If you are in the shoes off brigade

[Halfastoneextra]

If you invite someone to your house, say as an evening guest , here is the scenario:

The guest has made an effort to dress up for the evening, say a nice dress, updo, jewellery etc. She turns up at your house where you ask all guests to take their shoes off. This guest turns to a carrier bag she has on her, and withdraws a pair of very nice shoes that she wishes to wear with her dress. They are not stilettos, so won't damage any wooden floors. She shows you the soles and explains they are specially clean ie have not been worn outside and have been wiped down to make sure they are spotless. She says she wishes to wear them as they are part of her outfit and she does not wish to be discomforted by having to go barefoot.

Would you acquiesce. If not, why not?

I can’t imagine going to someone’s house who was so uptight I couldn’t wear the shoes I’d chosen for my outfit. I like expensive shoes so I might ask them to provided evidence their flooring isn’t going to damage my shoes.

And this, really arrogant attitude, and you think shoes off is a ‘brigade’. Usually it’s cultural, we are just a bit more advanced hygiene wise.

Agree with this

Surely you don't think that people maintain a shoes off household to be performative?!

This reminds me of that Sex and the City episode when Carrie grudgingly takes her very expensive shoes off at a party, only to find on leaving that someone has stolen them!

@Caviarandgelatine

Course they do.

Have you read the comments?!

We are a shoes off family culturally as well as by choice, but if a guest were so distressed about taking off their shoes, I would let them do as they please. I would also think they were very hard work.

No, you wouldn’t, because that’s not how people behave in social situations.

We just have a box of those cheap plastic shoe covers for people who don't want to take of their shoes. About half and half really between people happy to take off shoes and those who'll put on shoe covers. Close family/friends who are regular visitors have their own slippers in our cupboard to change into.

When we go to friends/family homes, we take slippers with us.

My work means I regularly visit client's homes and I always ask whether they want me to take off my shoes. Lots look relieved when I ask as it means they don't have the embarrassment of having to ask me! I don't even ask when visiting Asian family homes as it's part of their culture to be "shoes off" inside. Anyway, you can usually tell which homes are "shoes off" as there is usually a row of shoes in the front porch or just inside the entrance hall.

Don't be so ridiculous. People have a shoes off household because they find it dirty to wear shoes indoors. Even if they lived alone and never had a visitor ever again, they'd still be a shoes off household.

There’s no guarantee her feet are clean either?!

If I go to a shoes off house I make sure I’m wearing socks. The same socks that I may have spent the morning walking around my shoes-on house in, where my dog with his unwashed paws walks and that I sometimes may take a few steps into the garden (where my dog goes to the toilet) if I need to get him back inside and I’m not wearing shoes.

I may well have cleaner feet in my clean shoes.

I don't think we ever get anyone that dressed up to our house TBH. We don't wear shoes in our house, but no-one does round here, so I never have to ask, but I wouldn't ask anyway unless they were muddy.

When my sister and BIL turned up recently BIL walked in with his shoes on (I hadn't noticed TBH). DSIS yelled at him to take his shoes off.

@Caviarandgelatine

Maybe

But the whole judgy you're filthy I'm so much better than you stuff is definitely performative

We had some friends round for dinner on Friday. They brought their slippers

Do people not have door mats?

I guess the people saying you cant wipe cats feet are the same sort of people who believe you cant train cats not to jump on kitchen work tops either

I have 3 in a line and still wouldnt walk round with my outdoor shoes on.

Yes but my shoes still come straight off and onto the shoe tray, which is where the paw wipes also live. I just can’t get my head round thinking it’s ok to go round someone’s house with your outside shoes on and not take them off.

We trained our cats not to jump on the work surface - while we were in the house. Cats do what they want when you aren't there though

I don't think you understand what performative means tbh

I’ve one outside my door and one inside my door, I’d still not have outside shoes in my flat.

I might privately think it’s a little weird, but I wouldn’t stop someone from wearing “indoor shoes”. I don’t generally ask people to take their shoes off, but I prefer if they do, unless it’s a very quick visit.

I have never wiped a cat's feet (I am just imagining jumping up at 2am when the catflap goes to grab the cat and wipe his feet before he jumps into his bed and goes the sleep, and then again at 4am because he decided to go out agin, and then at 6 when he returns looking for breakfast.....)

But I have trained him not to jump on work surfaces, tables, coffee tables, piano, sideboard etc. and he is basically a floor, sofa and window sill cat. (and beds of course)

Whether he obeys it when we are not at home is another matter. I always wipe surfaces before I start cooking.

I have a nice pair of “dressy” black slippers that I take with me if invited to someone’s house. I pop them on when I get there so they complement my outfit. Most of my friends/family do the same.

How do you know I haven’t? 😆