don’t need to be stored in a fridge/freezer. Not brilliant nutrition but better than nothing and may get you back on track. Be proud of yourself for every little success.

I don’t know that much about ADHD, but I’m guessing you can’t stay on task for long, so breaking things into smaller tasks could help

And yes food wise I recommend buying ‘deli’ stuff for lunch. You literally just spoon it onto a plate - coleslaw, tomatoes, ham, potato salad that you can buy in tubs. No prep needed whatsoever but feels like a nice meal. Buy sandwich filler in tubs so you can make sandwiches quickly. You can just repeat for dinner unless you’re bothered about hot food.

I would suggest ready meals so at least your eating actual meals. For the house tidying do you have a certain time of day where you have more energy if so I find setting a timer for 15 minutes to do stuff. Its amazing what you can get done in 15 minutes. Also just focus on 1 room at a time the thought of cleaning a whole house is to big of a job. Basically the answer to all your problems is little and often

As lady in the campervan says, you have done the hardest thing, realising a problem exists. I don't have ADHD, I have bipolar. I feel after many years, I can now identify the good days and exploit them. But ignore the bad, this includes severe depression. Start small with something you feel would help you. Try and talk as well. But It's very lonely. Everyone appears to want normal.

I can see someone else has mentioned it, but i'd suggest checking your blood glucose levels with gp. You sound very much like me a few years ago, having to get up in night for the loo, always tired, eating rubbish, lost weight and mojo. Was diabetic. Its hard to motivate yourself when exhausted.

This.

You are eating a lot of sugar, losing weight, peeing through the night and tired. Classic diabetes!

I have ADHD too and it's really hard when you're not motivated. I can sometimes get myself motivated by bingeing on, say, cleaning or organising or cooking tiktoks/YouTube (although it often involves ordering a pile of unnecessary shite off Amazon while I'm all enthused!), not sure if that is something that could help you?

Lots of kind responses

I'd imagine that the well meaning questions and ideas could be overwhelming to read.

Op I hope the solidarity here helps and somehow one or two of the many helpful ideas can help you when you are able to read them.
@HoppingMarchHares

Knew this would be ADHD!

Forget any advice not from an ADHD perspective.

For me, the main thing that works is making things into mini tasks... I can't do the laundry, but I can pick up 5 items.

I can't wash all the dishes, I'll wash 5 things.

I can't tidy up, but I'll put 5 things away.

You see a pattern! Works for me. Find something that works for you.

And buy a few ready meals. Just get yourself in the habit of meals. Healthy eating can come later.

It’s going to be difficult to go from your current situation to cooking full, healthy meals from recipes. First of all I would start off by getting a good multivitamin and a high dose vitamin D supplement.
Then maybe shop for some ready meals you might like that you can just stick in the oven but at least you’ve had a meal rather than just snacking. A week of vitamins and eating proper meals at mealtimes and you’ll start to feel better physically, less fatigued and more able to cope with other aspects, tidying up etc. it’s a vicious circle I know, sending love to you x

I have learned always to have easy, halfway healthy, difficult to waste, food in. It doesn't have to add up to traditional meals. You don't need a huge variety.

Mine would be a few of:

Microwave rice
Nuts of some sort
Olives
Eggs
Tinned fish
Crackers that I like enough to eat plain
Tinned potatoes
Tinned mushrooms
Tinned green veg
Marmite
Apples or pears
Popcorn kernels
Actimel yoghurt drinks
Tinned soup

They're foods I like. They're low prep. They don't go off. They don't create mess or work. I can forget about most of them for months and it's fine. On good days I can add more. On bad days they're there and less effort than buying new junk food.

You'd think people who find cooking and organising etc easy would be happier, but there's no sign it makes them happy. Don't think the state of your flat reflects your value. Start slipping yourself some better food and you'll feel a bit better

Oh and a multivitamin

And if you fancy something fresh, you can do worse than a well chosen Tesco meal deal - go for San Pellegrino, a good sandwich / salad and a treat :)