I haven't eaten properly for months & my house is a tip. I hate being me.

[HoppingMarchHares]

I live on my own in a tiny one bedroom flat. I have adhd. I also have depression.
I have absolutely no interest in cooking food. I don't remember the last time I ate a proper meal. I don't eat at proper meal times.
Yesterday I ate 3 donuts, 2 packs of cadbury chocolate fingers and 2 bars of galaxy chocolate. That's it.
Today I've had quaker golden syrup porridge, tesco meal deal wrap and crisps, box of fingers, bar of galaxy chocolate and 3 potato waffles (not together,.obviously). Weirdly tho I've actually lost 1.5 stone since October.

My house is also an absolute pig sty. Haven't done any laundry for a few days but laundry basket is empty because my dirty clothes are all over the floor. Haven't washed dishes for a few days (not that I've used many). But I have no motivation to do it.

I have depression but it's controlled and I don't feel like I'm going through a bad patch.

I am so so so so tired all the time too. I've had a cold this week that hasn't helped but I have been going to bed around 9pm, waking around 1am then 5am for toilet, then up for the day about 8am so really I'm getting enough sleep so why am I so tired.

I don't know how to get out of this rut and to start eating better. I go the supermarket and don't have a clue what to buy other than junk food. I seem to have forgotten how to eat normal. It doesn't help that food is so expensive.

Don't even know what I want from this. Just so tired.

Washing machine is on woop!
About to wash dishes and then going to the supermarket

Here are my suggestions for the week:

Cereal (bowl/bar) and a piece of fruit for breakfast.
A meal deal everyday for lunch.
Ready/freezer meal and frozen veg for dinner.

For today:
Work out what you actually wear. Pick up all the dirty laundry on the floor, wash and dry. You don't necessarily have to fold away, yet.
Bath/shower and wash hair before bed.

Your diet will be contributing to poor sleep quality, as will late night screen time. Look at ways to identify and manage anxiety, as it sounds problematic.

Not saying my post will help, just hoping it will as these are tips that sometimes help me. RTFT to get some advice for myself.

I work fully remotely (have for a year so far) and coped better going into the office daily. Not an option now since my job is in another country.

Left to my own devices I do work in the middle of the night or at weekends. Usually at the very last minute before a deadline in a binge.

I use MyFitnessPal to track food and that seems to help.

I'm very, very messy but no-one sees it. I did show a photo to two psychiatrists.

I have a professional job and people would be shocked if they knew what my symptoms are like in private.

Bloody brilliant 👏

I could have written this. I'm pretty sure I'm ND too but hadn't really made the connection that this could be linked.

I feel like I could easily write you a 10 point action plan to get organised, tackle your diet, solve all your problems, but when it comes to making positive choices for myself I am frozen. It's literally like I don't know what to do. My brain just won't compute. Like I don't know how to physically go to the shop, buy healthy food, cook it and eat it. Or put my things away. Or do my "life admin". I may as well be trying to fly to the moon. It's the weirdest thing. I start every week with the best intentions and I fail every time.

I definitely relate to PP's "panic tidying". The only time I ever lived in a tidy home (at least half of the week) was pre-kids when we had enough money for a cleaner and I used to panic tidy before she came every week.

This is exactly it!
The panic tidying too!

Hi @HoppingMarchHares

Do you drink alcohol?

Putting all the dirty washing in one place can make all the difference

Baby steps

@Saturday82 I’m exactly the same as you. I love WFH because I don’t have to mask all day in an office but I get so easily distracted that my 7.5 hour work day takes me 10/11 hours so actually my work life balance is worse now.

Sounds very tough OP, I hope things get better for you soon. I also have ADHD, keep burning out, and recently read How to Keep House while Drowning (Amazon), nearly a year after I bought it 😳, as recommended by someone on here. It’s got some great advice about how to get things functioning again at home. The author was diagnosed with ADHD as adult and works in mental health so it’s very much geared towards people who struggle with this stuff.

Ah OP I have ADD and relate to a degree. I'm pretty good with a weekly clean but whenever I have time off work without concrete plans with others I end up doing fuck all.

Can you afford a one off 2hr clean? It will be around £25? I'd prioritise that, you won't want to eat healthy/do anything whilst having the mental clutter of your untidy home in your brain.

I go through stages of cooking healthy. I have dc that I have to shop for and cook for but god knows what I will be like when they're gone.

For me to be okay I have to be in a routine that others are involved in to function. I can't WFH regularly as I'll start logging in late as I won't have showered till 10, then it will go to logging in on time but still in bed and staying there till 5!

Music definitely helps.

I do feel for you. I'm very similar. A history of depression and other mental health problems, together with suspected ADHD and possibly ASD. My flat is a tip, I have zero motivation and my eating has become increasingly unhealthy and chaotic recently, something which I thought I'd left behind years ago.

I don't have anything to add really to what others have said. I expect your fatigue is mainly down to fluctuating sugar levels. The initial "high" you get from such foods doesn't last, leaving you exhausted the following day, which in turn leads you to eat more of the same in a desperate effort to get energy from somewhere.

Well done for making a start on some tasks this morning. Small steps is the way to go. All the best to you.

My biggest tip is to download one of the supermarket apps. I use Tesco as it's my nearest but I am sure they all do similar.
Write a shopping list first.
I use click and collect as it suits me best. Someone else picks all your shopping and you just bob along and collect it. You do need to take bags. It's ideal for me as removes all temptation around unnecessary items or special offers I don't need etc.
The first time you do it is a pain, as you search for "bread" and then choose which one etc.
However, once you have done it once and checked out, it remembers what you bought last time and builds up a bank of "favourites" that it shows and you just click yes or scroll past. I can
do a weekly shop for 6 in about 15 mins now, and I save money as I am never "hungry shopping" or anything.

Best of luck.

I have similar problems. One thing I've found that helps is a good podcast. I know some have suggested music, but I find music can alter my mood a bit too much. The wrong lyric or tone of a song can just throw me off. I also have a highly active imagination/I'm a fucker for daydreaming, and music often makes this worse as it's like a soundtrack for my inner world and fantasies. Music can inadvertently become distracting rather focusing.... Not to me mention, I am liable to end up getting far more jigging/dancing done than actual dishes! Plus then I get distracted by trying to make playlists on Spotify. Radio is better because no playlists, but I don't want to listen to music I have no interest in.

So, podcasts. No faffing around trying to find the right playlist or song, skipping songs, daydreaming, dancing, changing emotions... Just listening and enjoying. The reason this works for me is that if I sit down/lie down while listening to a podcast or an audiobook, I will just fall asleep, they aren't "active" enough activities to keep me awake. Therefore, the only time I actually can listen to them, without falling asleep, is when I'm doing something else - cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning are all perfect for this. Do I sometimes get distracted by the chore and forget what was just said in the podcast? Yes, so a quick rewind may be necessary sometimes, but it's not too bad. It makes the chores not feel like chores to me - it's "podcast time".

I don't know your particular interests for this type of thing of course, but my current podcast is Pottervision. Two comedians read a chapter of the books each week and then come on for a 1.30 hourish podcast to discuss it. It doesn't sound like much, but I find it hilarious. Most of the time, there ends up being less time spent on the Harry Potter chapter, and more time talking about what they've been up to and their lives and anecdotes. I don't know, it just tickles my sense of humour very well. Obviously 1.30 hour per chapter means I have HOURS AND HOURS of content as they do all the books. 1.30 hours may be too long for my chores, so I'll listen until I'm ready to stop and come back the next time. They also do "DoubleVision" where they do special episodes that aren't HP related - James Bond, Mr Bean etc.

Just a suggestion.

When I am in this situation, I know it won't get better unless I eat properly, so to kick-start myself, I get in some healthy ready meals, that I can just stick in the oven or microwave. I know they are not a long term solution, nutitionally and cost wise, but if I feel I have had one balanced meal a day, things improve.

I deliberately have a cleaner and at least 60% of the reason I have her, is for the panic tidying benefit.

I tend to think about things in terms of activation energy - i.e. what's the hump I have to get over to do an activity. Anything I can do to reduce the activation energy tends to help. So for me I know I'm fairly likely to cook if I have the ingredients in and a meal plan. So I have an Asda account with a set of 5 shopping lists which I select one of and enough food for a week's meals turn up. Equally if you still aren't very likely to cook, you're better off accepting that and buying some decent ready meals as a starting point (for example) as buying the food still won't have lowered the activation energy enough that you'll cook.

Oh, I forgot about the food.

I have been trying to eat better lately as I also feel very sluggish all the time.

Something that is cookable on a hob but also easy and quick:

• Tin of black beans, heated on hob
• Chopped onion and garlic (can use frozen diced onion and garlic granules if needed)
• Some kind of salad leaves, like baby spinach, rocket, kale
• Tinned sweetcorn
• Tinned fish such as tuna (I used mackerel in this the other day and it was fine)

So, heat some oil in the pan and add your garlic and onion, then add the heated black beans, the tinned sweetcorn, the salad leaves, and the tinned fish (can use some cooker chicken maybe on a good day, or buy pre-cooked chicken!). Just let it all heat together and then voila.

Sprinkle some cheese on top!

I find it's something you can make easier or harder depending on your preferences. So you can use all tinned beans and tinned/frozen veg and salad leaves, tinned fish or pre-cooked meats... Or you can use fresh fish and fresh meat as you feel you have more energy... Can cook some rice and add that or slice up some thin potatoes and cook them to add in... Just depends how much energy you have on a day.

The tinned beans/sweetcorn, salad leaves, frozen onion, garlic granules, salt/pepper to taste, tinned fish/pre-cooked meat, bell pepper (forgot I added that) version anyway only takes 10 mins to get ready and then eat! Sometimes I do it with no meat at all, just lots of BEANS and sweetcorn/peas haha.

Can put it in a tortilla wrap if you like. Or just on a plate!

I know everyone is trying to be helpful but honestly, the 'easy peasy' meal suggestions are blowing my mind. If you're feeling overwhelmed and frozen to the extent that you're living off packs of chocolate then you're unlikely to be able to whip up these meals 🙄

I would go an do a few days shopping op and keep it super simple.

A ready meal for each evening meal.
Pots of just add water porridge for breakfast.
A pack of tortilla wraps, a pack of ham and a bag of salad leaves for lunches.
A bowl of fruit and some yogurts as snacks.

Just try and get into the habit of eating real food, several times a day, with no effort needed. You can level up from ready meals when you're ready but that doesn't have to be now.

You don't have to cook if you don't want to and you don't have to eat hot meals, but you should aim for a more balanced diet. Bagged salad leaves are expensive but save a lot of faffing. Fruit only needs a quick wash and bananas are the ultimate convenience food.

The unexplained weight loss needs to be investigated. You might have diabetes or be heading towards it.

Well done for getting stuff done.

I genuinely think there’s nothing wrong with relying on panic tidying. Do what works. If you need the impending arrival of a friend for lunch to force you to get the place presentable, and an acceptable meal in, then invite more people round.

Or if getting a cleaner will precipitate regular panic tidying (and you can afford the cleaner!), do that.

Do not, under any circumstances, judge yourself for needing the external pressure to make it happen. It doesn’t matter if you end up with a hygienic and presentable house through some internal desire to clean things, nice, regular habits, or last minute panic; the end result is still a clean enough house.

Buying some sort of meal plan thing can help too. Not one of those boxes that requires chopping stuff. But something where the food is delivered to you requiring quick and easy reheating.

Even bloody huel is that sounds vaguely acceptable might be a good way to just increase your nutrient intake with little effort.

This crap costs money though. The bloody adhd tax. 🤦🏻‍♀️

i Have adhd and often feel overwhelmed by life. My house is also massively clustered, I find de- cluttering very stressful. I also want to live in a clutter free house.
however I also I can live like this.
I go for the one thing at a time approach. This weekends was dealing with the box in the hall. Next week will be dealing with the bookcase. Try and break things down to small manageable tasks. Yours could be laundry always goes in the basket and always gets washed on a Wednesday for example.
I also find food is based around habits. Get yourself into a routine so you don’t have to think about food. Ie breakfast everyday is toast followed by an apple. Lunch is a sandwich, dinner is a healthy ready meal. But all the ingredients. Build the routine.

I am just like you, and would love off crisps if I didn't have kids. I keep a tidy house purely through bursts of manic energy.

Food wise perhaps get a bag of salad, a rotisserie chicken and some other cold meats and some salad dressing to start. My beloved late MiL brought that after each of my children and it was a godsend. Some tins of nice soup with bread. A big pot of vitamins.

I'm far too guilty of trying to change too much at once and then feeling shit about myself cause I fail, then spiralling worse. So I'm trying to tell myself to pick one or two small things at a time, get those habits embedded then introduce something else.

So for you I would put a load of washing on, then go and buy some food. Even if you don't eat the healthy stuff yet, you have it for tomorrow. Then hang the washing when it's done. Then that's it for today.

Honestly well done ,, starting is often the hardest part-

My ds has adhd - i try and get him moving after he has got up and had a bit of telly time. I am a get up and get on sort of person he isn't so we do clash but i find lists help .. Don’t write every job under the sun on you will be overwhelmed and do nothing.. with my son though i do put really small things on list so he can achieve something easily. Cross out or tick ..its satisfying but only after you have done it. My ds will tick he is going to do it then forget.

Hope supermarket went well. Pick healthier things that are simple to eat my ds thinks eating an apple take more effort than a banana and is therefore likely to eat one'

I’m in a Facebook group for the organised mum method and a few people on there with ADHD have said that the guided clean podcasts on Patreon are useful. You basically stick your headphones in and the lady talks you through 30 mins of cleaning i.e for the next 2 minutes I want you to wipe your worktops etc. There’s a huge list of cleans to choose from and am sure there’s one when for when you feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. I think it’s something like 3.99 per month but there are free ones on there you can try before paying anything.
This might not be useful for you OP but posting in case it helps anyone reading the thread.