I haven't eaten properly for months & my house is a tip. I hate being me.

[HoppingMarchHares]

I live on my own in a tiny one bedroom flat. I have adhd. I also have depression.
I have absolutely no interest in cooking food. I don't remember the last time I ate a proper meal. I don't eat at proper meal times.
Yesterday I ate 3 donuts, 2 packs of cadbury chocolate fingers and 2 bars of galaxy chocolate. That's it.
Today I've had quaker golden syrup porridge, tesco meal deal wrap and crisps, box of fingers, bar of galaxy chocolate and 3 potato waffles (not together,.obviously). Weirdly tho I've actually lost 1.5 stone since October.

My house is also an absolute pig sty. Haven't done any laundry for a few days but laundry basket is empty because my dirty clothes are all over the floor. Haven't washed dishes for a few days (not that I've used many). But I have no motivation to do it.

I have depression but it's controlled and I don't feel like I'm going through a bad patch.

I am so so so so tired all the time too. I've had a cold this week that hasn't helped but I have been going to bed around 9pm, waking around 1am then 5am for toilet, then up for the day about 8am so really I'm getting enough sleep so why am I so tired.

I don't know how to get out of this rut and to start eating better. I go the supermarket and don't have a clue what to buy other than junk food. I seem to have forgotten how to eat normal. It doesn't help that food is so expensive.

Don't even know what I want from this. Just so tired.

How you getting on OP?

Posting this thread has been a game changer for me.

On Monday my mum and I went for a Toby Carvery. So lots of meat and veg.

Tuesday I made spaghetti bolognese. I had 1/4, froze 2 portions and had 1/4 for my lunch yesterday.
I worked yesterday so took a microwave pizza and some salad leaves. Also had 2 small oranges, banana and grapes. My colleagues wondered where the old me had gone!

I've been adding raspberries and banana to my breakfast porridge.

It's so weird, I actually don't want to eat chocolate or cake or biscuits.
There were some cupcakes at work yesterday and I didn't crave one at all.

Just found your thread and want to say well done OP, youre amazing! 👏

And it was so nice to see so many lovely, supportive and empathic (and useful!) posts- I and I expect many others got lots of lovely small tips for when life gets on top of us, even if we're not in your situation.

Ugh sorry about mega gap- something wrong with my phone!

That’s great OP! Keep posting. I was similar in my early 20s, it takes time to develop routines, learn ‘quick wins’ and basically how to keep your home and health manageable. Plus you can look back over your posts and see how far you’ve come.

Thank you ❤️

My house is .. ok. I'm trying to wash my dishes every day and laundry goes in the laundry basket!

Well done OP. You’re an inspiration

A huge well done from me
You're instilling new habits and this will help you keep going

That's a fantastic update to hear op, well done you!!
As a fellow adhd-er, I'm not trying to put you on a downer at all, but don't forget the excitement of doing well may start to wane in a couple/few weeks (you may know roughly how long you've got 😁) - try and do some extra batch cooking while you're in the "new and exciting" phase to get you through a while longer when the enthusiasm drops, and maybe now's the time to try and arrange for some friends/family to come over on a weekly basis to motivate you with the tidiness levels over the next few months.
But you're off to a really great start, keep reading this thread to keep your motivation levels up, best of luck to you.

Ok is all it needs to be.

Sparkling like a social media cleaning influencer’s house is never the aim. For the rest of us, OK is great.

I find that it’s difficult to sustain habits. They simply don’t become habitual like you’d expect. Missing a day just returns things to my chaotic default. It’s easy to feel frustrated and demoralised.

but it’s ok if habits are less habitual and more runs of getting things done. I’ve learned not to be annoyed with myself if my enduring the kitchen is cleaned every night aspirations slip. I just start again. Every day is a new one and it doesn’t matter if it was a disgrace over the weekend because it’s good enough now.

This is really positive steps OP!

I went through a phase like this - had no energy, majorly depressed. Eventually I got a food delivery of ready meals -

Activia yogurts
Berries
Soups (the chilled ones)
Microwave rice (half a packet heated up in the soup)
Pre-cooked chicken
Frozen veg that could be zapped in individual portions
Nuts
Some of the salad bowls that I mixed together on a plate and lasted about 2-3 days.
Tinned bean based chillis
Baked beans generally!

Also keep an eye on your hydration - maybe pick up some smoothies too for some vitamins in the morning.

You are doing great to be pushing through this. So many people feel the same way but don't reach out. I'm sure your thread has helped many others too xxx

Also - and I don't know if this is possible, but calling a friend and just explaining you need a bit of help tidying can be a good thing - I have a friend who struggles too, sometimes we video chat whilst trying to get ourselves out of bed and to do chores as we motivate each other to just get a few things done.

"Get out of bed and put the kettle on and then you can get a cup of tea and get back into bed."

"Brush your teeth now."

"Just do that one surface and I'll do one too."

Basically that's the chat, but it helps. It's ok to struggle and it's ok to ask for support. X

Look up body doubling