I haven't eaten properly for months & my house is a tip. I hate being me.

[HoppingMarchHares]

I live on my own in a tiny one bedroom flat. I have adhd. I also have depression.
I have absolutely no interest in cooking food. I don't remember the last time I ate a proper meal. I don't eat at proper meal times.
Yesterday I ate 3 donuts, 2 packs of cadbury chocolate fingers and 2 bars of galaxy chocolate. That's it.
Today I've had quaker golden syrup porridge, tesco meal deal wrap and crisps, box of fingers, bar of galaxy chocolate and 3 potato waffles (not together,.obviously). Weirdly tho I've actually lost 1.5 stone since October.

My house is also an absolute pig sty. Haven't done any laundry for a few days but laundry basket is empty because my dirty clothes are all over the floor. Haven't washed dishes for a few days (not that I've used many). But I have no motivation to do it.

I have depression but it's controlled and I don't feel like I'm going through a bad patch.

I am so so so so tired all the time too. I've had a cold this week that hasn't helped but I have been going to bed around 9pm, waking around 1am then 5am for toilet, then up for the day about 8am so really I'm getting enough sleep so why am I so tired.

I don't know how to get out of this rut and to start eating better. I go the supermarket and don't have a clue what to buy other than junk food. I seem to have forgotten how to eat normal. It doesn't help that food is so expensive.

Don't even know what I want from this. Just so tired.

I'm diagnosed adhd. Lol at the idea that Gusto meals might help

Gusto or equivalent means

1. Opening a box
2. Putting stuff in the fridge
3. Remembering what you have
4. Dumping the packaging
5. Opening small packets, chopping, storing, waiting ...
6. Dirty pans and plates
7. Looking at the delivery box in your living space for weeks on end

My survival "healthy" rations are:
Cold baked beans straight from the tin
Spoon of nut butter eaten with a banana standing up
Dates sometimes with nut butter eaten standing up
Pot noodles with a ton of sweet corn dumped, uncooked, into the hot pot noodle
Baby bels or other prepared units of cheese
A huge pan of veg and protein that I eat from every night, usually cold
hard boil six eggs and eat those as snacks over several days
Greek yoghurt straight from the big tub

I eat a lot of frozen veg (vegan), with frozen sausages or mince - both can be microwaved. Also toast, sandwiches, soup and cereal.

I also use meal replacement shakes.

I definitely said not gousto type meals that require you to chop shit and get out a pestle and mortar. That’s clearly a terrible idea.

I suggested something in the realms of shelf stable, just add water but still delivers nutrients meal plans. Shelf stable (or cook from frozen) is important because having to ensure you eat things by a certain date is an issue.

Huel seem to offer options that can be reconstituted to drink like or mush like consistency. But provide a balanced meal of nutrients. It sounds joyless to me but I’d imagine it keeps in the cupboard for a reasonable time.

or one of those rotating menu of ready meals that can be microwaved services.

But definitely not a gousto box. There will probably be shallots and garlic and fiddly stuff requiring peeling and chopping finely in there.

I'm working on my eating and it's a slow and difficult process. I've changed 2 things so far. I have the same porridge as you, mid morning and I chop a banana into it. I still don't have lunch, but don't feel the need for it.

With food, we want instant gratification. When hunger hits, you want food and you want it now. Sugar gives that instant dopamine hit which doesn't last, so you continue with sugary crap to try and keep your levels up.

I'm deliberately buying less crap. Instead of that full tub of B&J, I buy cornettos and allow myself one in the evening. M&S ready meals are a lifeline as they're decent and 3 for £8.

For housework, see my photo. Every job is broken down into chunks that take between 2 and 10 minutes so nothing is too overwhelming.

Have a lined bin in every room so rubbish doesn't pile up and then you only have to pick up the bag when it's full.

Functioning is bloody hard work! If you're not medicated, it's definitely worth looking into. Meds killed my horrendous lifelong anxiety. Things aren't and never will be perfect, but they're a damn sight better than they were.

That sounds totally sensible, frankly.

The aim is to consume sufficient nutrition - how matters little.

if I weren’t feeding the kids, I’m pretty sure I’d eat the same low effort thing every day.

That sounds hard - can you afford a cleaner?

Meal prep - I just discovered Ocado & as yet haven't paid any delivery costs. I would suggest following meals as they are low prep & I don't know why people are suggesting batch cooking:-

• beans or scrambled egg on toast
• toasties
• soup
• pre made salads
• ready meals
• jacket potato
• pizza

Are you able to cut working hours? You just sound a bit overwhelmed & tired.

Just saw you have put a wash on so that's great 🙌🏻

Im the same with eating. I just can't face thinking about food and cooking and it's just me so not reason to make meals.

I usually just eat a few bits of chocolate throughout the day, maybe a few slices of ham and that's it.

I am very under nourished I am sure and deficient in all sorts of vitamins but have no motivation to improve. It's hard when you are alone because you've no one to be accountable to.

Basic ready meals are better than nothing. If you can rustle up the enthusiasm to cook a bit of broccoli to accompany them then even better.
If you can afford it get some M&S salads.
I often have long periods when I can’t even get it together to make toast for myself, and my only nutrition comes from instant food from a packet. M&S Super Nutty Wholefood Salad is my lifeline. I buy a few and eat them past the sell by date. It stops my from living entirely on biscuits. You need some nutrients.

With M&S, I regularly go yellow sticker hunting so end up with really tasty food that's incredibly easy without spending a fortune. Otherwise, I live on quorn deli sandwiches and spicy flavour wotsits, plus chocolate and ice cream.

Two loads of washing done and hanging to dry.
I've been to supermarket and bought oranges, bananas, salad leaves, apples, raspberries, grapes, frozen peas and frozen broccoli. Plus sausages and mince meat (I've got dolmio spah bol sauce already). Tonight will be sausages and veg with potato waffles. Tomorrow will be spag bol.

That's brilliant, op. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

This is so amazing to read. Enjoy your sausage tea this evening!

Hi @HoppingMarchHares I also have adhd and have been in a similar place so often. Somehow managing basic cooking for my kids but everything else feels like it's total overwhelm and panic. I find it spirals, so the more overwhelmed I am, the more low I feel, the less I do, the worse I feel, and then I feel like more of a failure and it just goes further downhill. Often it is triggered by having the time to do things, so when I inevitably don't do any of the things I want to do because I get distracted or have zero motivation, I start to

Right now I'm trying to add in nutrition to my rubbish diet but making it as simple as possible. Making it so the path of least resistance is something with a bit more nutrition than biscuits, pot noodles and cheese. The other thing is getting started, once I start, the success of doing something gives me the hit I need to do a bit more. To start I usually say just one, so whatever task I do I say ill just do that and that (sometimes) gets me moving.

It's so hard, isn't it? Sending hugs

What a brilliant day you have had so far, well done ❤️

Can you cook and is it just that you don't know what to cook?

If so, I'd suggest getting Hello Fresh for 2 people so that you can eat each meal one day and the next day. Either cook it on the first day and microwave it on the second day, or cook it twice depending on what meal it is.

You just click on the meal you want and they send you the stuff you need. No thinking, no shopping, just doing what they say.

If you get the smallest plan (I think 2 meals per week for 2 people), that will give you 4 meals for yourself.

Regarding the cleaning/clearing up, can you think of a time of day where you could set a timer for 30 mins and spend that 30 mins cleaning up. Maybe 6-6:30 every day in the evening if that suits you?

With the laundry, I'd put it all in one place, sort into loads and then make a queue of the loads by the washing machine. As soon as one cycle is finished, get the next one in.

In any case, don't beat yourself up about it.

A huge Well done OP
You've made a great change today
I live alone and have a Neuro disability which has executive function problems as a symptom
I try to do something while waiting for the kettle to boil even if it's a wipe of the worktops
I live on rolls with peanut butter or Philadelphia, fruit yogurt and Granola and I only need to eat once daily as I'm not hungry I allow myself half a bar of Lindt chocolate as a reward for getting through the day
I never know where to start or where to put things away so I empathise totally
You have moved mountains today

Wow! That’s a fantastic start, and I really admire the food choices you’ve made there - lots of fruit that needs no prep, and easy meals that will give you veg and protein too. Fantastic start today. Hopefully in a day or two you’ll feel a little better for getting some decent food inside you, I know I do when I go through a junk food phase.

Don’t push yourself too hard and be hugely proud of what you’ve done today. Focus this week on getting used to some healthier food and getting your washing sorted. Maybe next weekend if it has gone well, you can think of one little thing to add in?

Sorry you are feeling this way.
I struggle with keeping on top of things and I don't have ADHD.
Do some simple meals - jacket potato in the microwave with tuna, beans or cheese and a salad.
Tackle one room at a time with the cleaning, or even just a small area if a whole room feels overwhelming. I have done my bathroom just now for the first time in months but could only cope with the sink and toilet due to a bad back and exhaustion but felt better for tackling it. I will tackle the bath and floor another day. Myself and dh are finding we are spending our whole weekends making meals and doing house stuff and never getting any time to ourselves so this weekend has just been about simple meals. Weekday meals are also quick too - stir fry's, quick pasta bake, jacket potatoes.
I hope you feel better soon op and like others have said see your GP and get bloods checked.

Well done! Just try and avoid that adhd thing where you feel great having got one thing done, then get the "I NEED TO DO ALL OF THE THINGS RIGHT NOW" then crash. Keep it at a sustainable pace. Today's a fantastic start.

Great update OP! You've made my day hearing this! I hope you enjoy your tea. It sounds lovely and getting not just one but two loads on is really fab! I'm really impressed that you've done so much already and hope you are feeling proud of yourself. So easy to focus on the negatives rather than the accomplishments but these are already great changes which can snowball into a much better place for you.

ADHDer here too and sending solidarity.

Soup is filling and nourishing plus can be bought pre-prepared. Throw in a good multivitamin. Figure out the thing you need to do the most and set a 5 minute timer. Is it clear your bed? Stick everything in a bin liner for now. Gather one armful of clothes and stick in the wash. Create some space. Five minutes then give yourself permission to walk away but 50% of the time you'll keep going. Getting started is the hardest part.

I’m so happy for you that you did the washing and went supermarket! Well done.

reading what you have written I also feel I might have the sane thing. Everything is a struggle. I have 2 kids so manage to cook them basic dinners everyday but for my and DH it’s often nothing. He eats out but rarely even asks what I’ve eaten. I feel so hopeless and I will be reading advice others have given for tips. I’ve moved into new home and even putting the rubbish out is a nightmare as it’s all different to what I’m used to, so many different bins and bags. DH keeps telling me to look at the website rather than just simply explain what goes into each bag. I’m educated but feel like everything is so difficult!

*so for context when I write “I’m educated” what I mean is I can easily read the council website and see what goes into each bin but for some reason I can’t! I think I’ve always had an element of ADHD but I have hidden it very well. But now I’m exhausted with 2 kids, a house move, new job so I can’t hide it as well and the struggle is showing.