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Original poster

If you are in the shoes off brigade

360 replies

Halfastoneextra · 27/02/2023 09:29

If you invite someone to your house, say as an evening guest , here is the scenario:

The guest has made an effort to dress up for the evening, say a nice dress, updo, jewellery etc. She turns up at your house where you ask all guests to take their shoes off. This guest turns to a carrier bag she has on her, and withdraws a pair of very nice shoes that she wishes to wear with her dress. They are not stilettos, so won't damage any wooden floors. She shows you the soles and explains they are specially clean ie have not been worn outside and have been wiped down to make sure they are spotless. She says she wishes to wear them as they are part of her outfit and she does not wish to be discomforted by having to go barefoot.

Would you acquiesce. If not, why not?

OP posts:
SkankingWombat · 27/02/2023 09:35

Of course that would be fine! They easily come under the banner of 'house shoes'.

TickledCrimson · 27/02/2023 09:37

Is this a reverse?

Cupcakequeen75 · 27/02/2023 09:39

We are definitely a "shoes-off" house but that would be fine.
As PP said, they would be classed as "house-shoes".

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TeamadIshbel · 27/02/2023 09:44

That would be fine with me.
What I can't tolerate is outdoor shoes, which will have touched all sorts of bacteria and fox, dog, cat excrement & urine. The thought of the particles floating round my house, being trailed into bedrooms makes me really anxious. So, get your shoes off!!

FoxFeatures · 27/02/2023 09:46

Total nonsense. I would never ask anyone to take off shoes in my house. I wash the floors daily because of my dog and her love of digging up the garden and walking in with half the lawn in her paws. No carpet in this house, horrid stuff.

We have guests weekly at least and shoes stay on (as do mine when we are hosting ) - though when im at home alone I wear slipper boots, im not a maniac.

Findyourneutralspace · 27/02/2023 09:46

If they are indoor shoes that won’t damage the floor I’d have no problem

Passerillage · 27/02/2023 09:50

Yes, that’s fine. I’ve had guests step out of a taxi in shoes that are clearly not designed to be worn outside and it would be demented of me to ask them to remove.

I have a box of inexpensive slippers in the hall now for guests too.

Our house opens directly onto the street. The shoes off thing is more about vainly trying to stay faintly clean rather than fanatical hygiene. V jealous of my parents’ apartment with their effortlessly clean floors.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 27/02/2023 09:53

I think it is rude to expect guests to be bare foot when the host is wearing slippers. Perfectly acceptable to bring house shoes into a no shoes house.

DelurkingAJ · 27/02/2023 09:55

I wouldn’t have a problem at all. To be honest I don’t mind outside shoes except that we have a gravel drive and the gravel that inevitably comes in on the trees of trainers etc does scratch the floor….

Peckhaminn · 27/02/2023 09:57

Absolutely fine to wear slippers! We have tiled flooring so gets pretty chilly on the feet

Caviarandgelatine · 27/02/2023 10:01

Well, I'd let her, but privately I'd feel a bit irritated because it's unlikely she's never worn them outside. Her lengthy explanation of how they're clean shows she knew it was a shoes off house and that was important to the owner, so for her to think that her outfit trumps that is pretty self centred.

Topseyt123 · 27/02/2023 10:02

I don't see why anyone would have a problem with that. If you do then why?

Personally I don't expect anyone to remove their shoes on entering my house. Unless said shoes were caked in mud of course.

Camilliatile · 27/02/2023 10:05

Well, I'd think the guest was bonkers but would be fine with those shoes in the houes.

mindutopia · 27/02/2023 10:07

It would be a bit weird to show up at my house dressed up with matching shoes, tbh. That would freak me out even more than wearing shoes in the house. I have no issues with people wearing 'house shoes' or slippers inside and lots of our friends do bring their slippers when they come to stay. MIL has special indoor only crocs she wears!

I just don't want everyone dragging in the mud and horse shit from outside in. When we do have guests, they often walk in the house first before removing shoes and it stresses me out so much. The kitchen ends up covered in muddy shoe prints after I've already made an effort to tidy up and make things look nice for guests. We live on a farm so can't avoid their being mud.

WandaWonder · 27/02/2023 10:09

I have never known anyone to dress up to go to someone's house so for me if this person wanted to be thr only one dressed up sure fine whatever

Odd but if it works for them fine, if they want to wear slippers to go with their outfit ok

CallieQ · 27/02/2023 10:10

Personally I don't expect anyone to remove their shoes on entering my house. Unless said shoes were caked in mud of course.

Agree with this
I have a problem with my foot which means I can't walk barefoot or in slippers so tend to keep my shoes on

Natsku · 27/02/2023 10:12

That would be fine, we have indoor shoes we sometimes wear (I have clogs that I wear when I'm doing the housework - don't want damp socks when mopping!) and OH has trainers he wears when working out, what matters is that they are clean and not worn outside, not that they are shoes or not.

Not that anyone ever comes to my house in an outfit that requires shoes, I don't have that sort of guest/those sorts of parties. Its a shoes off country so I guess people are used to it and adjust their choice of outfit accordingly if they're going to someone's house rather than to a fancy restaurant or to a ball or something like that.

IglesiasPiggl · 27/02/2023 10:15

Well we are generally a shoes off house, as are all our friends but I don't consider ourselves to be a "brigade". There is clearly some disdain on your part going on there, OP. Both I and everyone I know operate shoes off as a general habit, not some kind of rigid marshal law. For evening do's most people have shoes that go with an outfit and nobody I know would expect people to remove them.

Maireas · 27/02/2023 10:19

My friends' comfort is more important than my floors, which should be designed to resist a bit of dirt anyway.
I always think that flooring is there for you, you're not there for the flooring.

Grumpafrump · 27/02/2023 10:20

We are shoes off house, but I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes. Most see ours on the rack by the door and see that I’m barefoot and automatically remove theirs. If they don’t, I don’t say anything as their comfort in my home is more important than my floors.

haveyoutriedturningitoffandthenonagain · 27/02/2023 10:21

If she's gone to all that effort then yes, she's obviously very attached to them and has made sure they're clean.

I'd be fine about that.

Mitfordian · 27/02/2023 10:22

We wear slippers inside but I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes - its the height of rudeness. Even more so if you're hosting a dinner party/party where people have dressed up - you can't seriously expect them all to walk around in socks/barefoot.

fugly1 · 27/02/2023 10:23

We are a shoes off house but this would be absolutely fine!!

MissDollyMix · 27/02/2023 10:26

We're a shoes off house but I'd never make a guest feel uncomfortable by insisting they took their shoes off. My mum is the worst. Always tramps in in her muddy dog walking trainers, I always ask if she'd like to take them off, she always ignores me.... anyway, I digress...
I call reverse!

MrsOrange · 27/02/2023 10:31

I also call reverse
But I'm intrigued by what these shoes are? So posh frock, updo etc but not stilettos - are they block heels? Loafers? ballet flats? Espadrilles?

The reality is I would welcome in my friend and her shoes, but whether I silently judged would depend on other factors - such as the type of shoe, was she now putting my other guests at discomfort because they took off their shoes, did she have history of always making things about her? In fairness if I go to a shoe off house, even for a naice dinner, I dress accordingly with an outfit that I can be bare footed or in flats.